My ex contacted me today

EquestrianMama · #1 May 22nd, 2011, 01:21 PM

Man, what an emotion filled crazy day. My exhusband emailed me today. The no contact order has expired, and he wanted to let me know that he still has some of my stuff... a checkbook (account's been closed), my birth certificate, and our marriage certificate that I actually need for my passport. I'm having him mail them to Bobby's unit on base, care of a friend, so that he doesn't get my home address. I'm HOPING he's changed, but unfortunately it's rather difficult to get out of the mindset that he's still the same old abuser I knew.

Little backstory.. I married my ex after only 4 months of knowing him. Before we got married and for a brief amount of time, he was amazing. Turns out he was a chameleon. He ended up breaking a couple ribs, my nose, giving me 2 concussions, and sexually assaulting me before I got out. Thank god I did.. I can't imagine what it would have been like staying with him.

Anyhow, it's been a long day and Ali's not in a cuddley mood, so I can't even go snuggle her to feel better.

Arei_720 · #2 May 22nd, 2011, 01:56 PM

I'm sorry about your day! Your ex sounds like a real... peach. I mean, he waited all this time, holding on to your stuff till the contact order expired?! Why does it sound like he wanted a reason to get in touch with you- an "in". :\

#3 May 22nd, 2011, 02:07 PM

Ugh...so glad you had the mindset to get out of that relationship. I know it's hard and a lot of women get stuck there. Thank goodness you left before you had kids...if he hit you who knows what he could have done to them. I have so much respect for you for leaving and making a better life for yourself.

Too bad he still feels the need to contact you.

.s.o.p.h. · #4 May 22nd, 2011, 02:10 PM

I agree with Heather, its great you got out of there.

How long was the no contact order for and could you ever put it in place again?

#5 May 22nd, 2011, 02:11 PM

what heather said. Thank goodness you were able to get out. No woman (or man) should ever have to struggle with domestic abuse. Hopefully he's not able to figure out where you live, and you wont have to worry.

starrsgirl · #6 May 22nd, 2011, 02:24 PM

I'm so glad you got out of that abusive relationship when you did! That is a scary situation. Also, that's a good idea on protecting your home address. I'm so sorry this was a tough day for you. Hugs!!!

MelKD · #7 May 22nd, 2011, 02:28 PM

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. One of my exes abused me - emotionally, physically and sexually - and he actually contacted me about a year ago, right after getting out of prison. I understand your fear and anxiety, because I live with it too on a daily basis (I just found out that he lives about a mile away from me). Keep yourself occupied, and just make sure that all your personal information is secure (like Facebook, etc). Keeping you in my thoughts!

sfarrow3 · #8 May 22nd, 2011, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiX2Momma

what heather said. Thank goodness you were able to get out. No woman (or man) should ever have to struggle with domestic abuse. Hopefully he's not able to figure out where you live, and you wont have to worry.

Yes! I agree no one should have to live in that situation! I'm sooooo glad that part of your life is over and now you have a great relationship!

Genesis 33-5 · #9 May 22nd, 2011, 04:58 PM

Hey Lauren - I can totally relate to your former situation. I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years (I would have got out sooner, but he liked to hold my kids over my head). My ex busted me up quite a few times and also raped me on several occasions. I think your decision to have him mail stuff to Bobby's base is a great idea. And once you have your stuff, you can finally cut all ties with him. I know that will be a big point of closure. I don't think as women, we ever completely recover from being DV victims. I know I brought a lot of baggage into my current marriage (I am currently in counseling and she is helping me get rid of the garbage - it feels great!) Here is a big hug coming your way!

ElizabethS · #10 May 22nd, 2011, 05:31 PM

Your ex sounds like mine. Stay away, far away! A tiger does NOT change their stripes. I thank God everyday that I live in a new house in a new city and he doesn't know where I live!