What are your thoughts? Haha. No kids allowed!

sfarrow3 · #1 July 27th, 2011, 03:14 AM

The no-kids-allowed movement is spreading - Parenting on Shine

The comments are even better! A must read!

#2 July 27th, 2011, 04:57 AM

My opinion is we have a lot of "those" children that do not know how to behave in public. Now, I try to teach my children how to behave, and yes there have been a few incidents where Kaitlyn threw a tantrum in public but really she is pretty darn good out in public, now, at home was a different story when she was younger. She always saved her tantrums for the parking lot or at home...ha ha. As a first time mother I had my bf to look up to and learned a lot of "what no to do's" from seeing her struggle and her dd misbehave in public.
Ive learned in stores stay far far far away from the toy isle. We never visited the toy area unless it was a goal to buy it. To this day at age 4 she's never threw a tantrum for a toy. Also, riding in a cart was.a.must. No option to do differently. I always try to park next to a cart corral so I can put her in while outside, in case she was to want to not ride she could scream outside...lol.
As soon as I had Kaileigh she began walking in stores. The rules is -hand on the cart or we dont move-. I remember one time she took her hand off the cart in Kroger's, and refused to hold the cart so I stood there for 10 minutes until she put her hand back on the cart. It was a lesson for her, because even now, she still holds the cart. It's just a rule. I also know to pick my battles and if it would cause a big scene think about what would make her happy but not give into her.

Restaurants, I always ask for a booth on the end. SO I can put Kaitlyn on the end booth so if she was to stand up there is no one behind her to bother.

I know I just got off subject some but I see kids being load and obnoxious all the time, and it really does makes others mad. Once again, Im not saying my kids havnt done it, but I know I dont like seeing other kids do it so I try to reason with my own and make up rules so everyone will be happy.

shockandawe · #3 July 27th, 2011, 05:19 AM

Here's the thing. This really all became an issue when everyone started being the police over how other people discipline their own children in public.

In now way am I condoning one way of discipline over another, and in no way is this to say that abuse of any kind is tolerable. BUT, if parents weren't afraid to yell, or lightly spank their children to correct their behaviour in the moment when it needed correcting, we perhaps wouldn't be seeing such relaxed approaches to child rearing and discipline. My own issues with people and their misbehaved children in public places relates not to the child itself, but to the lack of apparent interest by the parent in immediate correction or enforcement of rules like Sharon outlined.

Ultimately, if we want a society to be afunctional place in 20 years, you have to be able to take your kids out into the world and socialize them within that culture. Give them practice and make them familiar with what the social norms are. It's the parents who aren't willing or able to commit to enforcing the rules of social etiquette who are causing this problem. And widespread bans just exacerbate the issue. On the flip side, I'm totally in favour of specialized vacation retreats that either cater to child friendly or adult friendly activities. When on vacation with DH, if I saw families with young kids in an otherwise non-child oriented resort, it always stung. Not because of an impact to me, but because it just seemed like unreasonable levels of torture for a kid to suffer. I still can't bring myself to consider a family vacation at a resort that isn't full of child friendly activities and able to provide short escapes too. I believe Disney is now my best and most expensive friend.

Maggie is great (so far) in public too. But you best believe we already have rules. She gets squirrely and we're outta there - wherever that may be. And even now, I rarely ever go down the toy aisles. Though walmart makes that tough because they put toys right in with all the baby stuff too. Regardless. She goes to restaurants of all kinds with very few exceptions with us. And I try never to leave a huge mess behind. At least I make an effot to clean some of it up for the wait staff. All I can do is model the behaviour and enforce that she follow the same kind of rules. But I can't do that if I'm never able to expose her to those situations.

mommytokem · #4 July 27th, 2011, 06:43 AM

Having four kids with the oldest being 6, the older three know we have very strict rules for when we are out in public and if they don't follow those rules there are consequences. If they are outright terrible we leave and, yes we do spank, they get spankings when we get home or sometimes we even make a visit to the bathroom to take care of the issue. Also if we are out getting something in particular, like the other day we were going to get a wading pool, if they do not behave we do not go home with that product. They also love the bookstore so if they don't behave we don't go home with any books.

With that said my kids are usually very well behaved out in public, we only have to rarely remind them how to behave. With Noah we've only had one incident where he screamed while we were eating at a restaurant I just picked him up and took him to the bathroom and changed his diaper and by the time we got back everyone was done and we were able to leave.

I also remember with my oldest ds pulling off into the clothing section at Walmart and making him sit on the floor until he was done with a tantrum, they usually only lasted about 30 seconds then and he was like 2. He learned really quickly not to do that.

As far as kids on air planes we've flown with our kids several times over the last couple of years and always get complimented on how well behaved our children are. We were on one flight though where a mom could not get her kid to stop throwing a tantrum they couldn't even bribe him with cookies, that was ridiculous and even I was getting annoyed with the kid.

Lilly Bella · #5 July 27th, 2011, 07:18 AM

can i drop my kids off somewhere and go to a place that doesn't allow kids

shockandawe · #6 July 27th, 2011, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilly bella

can i drop my kids off somewhere and go to a place that doesn't allow kids

Ya - It's called hubby's lap!

I'll join you! Come on girls, it's Ladies weekend!!! (in my head all I can see is Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble tearing off barefoot in their stone car).

Hollybear · #7 July 27th, 2011, 08:16 AM

I think it's getting a bit ridiculous, although I can almost understand why they would ban babies in the 1st class cabin on international flights, but then again you can't lap ride a baby on an international flight---so they pay full price for a seat that costs thousands and thousands of dollars, I mean how many babies are REALLY riding in a 1st class cabin anyway? LOL

When I fly to Texas I pay a tiny bit more for extra legroom and I am always right by 1st class, the only thing dividing us is a sheer curtain....so if Sophie is wailing, they are going to hear me

(http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/u...84/sftoiah.jpg) <---showing you my seating chart, I ALWAYS have that seat.

I think it's stupid to have "child free hours" at a grocery store, as if scheduling a shopping trip with a baby isn't hard enough, sometimes there are just last minute things you need---regardless of what time it is.

I personally think by excluding babies/kids from things, they are just going to be WORSE when they are allowed to do them. Sean and I have been bringing Sophie out since she was 5 days old, probably would have sooner had I had an easier delivery. We never have a problem with her because she's just so used to it---I mean she's been on 20 different flights and she's only a year old.

In a way I feel like the child-free stuff is almost like the places that tell nursing mothers they can't nurse there, but this just applies to ALL babies. However, if the business wants to do that---fine---I think they are putting a red target on their back. I feel like there are more people who are tolerant and understanding than people who aren't, I personally think it will offend more people than impress.

::steps off soapbox::

Daffodil · #8 July 27th, 2011, 08:22 AM

My hubby upgraded our seats to business class for our trip to Atlanta and *I* feel really bad about that because I think it sucks to have a baby on a flight especially if you are paying even more to be comfortable.

I think there should be toddler/infant free flights. I would defninately pay a premium for those. Of course right now it wouldn't do me any good, but when the kids are older, it would be so worth it.

Anyway, my point is, kids can be annoying, I think its fine if they are banned from certain things.

sfarrow3 · #9 July 27th, 2011, 08:44 AM

Well...I agree with Shannon and Becky about kids and the lack of discipline. My rules in a grocery store/store is the EXACT same as Shannon's to the T! There is no exception unless your leg is about to fall off or both your arms are broken! hahahaha... Caden has thrown fits in public, but he knows his momma is crazy and would completely embarrass him! I definately don't give in when it comes bad behavior and rewards (i.e ice cream, treats, fun places) I honestly don't see a problem with banning kids from attending certain things, but the grocery store?? lol

SarahBethsMommy · #10 July 27th, 2011, 08:48 AM

I think we should start a movement to have more KID-FRIENDLY things like flights and restaurants and movies. I mean, then I wouldn't have people looking at me like I don't discipline my kids enough when my autistic son is having a meltdown because there is a ceiling fan in the restaurant where we are eating and there is nothing I can do about it. (True story)

I understand people not wanting to fly with kids. I get that, totally. But we can't just NOT fly because we have kids. So why not offer things like kid-friendly flights.

It isn't always about lack of discipline. We have a LOT of special kids in society today who aren't typical and can't be dealt with in typical ways. It is frustrating for the parents, frustrating for the kids and frustrating for everyone around us. We can't change who our kids are, but we also can't pull them completely out of society either.

Hollybear · #11 July 27th, 2011, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahBethsMommy

I think we should start a movement to have more KID-FRIENDLY things like flights and restaurants and movies. I mean, then I wouldn't have people looking at me like I don't discipline my kids enough when my autistic son is having a meltdown because there is a ceiling fan in the restaurant where we are eating and there is nothing I can do about it. (True story)

I understand people not wanting to fly with kids. I get that, totally. But we can't just NOT fly because we have kids. So why not offer things like kid-friendly flights.

It isn't always about lack of discipline. We have a LOT of special kids in society today who aren't typical and can't be dealt with in typical ways. It is frustrating for the parents, frustrating for the kids and frustrating for everyone around us. We can't change who our kids are, but we also can't pull them completely out of society either.

Exactly!

sfarrow3 · #12 July 27th, 2011, 08:54 AM

^^^^^I agree!

Daffodil · #13 July 27th, 2011, 08:58 AM

Well, that's what I mean, have some flights for kids and some (paying a higher premium) without.

SarahBethsMommy · #14 July 27th, 2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffodil

Well, that's what I mean, have some flights for kids and some (paying a higher premium) without.

I TOTALLY agree. And if you don't want to pay a higher price, stop b******* about our kids.

shockandawe · #15 July 27th, 2011, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahBethsMommy

I think we should start a movement to have more KID-FRIENDLY things like flights and restaurants and movies. I mean, then I wouldn't have people looking at me like I don't discipline my kids enough when my autistic son is having a meltdown because there is a ceiling fan in the restaurant where we are eating and there is nothing I can do about it. (True story)

I understand people not wanting to fly with kids. I get that, totally. But we can't just NOT fly because we have kids. So why not offer things like kid-friendly flights.

It isn't always about lack of discipline. We have a LOT of special kids in society today who aren't typical and can't be dealt with in typical ways. It is frustrating for the parents, frustrating for the kids and frustrating for everyone around us. We can't change who our kids are, but we also can't pull them completely out of society either.

I understand this - and I empathize with you entirely. In no way were my comments intended to lump in special needs situations, but your statement illustrates my point exactly. My only intent was to say, if people weren't afraid of a million people watching how they discipline their children and being dumb about reporting minor things to authorities, that this particular issue wouldn't be so out of control, and the bans probably wouldn't even be an topic of discussion today.

In my view, you shouldn't have to have special flights, special restaurants or special movies. In my view, other people should just mind their own d a m n business and be helpful rather than snotty or even half interested in what our kids are doing.

sfarrow3 · #16 July 27th, 2011, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shockandawe

I understand this - and I empathize with you entirely. In no way were my comments intended to lump in special needs situations, but your statement illustrates my point exactly. My only intent was to say, if people weren't afraid of a million people watching how they discipline their children and being dumb about reporting minor things to authorities, that this particular issue wouldn't be so out of control, and the bans probably wouldn't even be an topic of discussion today.

In my view, you shouldn't have to have special flights, special restaurants or special movies. In my view, other people should just mind their own d a m n business and be helpful rather than snotty or even half interested in what our kids are doing.

SarahBethsMommy · #17 July 27th, 2011, 09:48 AM

I wasn't offended by what anyone said. I just think often we as a society jump to conclusions thinking that a child is not disciplined well if that child is behaving badly. I'd RATHER have places I could take my son and not have to be concerned at all that people would be bothered. I don't go out looking to bother other folks, you know? I just want him to experience life too.

For instance, our movie theater does special screenings in the mornings (at 10:30) on Saturdays of first run movies. These are specially for autistic and sensory issues kids and adults. They turn up the lights a bit and turn down the sound a bit. And the kids run around, and flap, and jump, and vocalize, and no one cares and everyone has a great time. We also have a hair salon specially for kids. It is geared to kids, they do CUTE haircuts and know how to deal with them. They even have a day for sensory kids to come too. I wish there were more things like that, you know?

Arei_720 · #18 July 27th, 2011, 11:31 AM

Hopefully the child-free shopping hours fall after 8pm and really, how often do you have to hear a child throwing a fit or crying? Have I been lucky?

Hollybear · #19 July 27th, 2011, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arei_720

Hopefully the child-free shopping hours fall after 8pm and really, how often do you have to hear a child throwing a fit or crying? Have I been lucky?

LOL I was thinking the same earlier, I really haven't seen that many kids throw a fit at the grocery store! I really don't see that many kids at the grocery store I don't think, or maybe I just go at random times? No clue!

Hollybear · #20 July 27th, 2011, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahBethsMommy

I wasn't offended by what anyone said. I just think often we as a society jump to conclusions thinking that a child is not disciplined well if that child is behaving badly. I'd RATHER have places I could take my son and not have to be concerned at all that people would be bothered. I don't go out looking to bother other folks, you know? I just want him to experience life too.

For instance, our movie theater does special screenings in the mornings (at 10:30) on Saturdays of first run movies. These are specially for autistic and sensory issues kids and adults. They turn up the lights a bit and turn down the sound a bit. And the kids run around, and flap, and jump, and vocalize, and no one cares and everyone has a great time. We also have a hair salon specially for kids. It is geared to kids, they do CUTE haircuts and know how to deal with them. They even have a day for sensory kids to come too. I wish there were more things like that, you know?

ITA, also not all special needs kids look the same, what I mean is that you have no idea when you see a kid throwing a tantrum if he's special needs or if he's just having a "bad day".

There has only been one time that I have seen a kid misbehaving and I couldn't wonder if it was the lack of discipline---when Sophie was a few months old we were flying to Texas and this woman was letting her child stand on the armrests of the plane during turbulence when we were all supposed to be in our seatbelts. I mean he seriously could have broken his neck or a bone or seriously injured himself. He was tall enough that his head touched the overhead compartments but he had to duck a little....so he was a "big kid". He was already bouncing off the wall, so she proceeded to feed him CHOCOLATE....which he had everywhere....then she ordered a glass of red wine.

I don't think I even have to finish the story for you to know where that wine went.....so yeah, I totally blame the parent there.