What's your MOMMY guilt?

sfarrow3 · #1 August 2nd, 2011, 07:59 AM

I'd like to think we all have this (maybe I'm wrong??), and there is always something we are feeling mommy guilt over. For some reason today I'm having ALOT of mommy guilt? What's your mommy guilt today?

I feel I work TOO much (even though I work 40 hrs a week) Im just feeling really down about not being there for them like I should. Like alot of London's milestones were accomplished and witnessed my daycare staff!! I just hope one day my children don't look back over thier childhood and feel somewhat slighted becasue I was a working momma!

But then apart of me says "It is what it is and there is no reason to feel guilty" , but there are times when I just get down about it..ya know??

#2 August 2nd, 2011, 09:20 AM

That is sort of my mommy guilt but it's with Kaitlyn.

I feel so bad because I have tons of pics of Kaileigh, tons of video, everything documented, and get to go and do more things with Kaileigh now that I dont work.

I Look at Kaitlyn's and she didnt get near as much of my time because I worked 45 or more hours a week. She doesnt have a ton of pics, what little video's I do have (that I didnt loose on a disk) are horrible, crappy quality. She even only has like eight 1st birthday pics that are blurry, yet Kaileigh has 150 good pic's.

I just hope Kaitlyn doesnt hold it against me some day. I do everything equal now, but from about age 3 down, Kaitlyn doesnt have a lot of what Kaileigh had.

Wifenmomalwys · #3 August 2nd, 2011, 09:46 AM

My mommy guilt is that that I don't have picture books for Kaylee. I started doing them all on cds when the older two were younger. That's where all of Kaylee's are.

Also, I haven't kept up with Kaylee's baby book like I should be.

Jule'sMomInOR · #4 August 2nd, 2011, 09:47 AM

You know, I don't feel mommy guilt about much. I basically break my neck to keep Juliana happy and I work from home, so I still see her a lot even though I work about 40 hours. And l've just gotten plain lucky that her first crawling and first steps happened when I was around to see. I do feel wife guilt for neglecting my husband and house, and employee guilt for neglecting my job and going from a career super star to mediocre employee. As women, we just can't win. I think the expectations are there for us to be perfect at everything and it's just not realistic. I think it's best to just recognize that we can't be perfect and please everyone and accept it for what it is.

jessanddane · #5 August 2nd, 2011, 10:18 AM

Mine is tv. I try to keep it off all day when I'm home with Emily, but as soon as dh gets home he turns it on. Even if we are playing with her on the floor or in her room, he has it on. It makes me feel incredibly guilty, like she's being ignored.

Also, if I do anything except give her 1-on-1 attention (computer, phone, etc.) I feel like I'm ignoring her. It's been a struggle with this guilt while I've been ome with her this summer.

Daffodil · #6 August 2nd, 2011, 10:21 AM

I feel guilt that I'm on the internet so much. But when i put my computer away, I'm so bored!! LOL

I also have guilt that I didn't really bond with Arie until she was about 6 months old... its not major guilt because it just happened, but I have a feeling I will probably bond with the next baby right away.

bundle2baby · #7 August 2nd, 2011, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

You know, I don't feel mommy guilt about much. I basically break my neck to keep Juliana happy and I work from home, so I still see her a lot even though I work about 40 hours. And l've just gotten plain lucky that her first crawling and first steps happened when I was around to see. I do feel wife guilt for neglecting my husband and house, and employee guilt for neglecting my job and going from a career super star to mediocre employee. As women, we just can't win. I think the expectations are there for us to be perfect at everything and it's just not realistic. I think it's best to just recognize that we can't be perfect and please everyone and accept it for what it is.

^^this!!

Hollybear · #8 August 2nd, 2011, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

You know, I don't feel mommy guilt about much. I basically break my neck to keep Juliana happy and I work from home, so I still see her a lot even though I work about 40 hours. And l've just gotten plain lucky that her first crawling and first steps happened when I was around to see. I do feel wife guilt for neglecting my husband and house, and employee guilt for neglecting my job and going from a career super star to mediocre employee. As women, we just can't win. I think the expectations are there for us to be perfect at everything and it's just not realistic. I think it's best to just recognize that we can't be perfect and please everyone and accept it for what it is.

Ditto!

Although I do feel house and dog guilt---we've only been to the dog park a handful of times since Sophie was born. When we go hiking most of the time they have to stay behind...poor dogs, lol (Which sounds stupid I know, but my dogs were always my babies---I mean I totally considered them children!)

#9 August 2nd, 2011, 12:15 PM

I feel torn between my kids. Somedays I feel like G got a lot more of my time than C and the reverse on other days. Also, at this age G had me all to herself and we would go and do things just for her. Now I feel like we still do that and C just has to tag along to gymnastics and everything else...

dinamommy · #10 August 2nd, 2011, 12:27 PM

Oh, this is a part of my every day life. There isn't enough of me to go around. Now that I've picked up some crafting hobbies, it's even worse. I want to work on my projects, and play with my kids, and make awesome dinners, and keep up with the housework and garden, and volunteer at church and work, and.....well, you get the idea. Some area is suffering at one time or another. It's craziness.

*BabyMaMa* · #11 August 2nd, 2011, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sfarrow3

I feel I work TOO much (even though I work 40 hrs a week) Im just feeling really down about not being there for them like I should. Like alot of London's milestones were accomplished and witnessed my daycare staff!! I just hope one day my children don't look back over thier childhood and feel somewhat slighted becasue I was a working momma!

Seriously don't feel bad. Pretty much every milestone happened while I was at work (I only work 24hrs a week on the weekends) while DH was watching Leah. The good thing about milestones is that babies don't just do something ONE time

I have tons of mommy guilt about having to stop breastfeeding a 6 months. Leah stopped nursing at 4 months and would only take expressed BM. I finally couldn't take pumping anymore after 2 months of it. My LC and I think that she developed an aversion towards BF due to my overactive letdown. I could spray milk like crazy and pump about 13oz or more in one sitting. It was sick how much milk my body made. I guess my body could sense that I had a skinny baby

TxgirlinKy · #12 August 2nd, 2011, 05:28 PM

Mine varies from day to day...sometimes it's just not being there enough for Kaiden, then it's not giving enough attention to my husband, then it's not giving individual attention to my step son, then it's not keeping the house clean...Really it's just never ending

alinne1026 · #13 August 2nd, 2011, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

You know, I don't feel mommy guilt about much. I basically break my neck to keep Juliana happy and I work from home, so I still see her a lot even though I work about 40 hours. And l've just gotten plain lucky that her first crawling and first steps happened when I was around to see. I do feel wife guilt for neglecting my husband and house, and employee guilt for neglecting my job and going from a career super star to mediocre employee. As women, we just can't win. I think the expectations are there for us to be perfect at everything and it's just not realistic. I think it's best to just recognize that we can't be perfect and please everyone and accept it for what it is.

Pretty much my words exactly! I also work from home and I'm blessed that I can come downstairs and see them whenever I get a chance and still get a paycheck.

I still feel guilty that I don't get to spend enough time with them and that I am frequently frazzled trying to juggle both worlds and probably more grumpty than they deserve. I don't get the car ride home to 'decompress' and ease from work to Mommy mode. I also feel guilty that I don't treat my kids equally. My oldest has told me many times that Kellen is the favorite. I just tell her, 'he's the baby' but I know I could try harder to be sweeter to the girls...it's a no win situation...someone always feels slighted and I often end the day thinking of whose childhood I ruined that particular day with my wrath.

ElizabethS · #14 August 2nd, 2011, 07:22 PM

I have LOTS of mommy guilt. #1>Having to work. Missing a lot, not being here....EVEN THOUGH I know providing for them is of utmost importance and they will be thankful as they get older and understand more.

#2>Not having enough time with them. Or being too tired to sometimes put 100% effort and attention into them on evenings when I work late and have a really long day at work

#3>Not having more $$. Wish I could give them everything but at the same time know that I provide well for them, they want for nothing. And spoiling them probably isn't a good idea anyways lol!!!