[dunerchick]

I will try to make this as short as possible. I have a crazy " sil " so dh's little brother married her 4 years ago I've known her for probably 15 years so this marriage shocked me. They had a baby girl 1 year later. Then 6 months after they separate because she is using rx pills. He leaves her with the house and moves out with the baby. she doesn't see the baby for months and the home goes into a short sale. During that time she would call him over while shes in bed with other men hoping for a fight. She now wants to get her baby back it's been 6 months so she calls him over and starts an argument calls the cops and throws herself on the ground and rubs on the cement to create scratches and has him arrested. While he's transported she gets a restraining order on him for her and the baby. He ends up getting out the next day and eventually cleared of all charges. Through all of this she runs his truck into a pole twice totaling it. Harasses the inlaws to the point the cops are called 10+ times etc etc. etc. Her brother is currently in prison for rape and attempted murder, her younger is in and out for drugs, her older sister is also incarcerated for drugs as well just to shed light in her side of the family. Well one time while the baby was with her she thought her little brothers gf stole a $20 bill so she gets her shotgun points it at her head and forces her into her apt and ends up stealing her iPod. She's arrested for aggravated kidnapping and robbery. Fast forward a few months she takes a plea deal and is now on probation. During the trial she also got a DUI. Well during all of this I made it clear to my son that she is a dangerous person and if he ever sees her to run indoors and come to me asap. I also have to keep all doors locked in case she tried to steal from us or hurt us. Well now things have settled down and I got the talk that I have to be civil because she is her mom and for birthdays and holidays she will be around. I refuse to, do you guys agree with my decision?

Also the house she lived in tested so high for meth it ended up going into foreclosure.

[shockandawe]

K...I'm a bit confused. Who now has custody of the little girl? If she were going to be at family functions, I'd probably avoid them. Doesn't mean you don[t interact with your niece or give her birthday gifts etc. But until you feel comfortable that being in proximity to her is safe for you and your children, I would say, send a gift or see her outside of the family functions.

[Arei_720]

Was she under the influence when she was psycho, or just plain nuts? I tend to agree, you have to protect your children.

[dunerchick]

They are separated and have joint custody of her. I still give gifts etc but avoid anything that has to do with her. She was under the influence and has been on off under the influence/ crazy the 15 or so years Ive known her. some people hit rough patches but she is a rough patch.

[Mom-Mom]

I can definitely relate, df's family is full of drug users, too. If i go to his mom's, i have to put my purse in the trunk & lock my doors. His sisters, all 3, are crack heads/rx drug users. So, since they are constantly at my mil's, as she is in a wheel chair and they have to help her, we rarely take the girls there. Charlotte has seen Grandma maybe 6 times in her life. The oldest stole $ and cc's from her own mother, stole checks from her cousin & is currently banned from kmart, walmart & target for stealing. She has been to prison twice and jail more times then i can count. She also has 12 kids (yeah, 12) & custody of 0. They were all taken by the state. The youngest sister lost her 3 kids once, bc of drugs and domestic violence, but got them back 6 mos later. We stay away from his side of the family.

Your first priority is your kids. I would avoid her no matter who's feelings I had to hurt.

[dunerchick]

Thanks ladies I agree and will stand my ground

[faith143]

Yes, totally agree....it's YOUR job to protect you and your kids. With someone like that who has no regard for any other human being but herself, WHY is it your job to smile and play nice? Whatever. Not to say go out of your way to be rude, but for pete's sake...you absolutely can avoid and ignore!

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes!

[hsmaldo]

Just curious who gave you "the talk" about playing nice with her? I would be civil if I absolutely had to be around her, but I would also not go looking for chances to be in the same room with her. I also would not trust her at all to be around my kids or belongings.

So, I guess I'd be civil, but wary, skeptical, and smart as well.

[GinaOfAllTrades]

For me personally, I would attend the birthdays/holidays. I wouldn't be nasty or ugly to her but I would not go out of my way to be nice to her either.

[dunerchick]

My mil did and it surprised the hell out of me considering she has gotten the most headache from her. The nut job has got in her face called the cops many times and stole my dh's little sisters shoes?! Wth? The only problem with say holidays is my immediate family like my mom, brother is afraid of her too. She's a sneaky ***** who at any moment could snap. If I and I have run into her at the store I am civil just to prevent her from burning my house down or something. If you pm me I can give a link to the article when she kidnapped that girl.