[sfarrow3]

What are your thoughts? What are your SO/DH thoughts?

[CutlassDiva]

DH and I are very much for learning early that you have to earn things you want in life....so if it is finishing your milk before being able to play, then it is one step closer to getting a job to be able to buy a car and pay insurance down the road.....

Yes to a extinct. We both got jobs at a very early age, but to keep the job we had to keep up our grades. So the benefit of good grades, lead to a job, which lead to money for the things we wanted. My mom always bought me the items I needed, and the car I wanted she went in half for me. Then my pager (no cell phone then) I bought with my own money and paid it, then my cell phone as I got older she bought it but I had to pay for it. Car insurance I only had to pay my mom $30 a month which wasnt much but it taught me about bills (I was on her plan so Im sure it was more but thats all I paid her) Same with him but he had to pay 100% for his own car and insurance. Dh had to pay for everything which I think was bad. His parents didnt buy him anything. He even had to buy his own school supplies, books, clothes. My mom did all that because as a parent she should.

I will do the same with the girls. If they are wanting a job for extra money, grades will come first. Then any "over the top" items they think they want, they will have to use their own money.

Dh and I both agree on how to do it.

[sfarrow3]

Somewhat. I had to work for everything I got and I tell you it was hard as h e l l trying to put myself through school and work full time. I also was trying to buy a car on my own. I want to at least meet them half way. My hubby and I do not agree on this though. He also worked for everything and feels our children should do the same thing. I also think it depends on the child. I was really responsible and could have really used a helping hand from my parents. My sister would have totally taking advantage of the situation if she could.

[shockandawe]

Originally Posted by sfarrow3

Somewhat. I had to work for everything I got and I tell you it was hard as h e l l trying to put myself through school and work full time. I also was trying to buy a car on my own. I want to at least meet them half way. My hubby and I do not agree on this though. He also worked for everything and feels our children should do the same thing. I also think it depends on the child. I was really responsible and could have really used a helping hand from my parents. My sister would have totally taking advantage of the situation if she could.

Both DH and I agree that she'll have to work to earn what she gets. I might be a bit more like my mom and grandma though. Make her work for things and earn them, and sneak her some surprises along the way when and if I can afford them.

I also agree that it starts early. And I'll admit that I've already tried with Maggie (ie. finish this and then we can do that...or trying to teach her how to put her toys away). She's obviously way too young to get on board with it, and I often leave frustrated that we're seeing such slow small baby steps. But eventually it will pay off. Every morning we wake up, while I'm making breakfast for her we have a talk. I ask her if she "had sweet dreams last night? Did she tell that prince on the white horse, thanks but no thanks, she's got her own ride?!" I want her to be entirely self sufficient, and able to live with a sense of pride and balance. Not keep looking for a free ride.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Dh and I will pay for Juliana's school. We figure she has to work to earn the grades to go, and we'll fork over the tuition money. As far as cars and other items, I feel like she needs to have some ownership. For example, we may buy the car but she has to pay for insurance and gas. I definitely want her to have a horrible high school job. I worked as a waitress for 2 years from age 17-19 and it was horrible, but it really made me appreciate the value of my eduction. However, like Shannon said, grades come first so that will be her #1 job.

[Daffodil]

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

Dh and I will pay for Juliana's school. We figure she has to work to earn the grades to go, and we'll fork over the tuition money. As far as cars and other items, I feel like she needs to have some ownership. For example, we may buy the car but she has to pay for insurance and gas. I definitely want her to have a horrible high school job. I worked as a waitress for 2 years from age 17-19 and it was horrible, but it really made me appreciate the value of my eduction. However, like Shannon said, grades come first so that will be her #1 job.

EXACTLY this. Like every single point.

Regarding the high school job, I also had a job that I hated...I think everyone NEEDS to work in the service industry. It really makes you appreciate the person serving you drinks, ringing up your merchandise, keeps you grounded. And it also made me realize that I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life (not that there's anything wrong with it, just that it wasn't for me) and made me work for my degree.

[starrsgirl]

Double agree with Mariah and Seema!! School is first!! And I will at least require a job over the summer. However, if E plays sports, then no job during the seasons. Instead there will be responsibilities around the house. I always hate when I run into a kid who doesn't play sports because they feel they need to make a few bucks. I think the value of sports out weighs the money at least during the season. Also, I earned way more in scholarships than I ever did/ would have working ( both academic and athletic $$).

[bundle2baby]

In terms of the high school years, I agree with Mariah & Seema. I also think you made a very good point Liz, if they are involved in sports (which I think is important for most kids). It depends on the individual child & what their strengths are during the high school years. That being said, in my opinion, all children need to have chores and learn the value of working for/earning things. During the preschool years, I think it's important to give age appropriate chores & begin to teach the basics of how money works. Progressing to the elementary years, with increasing household responsibilities & an allowance. My daughter (who is 7 1/2) learned a lot this past summer about earning spending money, saving, & giving. She has a daily list of chores/chore chart, which she has to complete in order to receive her weekly allowance. This helps curb the "can I have's" when we go to the store. I find myself naturally wanting to spoil them, but I know this won't teach them anything but an entitlement attitude later on.

[.s.o.p.h.]

I agree with Shannon.
Thats how I feel about everything.
Im pretty sure Rick and I are on the same page. We wanted to help Eva out but she definitely needs to learn to work for things as well.
Rick and I were brought up pretty differently. He worked for a lot of things and I was just given a lot of things, not with everything though.

We dont really need to pay for Eva's education once she gets to uni. You go to uni, have a hex debt and once you start working, you pay it off.
Im a little confused about what happens else where.
Do you have to pay up front or?

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by .s.o.p.h.

We dont really need to pay for Eva's education once she gets to uni. You go to uni, have a hex debt and once you start working, you pay it off.
Im a little confused about what happens else where.
Do you have to pay up front or?

Yep, although you can usually get student loans with low interest rates so it's pretty similar. It depends on your income level, though.

[starrsgirl]

Originally Posted by .s.o.p.h.

I agree with Shannon.
Thats how I feel about everything.
Im pretty sure Rick and I are on the same page. We wanted to help Eva out but she definitely needs to learn to work for things as well.
Rick and I were brought up pretty differently. He worked for a lot of things and I was just given a lot of things, not with everything though.

We dont really need to pay for Eva's education once she gets to uni. You go to uni, have a hex debt and once you start working, you pay it off.
Im a little confused about what happens else where.
Do you have to pay up front or?

I want to hear more about how hex debt works for you.

The problem here is that some schools are so expensive that if you took student loans for them, it would take you millions of years to pay them off. And often the payment is as big as a house payment! For example, if I didn't have scholarships or my parents to help out a tiny bit, I would have a $200,000 student loan! (my school was near 50k per year). That actually IS more than our current house. So we are saving everything we can for Emmett to at least lighten his load should he want to go/ get accepted to somewhere expensive.

[shockandawe]

We also have student loans in Canada, but because universities and colleges are government subsidized, and the loans are issued by the government, the burden is significantly less. School tuitions are still on the rise because they are still primarily owned and operated as independent entities, but nowhere near where they are for the American schools. An average annual tuition at a Canadian university is $2500 = $3000. So, when you leave, it's still a significant debt load, but nothing that can't be paid back once you start working full time.

I'm guessing that the hex debt works similarly.

[sethsmum]

Here you can get a student loan, sounds similiar to Aus Sophie. You get the loan from the government. We borrow the money and then they start taking it out your wages once you earn over something like £20,000. From this academic year, the student fees will be £9,000 in the UK, per year. That has gone up from about £3,200, due to our stupid coalition government.

I want my boys to have to work for things. I don't expect Toby to now obviously, he is way too young. But we try to show him the basics. We live by, you don't get pudding if you don't eat your main. You don't get presents for no reason. If you break something, you have to replace it yourself. If you are nasty, naughty, rude etc then there will be a consequence. If you do chores, help out etc you will be rewarded. I won't be giving pocket money unless they earn it. I won't be doing everything for them once I feel they are old enough to be able to do it themselves. Obviously I will still be there for them and look after them, but becoming independent is so important.

I want them to get a job from a young age, like 15/16. I think its important to realise that they need to have their own money and experience working life. My brother has lived with our Dad since Mum died, and has basically had everything handed to him on a plate. He is 21 and has never had a job. He hasn't even tried to get one until the last few weeks. He has a degree but can't do anything with it. He did criminology and wants to be a coppa but they aren't recruiting where he lives so he has to wait. He had to sign on the other week, and I just think its disgusting. He made my Dad fill in a job application for him. My Aunty offered to get him on the bank at one of the houses she manages, for people that have just come out of juvi or are mentally ill, and he hasn't done anything to follow it up. He doesn't do any of his own washing, cooking, he doesn't pay any petrol for the car he drives. I see him as an example of what I don't want my boys to turn out like.