Day 1
My name is Sophie Amelia and was born June 17th 1990 weighing 6lb 7oz.
Before I was born, I was a Ward of the State meaning the state government were responsible for my well being.. This meant I was taken out of my biological mothers care as soon as I was born. This is because my biological mother, Karren has schizophrenia and my biological father, Kevin was a drug addict.
The reason I was immediately taken out of Karrens care was because she had had my only full biological sister, Ingrid three years before and that was a very messy situation, Karren was not taking her medication properly and Ingrid was now in our biological grandparents care.
When I was born, I had been considered to go into my biological grandparents care also (they adopted Ingrid and Ingrid was raised by her grandparents, being her parents though she still knew Karren really well and knew who her biological parent was)
My biological grandparents had already had 4 girls of their own (Karren obviously being one of them) and were 50ish by then and decided it was best for me to go to another family but they wanted me to go to a family where they could still have contact with me.
By the way, ill refer to my ‘adopted’ parents as mum and dad from now on, just because they obviously are my mum and dad but I don’t want to confuse anyone!
Mum and I
Me
Moving onto my parents (adopted parents, Sue and Peter).
This was my mum’s first marriage and my dad’s 3rd (he has now left his 4th wife and is with a 5th woman).
My dad had had two girls, Melissa and Krysta from his first marriage, when he was in his early 20s after he had had them, he had a vasectomy. Mum and dad had decided to have a baby and dad had his vasectomy reversed. Mum was 37 by then and dad was 40. They tried for about 18 months with no success. So they attended an information weekend inregards to fostering older children but decided not to go ahead with that and continued trying to get pregnant. Obviously their names were on some kind of list for fostering after going to this information weekend and were called and asked if they wanted to long term foster a baby girl (me!). Mum had been at work that day and went to see social services the following day. They gave mum and dad more information about me and had the weekend to decide. Obviously they decided to go ahead with it. So at 17 days old, my mum and dad took me home. When they picked me up, they asked mum is she wanted to dress me and she said no because she had no experience with babies and was scared she’d break me! The first couple of weeks my dad did most of the care because he had had children previously.
Three months later, my mum discovered she was pregnant. Social services asked if they now wanted to give me up as they were having their own child. Mum says this was of course a no.
My mum had high blood pressure (and still does) and had to be induced with my sister. They asked mum is she wanted to have her on my birthday, mum said no because she wanted us to at least have our own birthdays. So on the 16th June 1991, exactly one year minus a day after I was born. Claire Emily came into the world.
Claire and I
Around 15 months, I had my first operation on my eyes. I was born with a double squint at both. So both my eyes turned in. This surgery did correct my eyes temporarily but then my right eye went so I had a second surgery around 18 months. Social services paid for the first one but mum and dad had to buy for the second one as social services wouldn’t.
Before my surgery
When I was around 2 ½ - 3 years of age, mum and dad applied for adoption.
Karren was really up and down, didn’t take her medication properly (still) and was in and out of psychiatric units. She had access with me, wouldn’t show up and then would complain that she wanted more access etc.
In the end social services started arranging access at a child care centre, I would hate it when mum and Claire left, so when Claire was old enough mum decided to leave Claire to make it easier for me, Karren kicked up about that and said Claire was taking away from our time together. She would say thinks like ‘Come to mummy’ etc but I knew mum, as my mum so it all confused me.
Karren had to approve me being adopted by mum and dad. When I was around 6, mum and dad were about to take it to court and Karren agreed. She had 30 days to change her mind, mum has told me before that those 30 days were some of the hardest of her life.
My adoption went through, I still remember that day. It was mum, dad, Claire and I. Claire and I wore matching dresses and got to pick one teddy each to take. We all sat in a room while a man asked me if I liked living with mum and dad and wanted to continue to do so.
The day I was adopted
About a year later, mum, Claire and I travelled to England to see my mothers dad (Mum is from England, dad is from wales) we then met my dad in Hungary to attend my sister, Melissa’s wedding. Melissa and Paul were living and working in Hungary and we were flower girls in her wedding.
When we returned home mum and dad told us they were splitting up. My dad had also had this ‘great’ idea to open an Indian restaurant so my dad had been working full time and my mum had been doing part time teaching AND trying to run this restaurant. We went bankrupt. I think mum and dad still would have split but this was another contributing factor.
Primary school
So we had to sell our house, dad left mum with two girls and $2000 to buy a house. Mum was still only a relief teacher and had no steady income. Mum had to loan $10000 off my sister, Melissa for a house deposit.
I don’t really remember but mum says we really didn’t have much money and she struggled a lot I think.
When I was around 10, 11 years old; I started questioning my mum a little more on who my biological dad was. Mum didn’t know that much about him but told me what she did know. The ironic thing was that I didn’t have much interest in him at all but I did go to a counsellor and talked about possibly meeting him and possibly meeting the other children we thought he had.
A couple of days after this, my mum sat me down and told me that Susan (biological grandmother, Ingrid’s ‘mum’) had told her that Kevin (biological dad) had died.
I wasn’t really bothered by this. That may sound strange. Im still not really bothered by it. Apparently he had denied I was his child whether he really believed that or not, I don’t know but I’d had nothing to do with him at all.
Around 12, mum got made a permanent full time teacher and we moved house and I started high school. The four friends I had from primary school, Fern, Kimberley, Megan and Elsa all went on to the high school I did and we were inseparable. I now lived 3 houses away from Megan and we would walk to school every day and more often than not, Fern would come home with us every day and we’d spend the afternoons together.
In year 8 (I was 14), I started going out with my first ‘real’ boyfriend and fell inlove hard and fast. Ryan had gone to my high school (and primary school actually) and was two years older than me. So as we got together, I went into year 9 and he went into year 11 and was going to Rosny College.
We spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun. By the time I was in year 10, he practically lived at my house. In the first year or two of our relationship, he wasn’t a very good boyfriend. I don’t know if he ever actually cheated on me but he definitely did a lot of things, that you don’t when you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and hurt me a lot. In the end I’d had enough and I told him that if he didn’t change, I was gone. No questions asked. This was a big step for me cause I’d been a bit of a push over as far as how he had treated me. For the last year of our relationship, he really did change and was a great boyfriend. I was 17 and now in year 11 at Rosny college myself. I started going through a really bad phase. I got extremely depressed and drank a lot. I started cheating on Ryan which I absolutely hate now, it makes me so upset that I did those things to him. I wanted out of our relationship. Ryan really didn’t want this and would cry and beg for us to be together. I don’t know what I had in my head but I didn’t want this. So in total we were together for 3 years. We are still ‘friends’ and I still care about him a lot.
High school
Grade 10 leavers dinner. Fern, Elsa, Megan, Kimberley and I
Ryan and I
After Ryan and I split up for good I almost immediately starting dating Kimberley’s cousin, Kaiden.
That ‘relationship’ was just a mess and barely a relationship. I was still completely depressed, still drinking, smoking and smoking weed which was a big thing for me cause I’d always been against using drugs myself as I need the 13% risk of getting schizophrenia went up to a 50% if I did drugs.
Kaiden and I cheated on each other and like I said big mess. He was and still is a huge manipulator and had me around his finger.
We ended after about 2 months.
I tried to get back with Ryan and he didn’t want that.
I went to the doctor and got on antidepressants. I’m so happy about that decision. I was starting to go back to being me and stopped the smoking weed and haven’t touched it since.
Around this time, Ingrid and I started to learn more about our half siblings. We found out Kevin had 7 children, to 5 different woman. We met two of them, the eldest, Astrid and the youngest, Tegan. They had both known Kevin. Tegan had grown up with him and I think her mother was an alcoholic also. We have been told that when she was younger, she had gone to school without food and without her hair being done etc. I think Kevin used to use drugs infront of her a lot as well.
Summing up,
I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have been adopted by my parents. My adopted dad and I don’t have a great relationship, he doesn’t have a good relationship with any of his children but that’s a whole other story.
My mum is my rock. She is one of the most amazing person I’ve ever met and im just so lucky. She’s been a mum and a dad and so much more.
My relationship with Karren isn’t great, it isn’t bad but its not great. Her and Ingrid have a really close relationship because they lived a couple of houses away from each other and Ingrid grew up with Karren as her ‘sister’. Its just a really strange thing to see and speak to someone and know they are your mother but it doesn’t feel like it, at all. I cant really explain it, its just a strange relationship. We can definitely make small talk if we have to but I’d never just call her up for a chat, if that makes sense.
Day 2
Rick and I met on June 7th 2008. One of my best friends, Elsa was seeing Rick's brother, Mark. Elsa and I had been spending a lot of time together and she invited me to Mark's (Rick's) house. Rick was having a party for his 17th birthday that night. Elsa, Mark and I were switching between going up to were the party was and hanging out in his room.
Anyway, I really dont know how all this happened, I wasnt really drunk at all and wasnt confident when it came to approaching guys) but Rick and I ended up kissing and then.. you know. I really dont know how that one happened cause I never just slept with people. Maybe I knew he was the one? Ahh.. i doubt it.
The following night my mum and sister were away so Mark, Elsa and Rick came to stay at mine. Rick and I just started hanging out from there. I really, really liked him which was kind of another shock to me because he was/is a year younger than me.
Rick was a bit hesitant in making in offical with me and actually told me that he didnt want to be with anyone for longer than a couple of months.
We made it offical on July 1st 2008.
I cant remember when it was exactly but Rick and I broke up because I was seeing Kaiden. Looking back now I cant believe how stupid I was and how horrible I was aswell. Im so lucky Rick took me back and I hate that that is apart of our history but I will never, ever make it apart of our future.
Rick is the most amazing person I've ever met. He is so kind and friendly. He'll talk to anyone, anywhere with great ease.
He made me the happiest girl in the world when he asked me to marry him.
Rick is studying to be a nurse and works in age care.
Day 3
In 2009 Rick and I started talking about having a baby. I had always wanted a child young, I just knew i'd be a young(er) mum. Rick wanted to try also but wanted to wait until he had at least finished year 12 which was a good idea and Im glad he still had a level head cause I was just ridden with baby fever.
October 2009 was our first cycle of trying and on October 31st, I found out I was pregnant. We could not believe that it had only taken one cycle even though I had been charting, using OPKs etc.
I had fairly standard pregnancy, I mean I was fatigued, my back was extremely sore (already have back problems) etc but there was nothing ever out of the ordinary.
I absolutely loved being pregnant. Around when Eva was due I was desperate to met her but I would have been quite happy to be pregnant for another 8 weeks. Maybe I wont be so lucky next time but I would seriously consider being a surrogate for someone, whether I knew them or not.
8 weeks pregnant
39 weeks pregnant
On July 13th 2010, Eva Grace was born (or Sock as some of you may remember? haha). She weighed a healthy 8lb 7oz which was crazy to all of us as 101lb pre pregnancy and had always been tiny!
Eva wasnt named for 4 days. She was very nearly called Lilia.
Eva is the single best thing I have ever done. She is so clever and cute with a lot of personality. Just when I think I couldnt possibly love her anymore than I do, tomorrow comes.
Fresh Eva
First shower
My big girl a few weeks ago
Questions
How is your relationship with Claire now?
Claire and I have a great relationship and are really close. We still argue occasionally but never about anything serious.
When do most people develop schizophrenia if they are going to get it? (I mean is it something you still worry about? Or not as much anymore?)
Its normally in your late teens. I mean the idea of it freaks me out. Obviously my biological mother had it couldnt raise her two children. I couldnt imagine being pregnant and knowing the child would be taken away from you.
Im curious too know how your relationship is with both sisters? Do you speak to any of the half siblings? I just answered this inregards to Claire. Ingrid and I are close also but Ingrid and I's relationship is more like friends as we never grow up together.
We talk to the half siblings we know, yeah. The youngest one is a little strange and socially awkward but im not surprised with what shes been through.
Do you plan on more children in the future? How close is Rick to finishing his nursing degree?
Yeah we do, either one or two more but it wont be for about another five years.
Rick will finish his degree in 2 and a half years.
I start studying nursing next year and I want to complete that before I have another baby.
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