[AndiNW]

Found this article in my local paper today. It's pretty long, so you may not get through the entire thing.

TheRecord - Parents keep child?s gender a secret

I understand their desire to discourage traditional gender roles, but it's a little too far for me. But to each their own I suppose. I just hope that their children have the self esteem and self identity to deflect the potential negative reactions they will encounter.

[Wren]

I read something a little while ago about a similar kid in Sweden. Sweden is a little more progressive, so that kid might face less problems. I'm a liberal feminist, so I'm all about making sure Stella has options beyond pink and dolls, but I feel like the end result of this is that everyone will react to the child in a very tentative and confused way.

I remember reading a lot of studies in a child development class I took as an undergrad that showed how people talk to little girls and little boys in a very different way. Like "I love your pretty shoes" vs. "Wow, you are so big and strong!". It is an interesting experiment, but not one I would like to do with my own child.

[AndiNW]

Originally Posted by Wren

I read something a little while ago about a similar kid in Sweden. Sweden is a little more progressive, so that kid might face less problems. I'm a liberal feminist, so I'm all about making sure Stella has options beyond pink and dolls, but I feel like the end result of this is that everyone will react to the child in a very tentative and confused way.

I remember reading a lot of studies in a child development class I took as an undergrad that showed how people talk to little girls and little boys in a very different way. Like "I love your pretty shoes" vs. "Wow, you are so big and strong!". It is an interesting experiment, but not one I would like to do with my own child.

My DD is 5 and we are so deep in the everything pink these days! But then she throws me a curve ball and blue is her new favorite colour. So far I think we've done a pretty good job of giving her balance - she takes ballet and plays soccer. I think it's easier for girls to be masculine than vice versa. But, I wonder what it will be like with Wyatt? Will he take ballet and play soccer? How would others around us react to that? I think of myself as really liberal as well, but when I think of my little boy do I really think of ballet? No. This parenting thing is going to be interesting.

[Arei_720]

Originally Posted by Wren

I read something a little while ago about a similar kid in Sweden. Sweden is a little more progressive, so that kid might face less problems. I'm a liberal feminist, so I'm all about making sure Stella has options beyond pink and dolls, but I feel like the end result of this is that everyone will react to the child in a very tentative and confused way.

I remember reading a lot of studies in a child development class I took as an undergrad that showed how people talk to little girls and little boys in a very different way. Like "I love your pretty shoes" vs. "Wow, you are so big and strong!". It is an interesting experiment, but not one I would like to do with my own child.

I recall reading something along those lines as well, when my almost-6yr-old DD was a baby! To this day, I try to compliment her on her achievements, eg "Good job in karate! You kicked really well!", "Wow, you're so smart!"

I dont know how to explain how I feel but I have girls. Kaitlyn is a very girlie girl. She loves dresses, lip gloss, shoes, purses, BUT she also plays t-ball right now, loves to go fishing, and has asked to play soccer too. She loves to play with the neighbor boys and throw the football with them.

Now, if we were to ever have a boy, I dont think I would like the idea of him doing ballet, playing dress up with dresses, ect. I dont know what it is about it but I just wouldnt let my boy do obvious girlie things. Now, for example if he were interested in "cooking" I would buy him a boyish apron, and things like that. If he wanted to play dress up, I would buy a set of career clothes (the ones that come with police office, fire fighter, mail carrier, chef, etc". Those can be for boys and girls but dont actually define a certain gender.

[Arei_720]

I read the article and am of the opinion that if you want to participate in "society" that you have to follow society's rules. It's okay to smudge the lines in some areas, but not to the extreme.

[mrsjl]

Lurker here...

so any guesses on the baby's gender?

I think boy.

[preciousgiftsmama]

Originally Posted by mrsjl

Lurker here...

so any guesses on the baby's gender?

I think boy.

LOL I think a boy too

Ugh, whatever, I usually choose not to respond to stuff like this but sheesh! I think sometimes people just really can take things a little too far, but each to their own. I had 3 girls, then a boy and he is my last. Perhaps I am 'old school" now because I raise my girls like girls and raise my new son like a boy and I tell the whole world that I have 3 girls and a boy! Oh and its ok if someone buys my boy a blue truck and my girl a pink dress

[sethsmum]

I think they are taking it too far. Its fine to allow your child to express itself and be who it wants to be, but not to that point. I have 3 boys and if they wanted to dress in pink that would be fine. Hell one is obsessed with sport and another wants to be a dancer. But they are still boys and no matter how much I told them it didn't matter, it wouldn't make a difference to the fact they do have a gender.

I also think the child is a boy

[TarrahLovesHuLo]

with 2 boys already, it's the most likely Storm is a boy. Of course that is just a greater possibility.

[sfarrow3]

Wierd!

[*BabyMaMa*]

Call me crazy, but I'm going to raise my boy as a boy (if and when I have one). I'll let him explore things outside of the "boyish" world of toys and clothes, but to a certain extent. I have several gay male friends that I love, but I wouldn't wish or encourage that lifestyle for my child. It's a hard life to be gay (teasing and inequality...unfortunately), but I would still love my child if he/she were gay. Boys IMO should be manly, rough, and protective. I wouldn't force those traits, but I kind of expect it...KWIM? I don't know...hope I didn't offend anyone geez.

[faith143]

When I was in college, there was a study discussed in one of my educational psychology classes about this very subject. It was about child "X". Discussions about which line in kindergarten to line up in--the boy's line or the girl's line etc.

As a teacher and as a mom, I'm just of the mindset that kids should be kids. I put Lily in headbands and hairbows and she wears dresses and has her ears pierced. I hope she plays hockey and loves to fish. My 11 year old son doesn't have issue wearing pink if he likes the shirt. He plays hockey, is in Boy Scouts, loves fishing and playing with his baby sister.

Men and women are designed differently for reasons.

And for the record, I didn't do boys and girls lines in my classroom. One line for lunch--each kid had a number--they were alphabetical to make lunchline simpler. The other times we needed to be in a line, they were mixed boys and girls.

[Hollybear]

I could never pull it off, but I think it's sort of neat that they were doing it. I guess. I don't know, I honestly don't have a preference. I'm sorry, but I like hairbows on Sophie....but if she started playing with Sean's clothes, wanting to "pretend" to be like daddy I would never correct her and be like, "Girls don't wear ties!", I'd just let her play.

A friend of mine posted this on her FB and a HUGE "fight" broke out. One of my favorite (favorite as in for the LOL's) responses was by this random person that I don't even know:

OH MY GOSH!! IS ALL I CAN SAY! {THIS} is exactly what is wrong with this world today! no disrespect to any of you above but get a clue here.. i'm with you <name removed> and <name removed>.. GOD MADE MAN AND WOMAN..PERIOD! there should not be any discussion or {choice} made by a freakin child on what he thinks he needs to be, i have a son, i raised him to be a man.. i have a daughter who i raised to be a woman.. there was no confusion!! God made the "penis" for little boys who become men, and He made the "vagina" for little girls who become women! teach your kids what they are.. i think the people in the article just wanted a way to put their child in the public eye, they probably are hoping they'll get some kind of comercial deal or something stupid.. and all the hype of "omg, you're wearing a certain color shirt, you're not what you say you are".. S..T..U..P..I..D... get your butt into the Bible and raise your children the way God says too!!!!! ok, i'm done

Originally Posted by TarrahLovesHuLo

with 2 boys already, it's the most likely Storm is a boy. Of course that is just a greater possibility.

Psh, everyone knows that Storm is a GIRL. Haven't you seen X-MEN! (haha)

[sweetliberty]

I've been debating even responding to this thread just because it's such a touchy subject on both sides of the debate. You have the, "men are men and they are to act like such, and women are women and they are to act like such" and then you have...well those parents; and every opinion in between. It's very easy to offend people discussing things like this.

With that said, we're raising Aaron to be whoever, whatever he wants to be. My only hope for him is that he's happy and healthy; beyond that I couldn't care less.

[AndiNW]

Originally Posted by preciousgiftsmama

Ugh, whatever, I usually choose not to respond to stuff like this

Originally Posted by sweetliberty

I've been debating even responding to this thread just because it's such a touchy subject on both sides of the debate. It's very easy to offend people discussing things like this.

I hope I didn't offend anyone by posting this. Honestly when I read it in my local paper I didn't realize how "popular" the story was until they published a follow up today about people's reactions and how the story was being discussed in forums like this. I thought I just found an obscure article and wanted to share. I'm always interested in other people's approach to parenting and as well as nature vs nurture.

Generally we are pretty good in this playroom about discussing things and I learn a lot from your opinions, but I can refrain from potentially controversial topics in the future.

[sweetliberty]

Originally Posted by AndiNW

I hope I didn't offend anyone by posting this. Honestly when I read it in my local paper I didn't realize how "popular" the story was until they published a follow up today about people's reactions and how the story was being discussed in forums like this. I thought I just found an obscure article and wanted to share. I'm always interested in other people's approach to parenting and as well as nature vs nurture.

Generally we are pretty good in this playroom about discussing things and I learn a lot from your opinions, but I can refrain from potentially controversial topics in the future.

You didn't offend me, but this tends to be a fairly controversial topic. I'll be honest and say I winced at a few of the answers but I'm sure they winced at my answer too. I've just seen topics like this get nasty really quick.

[SarahBethsMommy]

It is a touchy subject and I am sure many people would disagree with me, but I think a major issue with society as a whole is that we've gone too far on the "everyone is equal" front. Men and women are equal, but not the same. We've skewed those lines. I really believe we should teach our boys to be men and our girls to be women. But, before you start flaming me hear me out.

Real men should be strong in mind and body. They should have a desire to care for themselves and others... especially their family. They should stand up for those who cannot help themselves and fight for them if necessary. They should love completely and be willing to lay down their lives for their family. Holding doors, saying "yes maam," paying for dinner... that's all part of it.

Real women should be caring and loving for all. Being strong in mind and loving to those who need love and those who try to show that they don't. Willing to help and care for those around them.

I hope that makes sense. It doesn't mean I wouldn't allow my son to dress up (I'd buy him super hero costumes and stuff like that) or that I wouldn't allow my daughter to play sports or take karate (she does).

[AndiNW]

Originally Posted by sweetliberty

You didn't offend me, but this tends to be a fairly controversial topic. I'll be honest and say I winced at a few of the answers but I'm sure they winced at my answer too. I've just seen topics like this get nasty really quick.

I feel really foolish now because I didn't see the potentially for this to get nasty. But of course it could. Don't know why I didn't recognize that. Sorry.

I think the main thing is what everyone has posted is their opinion. It's neither right or wrong. We will all raise our kids the way WE want, not based on someone else's opinion.