Forum: July - August 2010 Playroom
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August 4th, 2011, 06:42 AM
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This question will be about the Duggars. Most people know who they are, if not you can check out the link I added.
Their oldest son Josh and wife Anna saved their first kiss for their wedding day. So not only did they save sex until marriage they saved that first kiss too.
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What is your thoughts on saving the first kiss for marriage? If you could go back in time would you do that?
*This is about saving your first kiss for marriage, not sex. Also, please be respectful to everyone's opinions on this topic. This is not a debate, just your thoughts on it going to far or not.*
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August 4th, 2011, 06:56 AM
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Formerly PatienceMichele
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Loo-uh-vull, KY
Posts: 4,988
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I'm very liberal but I definitely understand why some people choose to do that based on their beliefs. And it seems to work for them so I don't really think that it's too outrageous or anything. Although, I personally would not choose to do so.
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August 4th, 2011, 07:03 AM
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Married Life Co-host
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,610
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vincent'sMommy
I'm very liberal but I definitely understand why some people choose to do that based on their beliefs. And it seems to work for them so I don't really think that it's too outrageous or anything. Although, I personally would not choose to do so.
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August 4th, 2011, 07:15 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,627
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I'm going to be honest..I'm flabbergasted that a couple can go without kissing right up until they are married! I love the Duggar's and all - think the kids are great, but there is seriously no way I could do that.
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August 4th, 2011, 07:19 AM
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No way I could do that. BUT I actually find it interesting. I mean, I think it's sweet and all, but I guess I'd rather try before I buy  LOL
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August 4th, 2011, 08:02 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally-Mac
I'm going to be honest..I'm flabbergasted that a couple can go without kissing right up until they are married! I love the Duggar's and all - think the kids are great, but there is seriously no way I could do that.
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Ditto. Plenty will disagree with me but I think sexual compatibility is important to any marriage. I couldn't imagine getting married without having sex first, much less kissing.
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August 4th, 2011, 08:18 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,225
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR
Ditto. Plenty will disagree with me but I think sexual compatibility is important to any marriage. I couldn't imagine getting married without having sex first, much less kissing.
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I totally agree, I kind of think the "not kissing" was a little silly honestly.
OT - I want one of the Bates girls to marry a Duggar, lol
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August 4th, 2011, 08:38 AM
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Mommy to Boys!
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: California
Posts: 1,098
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I think it's weird...I like the Duggars but honestly there aren't many today that save sex for marriage much less kissing. I know I couldn't do it either
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I am a Jesus loving, baby wearing, picky vaxing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, cloth-diapering, attachment style parenting, stay at home mommy
Kimberley, wife to Rodney, momma to
Raven Alexander-12
Aidyen Quest-15 months
TTC our 3rd miracle
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August 4th, 2011, 08:47 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,043
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I actually did save both sex AND kissing until I was married. Yup, my first kiss was age 27.
I grew up with different values then most americans so in this respect I can totally see where the Duggars are coming from. I DON'T think its necessary to have sex or kiss before marriage (obviously), I just think society today is so used to that its hard for some people to imagine it.
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August 4th, 2011, 08:49 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,846
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DH and I kissed before we dated, but once we started being serious and started really getting closer to God we decided to stop kissing until we were married. I wish I could say it was our FIRST kiss on that wedding day, but we didn't kiss for over 4 years before our wedding. I thought it was completely and utterly magical to kiss him on that day knowing he was only mine forever.
However, I do not think that is for everyone and wouldn't ever judge anyone one way or another. For me, kissing lead to other things and it made life much more complicated. I wanted to just be able to focus on learning all I could about him and growing to love HIM, not physically but in every other way. Because if we are all serious with ourselves, the physical is such a SMALL part of our relationships and eventually it can fade. There has a to be a lot more to it.
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August 4th, 2011, 10:52 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahBethsMommy
However, I do not think that is for everyone and wouldn't ever judge anyone one way or another. For me, kissing lead to other things and it made life much more complicated. I wanted to just be able to focus on learning all I could about him and growing to love HIM, not physically but in every other way. Because if we are all serious with ourselves, the physical is such a SMALL part of our relationships and eventually it can fade. There has a to be a lot more to it.
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Agreed about not judging others. I just know its not right for me. But I mean, even Jim-Bob and Michele kissed before marriage and that obviousy didn't hurt them at all.
And ditto about it leading to other things...I think THAT is really the reason some people avoid kissing. Its not the act of kissing itself, its what it could lead to- and I know a lot of people think sex outside of marriage is ok, but if you value sex as exclusive to marriage then you would want to protect that.
And ditto about the physical aspect...like one of my professors at college would say, "sex is the easy part" of marriage. Except when you have a kid sleeping between you, LOL.
Last edited by Daffodil; August 4th, 2011 at 10:56 AM.
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August 4th, 2011, 11:40 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,612
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I like their whole philosophy on dating, or lack thereof. I actually don't think we'll be allowing dating in the traditional sense for our kids while they are in high school. The whole dating thing is silly and dangerous to a young person's heart, if you ask me. These kids try to "play" grown ups when they really aren't mature enough for everything that goes with it. I already talk to Tyrael about all this and she's only seven. She comes home from school telling me who "loves" who and who is who's girlfriend or boyfriend. Even at her age, she feels bad when her friends pair off and then don't want to play with her anymore. I tell her that every time you give a piece of your heart away, you can't get it back. It's important to keep as much of your heart to give to your future spouse as you can. As for the kissing question specifically, I did kiss a few people before I was married, but I'm not glad about any of those kisses. I wish Wes was the only person I had ever kissed.
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August 4th, 2011, 12:10 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: GA
Posts: 1,520
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To each their own :  : I couldn't do it and I think it is a bit extreme, but if that is what they wanted to do, then kudos to them.
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August 4th, 2011, 02:05 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 2,727
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If it works for them, then whatever. I think it's silly. Mike & I were together for 2 years before we got married & had lived together for over a year. Personally, I wanted to make sure we weren't still in the "infatuation stage" before we made it forever. I don't think it matters how many people you kiss before you're with your DH; I think what matters is the devotion AFTER you decide to be with him & him only. Of course, Mike & I don't do religion at all, so very different perspective.
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August 4th, 2011, 02:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinamommy
I like their whole philosophy on dating, or lack thereof. I actually don't think we'll be allowing dating in the traditional sense for our kids while they are in high school. The whole dating thing is silly and dangerous to a young person's heart, if you ask me. These kids try to "play" grown ups when they really aren't mature enough for everything that goes with it. I already talk to Tyrael about all this and she's only seven. She comes home from school telling me who "loves" who and who is who's girlfriend or boyfriend. Even at her age, she feels bad when her friends pair off and then don't want to play with her anymore. I tell her that every time you give a piece of your heart away, you can't get it back. It's important to keep as much of your heart to give to your future spouse as you can. As for the kissing question specifically, I did kiss a few people before I was married, but I'm not glad about any of those kisses. I wish Wes was the only person I had ever kissed.
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 to everything above.
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August 4th, 2011, 04:28 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaEliz
If it works for them, then whatever. I think it's silly. Mike & I were together for 2 years before we got married & had lived together for over a year. Personally, I wanted to make sure we weren't still in the "infatuation stage" before we made it forever. I don't think it matters how many people you kiss before you're with your DH; I think what matters is the devotion AFTER you decide to be with him & him only. Of course, Mike & I don't do religion at all, so very different perspective.
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Ditto. We were together 4 years before marriage and I think we were together maybe 3 days before we kissed. LOL. I can't imagine waiting 4 years or even 4 months. And it doesn't bother me at all what DH did before he met me.
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August 4th, 2011, 08:57 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaEliz
If it works for them, then whatever. I think it's silly. .
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Awww, really? I think its romantic!!  You know, like those historical romance novels... Of course in those, the girl has no experience but the guy has tons so he is amazing in bed.  So that's kinda sexist, but still...or was I the only one reading romance novels while everyone else was out getting some?
Anyway...yeah. I think its kinda romantic to wait, even for kisses. But I also think its romantic NOT to wait. So basically whatever floats your boat.
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August 4th, 2011, 09:01 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 947
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Each to their own really.
I wouldnt do it and Rick and i may not be together if it wasnt for our drunken kiss.
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