My sister just lost her twins.....

Missitta · #1 June 21st, 2011, 04:08 PM

She was 30 weeks along. Went in an hour ago and they had both passed. Identical twin girls.

This sucks!!!! I don't know what to do for her. She lives 800 miles away. I have been checking airline prices to fly out there right now and I don't know how we can swing it. We don't even know what hospital she is at.

What the heck do I do for her?

mommydiva · #2 June 21st, 2011, 04:37 PM

I am so sorry for your sister's and family's loss.

Thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

hilachu · #3 June 21st, 2011, 04:40 PM

Oh no!
I am so sorry to hear. Thoughts and prayers are with your sister and family. So sad.

jrsygurl4life · #4 June 21st, 2011, 04:44 PM

I don't even know what to say. ((HUGS)) That is so traumatic and she will need lots of support during these next few months/years of mourning. All you can do is make she she knows you are available (i.e. phone, skype, snail mail, etc.) for when she is ready to process this with someone.

KMH · #5 June 21st, 2011, 04:51 PM

How awful! I don't know what you can do other than tell you that you love her. If you can't go now, maybe you can get tickets to go in a few weeks (they'll be much cheaper if you book ahead). When you suffer a loss, you get a lot of immediate support, but then everyone goes back to their normal lives. She might feel really alone when that happens, and you could be there then to give her support.

birdblue · #6 June 21st, 2011, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KMH

How awful! I don't know what you can do other than tell you that you love her. If you can't go now, maybe you can get tickets to go in a few weeks (they'll be much cheaper if you book ahead). When you suffer a loss, you get a lot of immediate support, but then everyone goes back to their normal lives. She might feel really alone when that happens, and you could be there then to give her support.

This is a good idea.

I am so sorry for your sister, and for you, and your whole family.

Missitta · #7 June 21st, 2011, 06:02 PM

Thanks guys. I told her I would do whatever she needed and told my DH I was going to fly out, regardless of the cost, if she told me she needed me. Things might be tight but I would overdraw my account if I needed to if she needed me. I can't even begin to fathom how horrible this is. Hopefully between me and my other 5 siblings, we can work out to be available for whatever she needs.

rachel_anne · #8 June 21st, 2011, 08:35 PM

Im so sorry! I cant even imagine receiving such devastating news. I'll be keeping your family in my prayers.

mrsjl · #9 June 21st, 2011, 08:54 PM

how heartbreaking, I am so sorry. I don't even have any idea how to be there for her, but my goodness I am so sad.

do they have a reason of why they passed?

noworries · #10 June 21st, 2011, 09:27 PM

The one thing I was really afraid of when I lost Eli was that he would be forgotten. So, the biggest thing I can tell you is to remember, send a card on the one month anniversary, remember their birthday, remember them on holidays, etc. Talk about them by name, let your sister know that however she is feeling is ok. It's ok to break down, it's ok to cry, scream, etc., and it's also ok to laugh again and feel happy. When I started feeling happy again I felt like I was betraying Eli somehow. Let her talk about her babies without making her feel awkward. Just listen.
I am so very sorry for her loss.
I really liked a couple of necklaces that I got after we lost Eli. One was a locket that I keep his pictures in and one was a necklace from this company Miscarriage Jewelry, Baby Loss Memorial Bracelets and Sympathy Gifts. I really liked being able to wear something that reminded me of him every day.
And here's a good website that describes what some good things to say are and what not to say. What do I say after the loss of baby or pregnancy miscarriage

noworries · #11 June 21st, 2011, 09:34 PM

Oh, and also, encourage her to find a grief support group for people who have had stillbirths. Two that I know of that I believe are country wide are SHARE and Compassionate Friends. SHARE is for people who have had miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss and Compassionate Friends are for anyone who has lost a child, no matter the age. I know that our hospitals here have groups like this so she might be able to check with her hospital.

krsnow · #12 June 21st, 2011, 10:10 PM

I'm so sorry! Will keep your family in my thoughts & prayers - *Hugs*

noworries · #13 June 21st, 2011, 11:26 PM

I just thought of one more thing. If she has not already given birth, make sure she knows about this organization. One thing I hear a lot from moms of stillborn babies is that they wish they had more pictures....and a family picture. Home - Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Juliebird18 · #14 June 21st, 2011, 11:34 PM

I am so sorry for your sister and her family. I hope you can be there for her.

Irish_Wristwatch · #15 June 22nd, 2011, 04:43 AM

oh gosh! That is just so heartbreaking and unfair, I am so sorry, I will keep your sister and family in my thoughts

amhk · #16 June 22nd, 2011, 04:50 AM

I am so sorry. I am so sad to hear this.

krislati · #17 June 22nd, 2011, 05:32 AM

That is so unfair, I am so sorry for your sisters loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Celine · #18 June 22nd, 2011, 06:34 AM

So sorry to hear that. It's such a tragedy. I will keep her and her DH in my thoughts & prayers.

sunshyne57 · #19 June 22nd, 2011, 07:10 AM

I am so so sorry! My heart is breaking for your sister and the rest of your family

I will keep everyone in my thoughts.

Missitta · #20 June 22nd, 2011, 07:46 AM

Thank you girls!!!

Thank you especially no worries! I appreciate you sharing with me. It's really nice to hear from someone who has gone through this and is able to share things that helped and didn't help. The jewelry is a great idea! She loves jewelry so that would be especially nice.