[sweetliberty]

We went for Aaron's 9 month check-up today and for the most part it was good. He's 21lb 5oz and 29in long. He's growing well, developing well, and the doctor said they'd keep "eye on" his head because it's so big (the corpsman measured it at 19.25in and she measured it a little less than 19 and I got 18.75 so who knows) but he's always had a big head so I'm not really that concerned...

Okay so here's my question. It's mostly for mama's of uncirced boys but anyone can throw their opinions in, I don't care.

We left Aaron intact, there's never been an issue with it (no infections, etc.) and we never pull it back because...well you're not suppose to. She never has before and when she went to check in his diaper I turned around to grab a clean diaper and when I turned back she had it retracted. He was not upset by it, no screaming or fussing so I don't know exactly how far she went. Then she said that it looks good but I should start pulling it back to clean. I was still in shock so I didn't say anything, and I don't plan on retracting it but I'm debating on switching peds. What would you do? I was in such shock at the time I didn't say anything but I really would rather him not be seen by someone who knows nothing about intact boys but my husband seems to think it would be okay and that I should just say something next time.

My husband is Navy and we're seen on base so there's a limited number of peds. available but there are a two or three other ones I could ask around about.

What would you do? Stay or switch?

[Hollybear]

If you're not supposed to do it and she did it, then I would be upset!
(However, I know NOTHING about baby boys!)

P.S. - Why aren't you supposed to do that?

[Lilly Bella]

why aren't you supposed to retract it? i thought you were but i'm very clueless about this. or is the issue that she touched his penis??

[sweetliberty]

They explain it here but retracting it before it naturally detaches itself around puberty can essentially cause bleeding, scarring, etc:

Blissful Birth - Caring for Your Uncircumcised Baby Boy

[Lilly Bella]

OH! yeah um ***?! i'd find another dr as well that seriously is not cool.

[TxgirlinKy]

I was under the impression that as long as the skin isn't pushed back forcibly then it is okay to push it back and wash with soap and water. But this is one of those items that differs depending on who you ask.
If I was you I would just discuss it with your Pediatrician if it comes up again. If you feel strongly about your way then tell her your reasons but I would at least hear what she has to say and what her reasons for recommending it are also.

[Hollybear]

Okay, I'd be really ticked then.

I'm also really freaked out if I have a boy....like I already was told you have to put their wee in their diaper the right way or they will pee out of it....and now this....aghhhh

[sweetliberty]

Originally Posted by Hollybear

I'm also really freaked out if I have a boy....like I already was told you have to put their wee in their diaper the right way or they will pee out of it....and now this....aghhhh

I was told had to make sure his penis pointed down and I never have but honestly in my experience it almost always is anyway. So not a big deal.

The only part we've had issues with apparently is finding a doctor that knows something about intact boys.

[Vincent'sMommy]

I'm actually sort of in the same boat as you. I take Vincent to a group practice and we have seen all the doctors at least once. One of them at an earlier appointment (maybe 2 months?) did retract him before I even thought to say anything. I decided not to see her again and just see if there was a different doctor I liked better. I also just try to mention it at each appointment before they actually start the exam.

I like the doctor we just saw for his 9 month appointment and I think we had seen her before too. I just mentioned the retraction issue again and she said okay but then she pulled it back just a little bit anyway. It didn't bother me as much this time - it seemed like it was really nothing and didn't bother him at all. I just don't really get why she had to touch it at all. Pretty much the same thing happened when we went to the nephrologist the last time too. And we're supposed to be getting an appointment with the pediatric urologist soon so I'll have to deal with this there too. I guess I will see what they have to say about it. But I think I'm going to see if I can find a form to fill out to take to all of his doctors for his chart stating that we wish for him to not be retracted. I thought I saw one on the NOCIRC website before but I can't seem to find it now. It really bugs me that I will have to keep bringing this up forever. I wish doctors realized that they can just leave it alone.

[Vincent'sMommy]

Originally Posted by sweetliberty

I was told had to make sure his penis pointed down and I never have but honestly in my experience it almost always is anyway. So not a big deal.

The only part we've had issues with apparently is finding a doctor that knows something about intact boys.

I've noticed the same thing with it usually being pointed down. I've also noticed that when he does pee during a diaper change the foreskin seems to prevent the pee from going every which way and spraying me. It usually just goes down onto the diaper and changing pad.

[SarahBethsMommy]

Did she forcibly retract it or just pull it easily back? I clean my boys by pushing back just the slightest, not really much at all and wash easily with a cloth. My foster son is intact and he had a bad infection when he first came to me due to never having been cleaned down there at all. I guess his former foster mom was terrified of it. I've always cleaned Daniel the same way. They have never even remotely acted like it hurt them.

Also, there is a condition, rare though it is, that the doctors will check for called phimosis, in which the foreskin grows together over the head of the penis.

I'd talk more about why she is doing it before changing doctors. If it didn't seem to hurt him, then... well I'm not sure.

[starrsgirl]

I'm confused....I actually thought you should push it back gently once in a while to clean/check as well? Are there different schools of opinions on this? I wonder which they teach in medical school.....maybe it's different?

[Daffodil]

Um...to go along with my other thread...I'm kinda afraid of having a boy again. Yikes!

[Vincent'sMommy]

Originally Posted by starrsgirl

I'm confused....I actually thought you should push it back gently once in a while to clean/check as well? Are there different schools of opinions on this? I wonder which they teach in medical school.....maybe it's different?

peaceful parenting: Only Clean What Is Seen: Reversing the Epidemic of Forcible Retraction

I haven't read this whole thing yet but it does address why doctors still believe or advise that retracting is necessary and why it actually isn't. There are quite a few other good resources about intact care out there as well.

[Karlie]

Ok being from a country where 80% of boys are not circumsized, no childhealth nurse or pedi has ever touched either of my kids foreskins. And if they looked like they were going to retract them I would probably slap their hand away. Our pedi says to clean it the way you would clean your finger.

[sweetliberty]

Originally Posted by Karlie

Ok being from a country where 80% of boys are not circumsized, no childhealth nurse or pedi has ever touched either of my kids foreskins. And if they looked like they were going to retract them I would probably slap their hand away. Our pedi says to clean it the way you would clean your finger.

That's what I've always been told too. I'm actually shocked some people pull their son's back to clean it; I've always been told that you never pull it back at all unless there's an active infection.

I'll probably tell her not to when I go in for his 12 month check-up and if she wants to anyway my husband said he wouldn't have any issue just getting up and walking out.

Thanks for all your opinions.

[Wren]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

Um...to go along with my other thread...I'm kinda afraid of having a boy again. Yikes!

Yeah, I would maybe like a son, but I'm so happy I didn't have to deal with the circumcision question at all this time around.

[Ally-Mac]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

Um...to go along with my other thread...I'm kinda afraid of having a boy again. Yikes!

Bahahaha!
I hear ya on this one. I definitely want another girl if we have a 2nd.

[Kathryn Marie]

Omg I didn't know wieners were such high maintenance! I too am now afraid to have a boy. jk jk

But if I ever did, I know hubby would want to get him circumcised. I wish it wasn't the norm here because I really don't want to

Im shocked that so many doctors don't know how to care for an uncircumcised penis! I would be like a ninja warrior in front of that thing if I were you doctors can be idiots sometimes. Especially the young ones. (no offense to anyone that is a young doctor)

[Karlie]

Boobs, hips, periods, boyfriends...? I'll be thankful I have boys in about 16 years!