[M-n-MsMama0510]

Im just starting to feel baby kick, I have about a month to go till I even find out the gender and all I think about is how Iam going to already fail at breastfeeding. I watched a expisode of 16 & pregnant this morning while SO cooked me breakfast and she was so inspiring. She kept trying to BF but kept saying it hurt... I hate my boobs being sore !! Then I was reading on a DDC a lady was using nipple shields because she hardley had enough nipple area for baby to latch cause she already had almost flat nipple and now that she was super engorged it was even worse. Another lady was saying how bottles were SO much easier after she was BF for over an hour and baby would still be unhappy compared to a bottle that took 20 minutes, her breast were her's again and she was able to spend more time loving her baby and other children instead now. I really cant imagine sitting around while Mason is driving me nuts to breastfeed. I would really like to do it !! I know its best for baby and mine's health, it saves SOO much money ect. But I think im giving up before im getting started anyone have words of hope ?? I tried it with Mason but it just felt odd... and my milk took FOREVER to come in. And when it did I would try to pump cause he wouldnt latch on right (I think, I dont even know !!) but pumping would get me close to nothing. PLUS bottle feeding, SO can help and let me sleep sometimes. Bottle feeding is out weighing BF very much right now.

Sorry this has gotten SO long, I guess BF isnt such a simple matter as I was thinking.

Now kind of a personal question...

SO is 100% supportive in me BF or atleast trying. He was telling me how his ex tried with his daughter but felt very gross after a few feedings that she was turned on by it and didnt think that was normal so she stopped. My nipples serve almost no purpose to me in a sexual way but I was wondering if it could be true and how to avoid it or something. I dont want it to happen to me.

[Trish36]

Don't stress out too much. The more you do the more likely you are to fail.
With my first 2 kids I tried for about 1 weeks and gave up and went to bottle. I never regretted doing it, but with my 3rd I was totally set on bf'ing and it worked like a charm. You do need help from a lactation consultant sometimes, so don't be afraid to ask. The latch is the most important thing. If the latch is wrong and hurting you, it's never going to work. With DS I cried I was in so much pain.
Of course there are moms out there who try everything and still have to turn to the bottle for various reasons, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that in my mind. My kids grew up on formula and are perfectly happy and healthy. I know someone who breastfed her son until he was 3 and he is the sickest kid ever with tons of allergies. You'll do great!

[Ton-Ton]

I watch 16 and pregnant and usually end up rolling my eyes through most of the episode, lol.

I remember getting a strong maternal instinct and kinda awestruck feeling when I BF DS but not getting "turned on". Perhaps she was confusing her signals and feelings; it is overwhelming at first.

My advice would be to take a deep breath and don't over-analyse it. Every baby and every experience is different. Yes, it does take a bit of time to get used to at first and yes, there are times your breasts are going to be sore as all get out. But I think the advantages make the cons totally worth it. It never hurts to try and if you remember that with proper care, the pain can be mitigated and it doesn't last.

So yeah, just go in with the mindset of at least giving it your best go and if it doesn't work for you, then at least you know you tried your best.

(Wow...I wish I could write without sounding so muddled, lol)

[ZZ0607]

I never experienced a turned on feeling. It made my uterus contract the first few weeks, but that's normal. It also helps take the weight off faster. While I was breastfeeding, my boobs were a no sex zone anyway. Your SO's ex might've had too much sexual association with her breasts to allow the maternal ones to come through. It can happen. It was pretty easy with DD and she was weaned at 8 months. With DS I had him weaned to formula by 12 weeks because I'd been pregnant or breast feeding for 2 years by then with only a 4 month break between weaning and pregnancy. I don't know what effects, if any, that had. But with this one, I will start out breastfeeding and see where it goes. A few weeks of pain and cracking and working out the latch thing pale in comparison to natural childbirth, so it just didn't phase me too much.

With pumping and bottled breast milk, you're really supposed to wait until 8 weeks. I forget why now, though. I think to get your boobs and baby acclimated.

[M-n-MsMama0510]

With pumping and bottled breast milk, you're really supposed to wait until 8 weeks. I forget why now, though. I think to get your boobs and baby acclimated.

When I started to pump was when I gave up on trying to BF. So I wasnt worried about nipple confusion. I will not allow the hospital to give baby a pacifier this time around tho with better hopes

[MamaAnna]

I'll be honest and say at this point I don't play to breastfeed this one. Feedings took 40+ minutes with my youngest every couple of hours so I ended up spending very little time with my older two. If the baby is latched on properly it shouldn't hurt, especially after your nipples essentially get worn in. At first they'll be more sensitive, but it does get better (assuming you don't have nipples of steel that never hurt to begin with). If you want to breastfeed try not to think about it. There's a huge list of things that can go wrong and make it difficult if not impossible, and you can't worry about all of them. Worry if you need to when the time comes, not before.

Oh, and my youngest experienced no nipple confusion between breast, bottle and pacifier. She was actually using me as a pacifier beginning her first day (she'd just munch and not even attempt to actually eat), so it really saved me a lot of aches. Nipple confusion is sort of a baby to baby basis.

[laisydaisymama]

I would try really hard to not go straight to pumping and supplementing, that can make a big difference. I think that's what went wrong with my first also, I moved to a bottle WAY too quickly.

I honestly believe that unless there is something medically wrong, ANY woman can breastfeed, for as long as she wants. I had a terrible time with my first 2, but with determination, nursed my daughter until about 3 weeks ago, so well past a year.

if you want to do it, you can. You just have to decide if it's important to you or not.

[crazichickey]

I feel the same exact way you do. I told DBF yesterday that I was scared to death about BF. My nipples are sensitive 24/7. It hurts to take my bra off sometimes if I accidentally rub against them. I am scared that I am going to be in so much pain and going to hate every second of it.

[knightsgirl]

I was kinda worried I wouldn't be able to BF my son, but I was lucky that it was easy ... he latched on great and never had any problem with nipple confusion. Most of my problems with it were my own -- my milk took a while to come in, my nipples got super sore around the second week (which was helped a lot by using lanolin), one of them did not seem to produce much, and sometimes feeling 'isolated' from my family when I had to go to another room.

As for feeling "turned on" ... for me, when J started BFing and my uterus would contract, it would feel good. I wasn't turned on but it wasn't a "bad" feeling. =D

All you have to do is try ... there were so many times I wanted to give up, but I persevered and ended up BFing Jaiden until just after he turned 1. I loved the experience of it and the bond it created and I wouldn't change any of it!!

Good luck with it!!

[Mommy2Ethan]

I had a horrible time breast feeding my son, and It hurt me for a while ( emotionaly) that I wasnt able to. He never latched on right, and was always hungry no matter how hard I tried even with help from a lactation person. Even pumping didnt work, i would hardly get anything. But saying that I think that is making me try harder this time to want to breast feed, KWIM

Every baby is diffrent, so maybe this one will be awesome at it, and there will be nothing to worry about

[Army_Wife]

I'm going to be honest, too, and say that I'm not breastfeeding this time. I've had a breast reduction, and my supply is horrible. I suffered from depression after DS was born b/c I wasn't able to breastfeed, and I beat myself up for it. I felt so guilty. So when I was pregnant with DD, I decided I'd give it a try, at least long enough for her to get the colostrum, but BFing didn't work out with her either, and she was formula fed from about 5 days old. I didn't feel guilty that time, but it still upset me. This time, I going straight to the bottle. I'll nurse the baby after delivery and for the first few days, but I'll be supplementing with formula and then going to straight to formula after the colostrum is done. If BFing doesn't work out, don't be too hard on yourself. As long as your baby is eating, that's what matters.

[forest]

Don't talk yourself out of it already! Maybe take a breastfeeding class or go visit the BFing board here on JM to get a little inspiration. Although it was a bit difficult at first I really found BFing to be easier than formula would have been. Nothing to mix and no bottles to wash. I BFed until my DD was a little over a year. What about just deciding for now that you are going to try it for 2 weeks? Maybe mini goals would work better for you than trying to go for something longer from the get go.

[dee.76]

I have had mixed 'luck' with Breastfeeding with my 2 boys... and to be honest, I believe everyone is different and that goes for every child / baby and mother.. I think that is why you can't give up yet!... With my first, he was a great feeder and I fed him until he was about 12 months old... With my second however, I could only feed him until he was about 1 mth old due to my milk not being great and him not putting on weight.. I am hoping to be able to breastfeed this one... I guess we will see.. ... As far as the turned on thing, I dont think it ever happened to me, as the rest of the girls said, I do remember the uterus contracting feeling very early on.. but that is a little different to feeling 'turned on'.. I would suggest not to freak out just yet about it, and see how it goes.. Some ppl it works for and some it doesnt.. Take care

[TeresaSuperMama]

I would just try it and see how it goes. I had problems with bfing my first two, but my third went really well. If it doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work, but you might find things go really well for you and there is no harm in trying.

[Jax2008]

When I was pregnant with my first I was most scared of BFing, even over labor! My husband and I were so sure I would hate it.
I had trouble at first, he wouldn't latch on, I had to use a nipple shield, it hurt so bad, I would nurse him every 1.5 hrs for an hour each time. I would be up crying at night, but for some odd reason I stuck it out, threw out the nipple shield and taught myself and my son how to BF. After 6 long weeks it was smooth sailing, soooooo easy. I never regretted it once, and I nursed my son to almost 14 months. I did pump the entire time to increase my supply.
You might not like it but I would try, you might surprise yourself!!!

[Catherine]

I'm going to be brutally honest here...a lot of women are just in too much of a hurry to make BFing work. I was in a hurry with my first and, no surprise, it didn't work. My time could be better spent cooking or cleaning or whatever...I didn't take the time to fully appreciate what was really important. Then we lost two babies and when Myles was finally born healthy, I slowed way down and just enjoyed every single second with him. There is nothing better than snuggling with a warm cuddly baby at your breast. There is nothing more important.

As for your other child annoying you while you're BFing...we found it was a good time to put on a DVD or to read a book together...so I was bonding with BOTH boys. And if you get good enough at the technical part of it, you can do it with baby in a sling and you on the go (and nobody has to even know).

Slow down and just see what happens...that is the best advice anyone ever gave me...so that's the advice I give you now. Don't put the cart before the horse...don't set yourself up for failure by imagining everything that CAN go wrong. Just slow down, take a deep breath, and see what happens. There is nothing productive you can do with worry.

As for the sexual part of things...was SO's ex abused, by any chance? That is a typical reaction for victims of sexual abuse/crimes. They tend to confuse the emotions and, without the proper support, find it difficult to work through. If not, I would bet she didn't have very many healthy relationships in her life that allowed her to form a healthy view of the mother-child relationship and, by extension, the breastfeeding relationship. (I worked in Juvenile Court for three years and heard a lot of similar stories.)