[M-n-MsMama0510]

(Iam almost speechless about my situation at the moment that has to do with my older sister I'll give you the setting and ask how you'd feel....

Were both on Facebook and she's a friend of mine (course !! were bestfriends) a few days ago while Mason was spending time with his dad, I was with SO and to get away and have some fun. We got a hotel room and had fun for the first time really since New Years... the next day on my Blackberry I get a posting on my wall from my friend as to what I was doing that day, I responded with "just having some baby daddy sex" which me and SO thought was funny and didnt think twice about... I didnt post it on my status or anything.... Well later that day I get a message from my sister how Iam so disgusting and shes deleting me as a friend from FB and all this other stuff... I just said "whatever, if it will get you more sleep at night by all means do what you have to do." So I thought it was going to blow over till a few days ago she called my dad and was telling him how im such a ***** and what I posted and stuff, he just laughed that she was trying to get me in "trouble" with him when im 22 and me and SO are together. So to cut it short it has blown up even worse with her SO in Iraq messaging me how I need to not be so gross on a social site and how I've hurt my sister. Im SOOO lost, I dont understand how it had anything to do with her. Ever since I got pregnant tho she's been distant and we dont really talk much, I'll tell her how my appt went or a name im thinking of and all she says is "oh, can I talk to dad now" so I let it go... shes 27 and I dont want our relationship so stranded !!! I want her at my shower and I want to be at her wedding (which when I got pregnant she asked me not to be maid of honor anymore cause "pregnant people arent attractive"). I hate this but feel like it will never be fixed. I guess this just turned into a vent.... thanks if you got this far Me and her have just ALWAYS been there for each other no matter what.

[laisydaisymama]

"pregnant people aren't attractive"?????????

you are apparently better off.

I will leave it at that because I would have cut all ties at that statement personally. I am going to be my sister's matron of honor in March, I will be 17 weeks pregnant.

[~Devon~]

I'm confused, did it accidentally get posted on your facebook and she saw it?

It sounds like she is having some issue. I'm sorry you are so stressed about this but she is acting like a child, not a 27 year old.

[NCRG2010]

what a weird reaction!

[TeresaSuperMama]

Sounds like she is just being overly dramatic. Hopefully she'll settle down soon. It sounds to me like she has something bothering her besides your comments on facebook to me. When she's settled down and not acting so dramatic maybe you can talk to her and get to the root of the problem.

[Celine]

I could be completely wrong, but when I read your story it sounded to me like your sister is hurting and is back-lashing/taking it out on you. Your text just sounded like you are so happy and you want the whole world to know. And maybe she is really unhappy and got a bit jealous?

Could it be that she would really like to have a child herself? I know how I felt when people around me got pregnant had a baby and then got pregnant again... It seems silly but it hurts when you really want a baby. Does she have children herself?

I think it's really not about you but about herself you are just getting the beating for it.

[srprisebean3]

I think you guys need a heart to heart. Its possible something is going on that you aren't aware of. It may bother her because her SO is in iraq and she's jealous you get to spend time with your SO. My SIL finds it hard to be around other couples (other than family) whenever my brother is deployed. Or, its possible she wants a baby...you just never know.

When i got PG, some of our good friends started avoiding us and becoming more distant. We had no idea why, turns out they've been trying to have a baby for years and this baby was a complete unplanned surprise for us.

It sounds like there may be some deeper underlying issue here. Talk to her, i hope you can work it out!

[LillyAinwe]

o.O

Pregnant people are beautiful, and you wearing a lovely bride's maid gown with a glowing round belly would be extra beautiful...

I'm very sorry to hear your sister is having issues with you. Advice is the worst vice, but if you asked for mine, I'd say she's jealous. Her reactions sound a lot like my brother, who is also older. Its the "where's mine" mindset. The first thing my brother said when I told him I was going to get married (this was 9 years ago) was, "What? You're getting married before me?" And when I told him I was pregnant, he said, "What the @#$%?"

Overall I think he's happy for me, but only because I have been telling him for years that everything isn't about him. "Where's Mine?! What about me?" Mindset can be tricky to deal with sometimes. Your sister prolly feels that you trumped her wedding plans (or rather, all her attention she was to receive) because you're pregnant (And we get a LOT more attention, for nine months straight, and sometimes after). I'm sorry your loved one is being selfish. I am sure with time she'll come around. Give it some time perhaps but please keep trying to communicate with her until this issue is resolved. <3 GOOD LUCK! <3

[M-n-MsMama0510]

Thanks ladies, Im glad to see I really didnt do anything wrong. I mean everyone on my FB is a personal friend and knows how iam. I have no shame in posting something like that. I've often wondered if she has been wanting a baby and just hasnt yet since shes the "I need it all perfect first" type. Marriage, great car and house, money, job.... then baby. I honestly never see her as a mom because we have to be SOOO selfless.. but I know having a baby changes you ALOT. I have a strong faith in God and told her SO that's what I was leaving it up to... I got a long rant how God is useless and hoping on a nothing would only get me nothing... I know my sister has a different view on this. I wonder if she knows his yet. I just want her to get over it and come back to being my friend but in the long run even if it doesnt happen I think im ok with it. Im just going to live my life and try to be happy.

[sara~b]

I had something similar happen. My sister told me I couldn't have a boy, told me I shouldn't exercise, told me I should just give up and get fat, etc. She told me that getting pregnant was my way of choosing DF over her because I can't go drink with her on her 21st birthday now. Told me I was choosing Df over my nephew and all kinds of stupid crap. She ran off and tried to get pregnant a few weeks later. Thankfully it didn't work.

I finally gave up when she posted some spiteful things on my FB page for all of my family to see! Even my grandma, great aunt and mom are on my FB so she knew she was trying to get me in trouble. Then she posted something about some guy I dated before DF is looking for me. Knowing that she did that just to get DF and I to argue was the last straw. I deleted her and haven't looked back. She can call me when she comes around. And she won't be in my wedding next year because petty jealousy and MEANNESS is not attractive!

HTH. (((((HUGS))))

[Lv2Mommy]

Wow - I agree with the pp, maybe she's jealous and just in an unhappy place right now so she lashed out at you. I'd have a hard time letting the unattractive preggo stmt go, though.

[KMH]

You have described your sister as having a very traditional plan for her life...
"marriage, great car and house, money, job.... then baby." Maybe she just doesn't approve of your less-than-traditional approach? Further, she might be jealous and/or upset that your non-traditional approach has given you everything that she wants at a much younger age. Maybe if you just have a chat with her and let her know (nicely) that even though she might not approve of your choices, you are an adult and can make your own choices, she'll come around. Tell her you value her friendship and that you would really like to have a good relationship with her. Even though she has been hurtful to you, if you take a more mature approach, I bet she'll realize that she has made a big mistake treating you that way.

[mshah]

All you ppl are better than me! I would have replied "And b*tchy brides aren't attractive, either!" And anyway...did she not see how gorgeous kourtney kardashian was at her sis' wedding?! h-o-t mamma!

[Samiel]

Gosh, I don't really know what to say.. But about cutting you out of the wedding party: My sister was my matron of honor 3 weeks before her due date, and she was beautiful, absolutely glowing! There must be other reasons for her attitude. Maybe she's jealous that you will have 2 children before her and aren't married yet, but she's older and feels "behind"?

[Cheryl_W]

Another possibility... It may seem to you like she's very traditional, wants everything in a certain order, etc. but perhaps she has been trying for a long time and dealing with infertility issues? It definitely sounds like a jealousy thing, and my first thought is that she's possibly dealing with being unable to conceive, and then with her SO being deployed and possibly deciding to wait until after the wedding to go through more advanced treatments - you just never know.

I'd talk to her. Ask her - whats going on? Is everything OK? Tell her you're worried about her, and that you're sorry if something you said upset her and you want to help. She might open up - being close to her might seem counter intuitive when she's acting like that, but it could be just what she needs.

GL hunnie!

ETA: A lot of people assume when the kids haven't come along before the wedding, that you must be "traditional" - a lot of people assumed that DH and I waited until after marriage etc. to have a baby, and thats why we're finally pregnant now - but we had been trying since before we got engaged. She might surprise you, so try to talk to her and be there for her!

[M-n-MsMama0510]

Its certainly not that... I work in a pharmacy and have gotten discounts and had to recommend birth control for her cause some would make her bleed non-stop for 3 months. others made her sick... I've been to dr's with her when she doesnt know what to do anymore. I know I pissed her off I just dont know how or why she took something so personal.

[Sarah_S]

umm weird, I have no idea why she would even care, hello we are grown adults, you are pregnant, YES YOU HAVE SEX, she will get over it

[MissyPrincessEha]

Yea, someone peed in her cheerios.

I would ask her to tell me what is bugging her and then go on. Don't let it eat at you. Enjoy this time.