[Jule'sMomInOR]

Last night, I was trying to get Juliana to bed by 8:30 but also put her down groggy but awake. After multiple tries, she kept waking up. At 10:00, I was exhausted and frustrated because I needed to be up at 5 am and I knew I would be woken up multiple times all night. DH decided to take a turn at getting her to sleep. When he did, he laid her down on the spare crib mattress we have downstairs and came up to tell me that he wanted to do an experiment where I slept upstairs and he slept downstairs with her. He slept on the couch near her mattress. I was worried about it and I didn't get any more sleep, since I insisted on sleeping with the door open so I could hear everything, but I did agree to go along with the experiment.

Apparently it was a rough night for DH. He did give her about 3 oz of milk, which is much less than she normally takes at night. He has come to the conclusion that she's not waking up out of hunger, but just wakes up and can't settle herself back to sleep and needs someone (Mom with nipples is preferred but Dad works almost as well) to help her. I think part of the problem was that she was sleeping in an unusual place. I wish we had done the experiment with me sleeping in another room and the two of them sleeping in our room as usual. I don't think we'll be repeating the experiment again any time soon because DH is really tired today and lack of sleep can be a contributing factor to seizures. I guess this just reiterates our need to set her down groggy but awake, and we're already working on that. I'm thinking that night weaning may not solve the problem, although certainly if she's not expecting milk she may be more willing to try to settle herself. We'll be attacking the problem from both sides but focusing on helping her settle herself to sleep for now.

[Daffodil]

I think we are having the exact same problem. She doesn't know how to go back to sleep without her sleep association, which is the bottle. But at the same time, I think something is wrong with her (since she is waking up screaming) so I don't want to confront this issue full-force right now until I find out what's wrong.

[Vincent'sMommy]

I'm glad we're not the only one with similar problems. We cut out night time feedings a long time ago but he can not settle himself when he wakes up. I read about half of the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers last night and am hoping to finish soon and make an actual plan. I already have several ideas in place, but this book is really helpful. Even last night I just did a couple things differently and he didn't wake up crying at all for the first 5 hours in his crib, which was great, even if I couldn't sleep myself. I'm wondering if I was having trouble sleeping because I'm used to him being right next to me. Anyway, I'm hoping we can make a plan soon and help him learn to get himself to sleep and settle himself again when he wakes up, even if it takes several months.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by Vincent'sMommy

I'm glad we're not the only one with similar problems. We cut out night time feedings a long time ago but he can not settle himself when he wakes up. I read about half of the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers last night and am hoping to finish soon and make an actual plan. I already have several ideas in place, but this book is really helpful. Even last night I just did a couple things differently and he didn't wake up crying at all for the first 5 hours in his crib, which was great, even if I couldn't sleep myself. I'm wondering if I was having trouble sleeping because I'm used to him being right next to me. Anyway, I'm hoping we can make a plan soon and help him learn to get himself to sleep and settle himself again when he wakes up, even if it takes several months.

I totally have the same problem! Literally it took me until Juliana was 8 months old until I could sleep without her sleeping next to me, no matter how exhausted I was. I even still have trouble. Last night should have been a big break for me, but I got no more sleep than usual! The only difference is that DH didn't sleep either. At least now he knows how I feel. LOL.

We should compare notes and help each other figure out what works. I'd love to hear about the changes you made that helped Vincent sleep last night.

Originally Posted by Daffodil

I think we are having the exact same problem. She doesn't know how to go back to sleep without her sleep association, which is the bottle. But at the same time, I think something is wrong with her (since she is waking up screaming) so I don't want to confront this issue full-force right now until I find out what's wrong.

I think teething and other issues can definitely magnify the problem. Each time they get to the end of a sleep cycle, if they're hurting, hungry, or uncomfortable they're more likely to wake up. Babies that can settle themselves may only wake up for a few seconds and be back to sleep before we notice. Others, like ours, need nursing/bottle/paci/lovey/whatever. I guess we just need to gradually wean them from the comfort item. I don't think it will be a quick process.

ETA: I think Juliana has been going through some sort of teething for all but about 6 weeks since she was 6 months old. That's why I've always put off doing anything to help her sleep. I'm going to try to still put her down groggy but away as long as she's not teething horribly.

[Vincent'sMommy]

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

We should compare notes and help each other figure out what works. I'd love to hear about the changes you made that helped Vincent sleep last night.

I think the biggest thing about last night, which probably won't help you, is that I just turned off the TV. I seriously have issues with falling asleep without a TV on - which is probably the biggest reason I didn't fall asleep last night until Vincent was in bed with me.

The other things I did last night were give him a small snack right before bed - maybe 1/3 piece of toast with a little peanut butter and some milk. Previously he wasn't eating or drinking anything before bed. And then I put a small lamp in the bedroom and we read our bedtime stories in bed in dim lighting instead of the bright living room like we usually do. He fell asleep pretty quickly while I was reading and I waited until he was asleep to put him in his crib. He woke up right after I put him down but after he fell back to sleep he slept for 5 hours without crying.

I'm going to work up a sleep plan using the sheets from the no-cry sleep solution website. I'm really going to try to focus on a regular nap schedule and bedtime routine and an earlier, consistent bedtime (last night he went to sleep at 10:45 and tonight it was 7:30). As far as the night waking, I'm not really sure what to do. I don't know why he always cries when he wakes up and can't settle himself. She lists a ton of reasons for night waking in the book and several of them could be part of his problem, I guess.

He needs a pacifier when he wakes up but he also needs to be comforted. I'm not about to take his pacifier away at night - although this book had a good suggestion for how to do that when he's a little older that I might try. She suggests making a special book to read at night showing the toddler as a baby and how they've grown up and at the end it shows the goal for whatever you are wanting to change (weaning from nighttime nursing or a pacifier or whatever). She said she did it with her son to stop his night time nursing and it helped, but obviously that wouldn't work at this point.

So I'm hoping that adjusting his sleeping and waking patterns to be more consistent so he gets more sleep will help him sleep better at night. And I guess the rest of it is just trial and error and patiently trying different things and giving them time to work. I'm hoping to get him attached to a lovey at some point so that when he wakes up he will have something comforting and familiar so maybe he won't cry right away or always need me immediately.