[alinne1026]

I am looking for any advice you Moms of mulitple kiddos have on how to keep your cool. My LO's are 6, 2, and (of course) <1. My oldest is constantly tormenting the toddler. The toddler is either crying, or trying to attack the baby. The youngest two look for ways to get hurt. Someone is always crying or driving my crazy....the list of frustrating scenarios seems to carry on and on throughout the day. My concern is that I am so on edge all day that my kiddos only see a stressed and aggitated Mom. I regret my tone and my behavior toward them at the end of almost every day. I guess because they have three very different needs and personalities, I just can't seem to get a grip on the flow of our day. It also trickles up...Kellen gets the best Mom behavior, Kaila gets a pretty good Mom, but Keira (my oldest) gets the witch. Ugh.

A little info on me/kids: I work from home, so my Mom watches the kids during the week days. DH travels 10 days at a time and I only see him in 4 day stretches. I really don't have friends over EVER. In other words, my word is pretty small these days! My oldest also has a very similar personality to mine and is 6 going on 16. We butt heads constantly and I can't seem to let things slide. I feel like I'm on her about her attitude all day. Some of it is deserved but I probably take it a little too far and should just turn the other ear sometimes - especially when my frustration level is only being heightened because there is a crying toddler and danger-seeking baby tearing through the house.

Please let me know what helps you keep your sanity, keep your kids as happy as possible, and keep you from feeling guilty (like I do) at the end of most days. I love my kids and want them to look back and think happy thoughts...not remember how Mom was always going ballistic over everything.

[starrsgirl]

Just wanted to say I feel for you over there! Hang in there!

First....take a deep breath. I do not have 3 kids so I dont have any exact advice. I do know that any time I begin to feel like Kaitlyn (age 4) is having a bad day, I stop what Im doing and try to spend time with her. Whether its reading a book or just snuggling on the couch. Sometimes I think her bad mood is caused by my "need.to.get.things.done.right.now!" attitude. Also, not sure if you have a whining/crying problem but Kaitlyn whines( I HATE IT) and when she doesnt get her way she will cry, and moan, and I read somewhere (cant remember where) to video her doing her whin/cry and show it to her. IT HAS BEEN WORKING! I dont know if it's because she see's how awful she looks and sounds but if she starts it I say "mommy, will video you" and she stops! It's like magic! LOL

I guess I dont really have answers that will help you but know we are here to listen when you need. Try to take a minute for yourself, and think about what is triggering the problems.

PROZAC.....

No, seriously....I have a 3 1/2 year old who never stops talking or moving, and an 11 month old who has discovered if he screams when his sister comes near she gets in trouble. I have found that reminding myself of their age helps. I find myself saying, "why are you acting like a 3 year old!" It sounds silly but it helps to put me in check. Grace's best friends are a set of twin girls...they will be 5 in August. I often forget that my child is only 3 so she is going to act like a 3 year old.

Sometimes I find myself making up silly songs...yesterday Caleb was screaming none stop...I found myself in the kitchen singing, "Caleb, Caleb why are you screaming now? Don't you know you're driving mommy to drink?......" Caleb didn't stop screaming but a few more made up lines of my song and I was smiling.

Get out of the house! Look around your community and get the kids signed up for every event under the sun. They'll be too busy to bother each other, or you.

My DH travels a lot for work so I feel your pain. Hang in there

[Daffodil]

How is your oldest tormenting the 2 year old? Sorry I have no advice, but I'm thinking in the upcoming years your oldest will actually become a big help to you (hopefully)!

[mommytokem]

I have 4 kids, 6, 5, almost 4 and 10.5 mos and I find that when they are on a pretty good routine then they are better behaved. I also make sure that I get up before them in the morning and get some exercise in and it has helped a lot. Also I try to do at least one fun thing with them each day, go for a walk, go to the park, just playing in the back yard, washing the car, playing in the sprinkler.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by alinne1026

A little info on me/kids: I work from home, so my Mom watches the kids during the week days. DH travels 10 days at a time and I only see him in 4 day stretches. I really don't have friends over EVER. In other words, my word is pretty small these days! My oldest also has a very similar personality to mine and is 6 going on 16. We butt heads constantly and I can't seem to let things slide. I feel like I'm on her about her attitude all day. Some of it is deserved but I probably take it a little too far and should just turn the other ear sometimes - especially when my frustration level is only being heightened because there is a crying toddler and danger-seeking baby tearing through the house.

Please let me know what helps you keep your sanity, keep your kids as happy as possible, and keep you from feeling guilty (like I do) at the end of most days. I love my kids and want them to look back and think happy thoughts...not remember how Mom was always going ballistic over everything.

I have no advice on the 3 kids since I only have 1, but I just wanted to say we're in very similar situations because I also WFH and my mom is watching Juliana at least for the next few weeks. It's kind of different with my mom because she only stays here a few weeks at a time so when she does, she's willing to babysit on weekends, evenings, etc. so it gives me a chance to get away. I feel so much more relaxed when I can go to the gym, go get my hair done, etc. Maybe your mom could come on a weekend? Or maybe when your DH is home he could watch the kids and you can your mom could get a pedicure?

Also, I know how it is to not have friends. When you WFH, you can't exactly go out and make them. I joined a local parents' group that meets once per week at lunch time, and I have a tough time making it even though it's at lunch, but I do go about once a month. I've met some other mom friends there.

Also, keep venting away on here! It helps me frequently.

[alinne1026]

@Shannon - That's a great idea!! I think the thought of video taping might work for my older two!

@Daffodil - Well, it's usually little things like telling her over and over again that 'Barney is for Babies'...usually nothing severe, just enough to frustrate the toddler, and then me!

@Mariah - My Mom is here all the time and I often feel badly that she is here too much; often from 8am - 8pm, Monday - Friday and sometimes she helps on the weekends. I do get a ballet class in every once in a while which seems to help!

Everyone, thanks for the advice!! I am hoping that when DH is home this week, he can take over. That will help a little