How are your parenting roles split between you and dh? Do you do more then him, or him do more then you, or is it equal? How much of a help is he with changing diapers, up at night, feeding, baths, etc...

[shockandawe]

Good questions. It's been far more equal than it ever was since he is now home with her while looking for a new job. BUT, I still do more of the parenting.

He gets up with her about 5 days a week and makes her breakfast. Spends some time with her in the morning, before the nanny relieves him so he can job hunt for a couple hours. I still take care of lunch, dinner, bath times, teeth brushing, picking out her clothes and nap/bedtime routines. He does change diapers, whenever necessary, but I also still do any nightime wakings that come up for whatever reason.

[Lilly Bella]

It's pretty equal considering he has a job outside the home. He almost always does bath time, he has changed diapers from the very beginning, he gets up in the middle of the night when they are young with me, he takes them to the stores, bday parties, park by himself, he does laundry, cooks, cleans. he's a better wife than i am he can do sierra's hair (not great but hey...don't pick your battles lol) and make cute bento lunches. sure his choice of food isn't always stellar (cheetos? i don't even buy cheetos!) our discipline methods are the same and we are always on the same page.

i've been incredibly blessed. i know that and i thank God all the time for it. i know what it's like to have the other end of the spectrum and i'm so thankful my kids will never know that ♥

[Alison79]

It's about 60/40 with him doing a bit more of the parenting. He is home until 2:30pm and then goes to work. I work from about 7:30-4pm from home so the little kids take their nap after he leaves. So, he does breakfast and lunch everyday and works with Evelyn on school things. I do dinner, clean up and bath each night. I do preschool drop off and he picks up, I take the kids to German dance and he takes them to gymnastics. He changes diapers and helped with night feedings when possible (I nursed but he would change diaper/outfit if needed and often rocked the baby back to sleep).

He's an amazing hands on Dad. I can't imagine having soon to be 7 kids without all of his help!

GRR I had a whole d a m n response wrote and it didnt post!


ok, short version. Everything is pretty equal. He has always changed diapers, and fed them and got up with them at night as newborns. He lets me sleep in and gets up and makes them breakfast, and then we also alternate weekends if he is off on who gets to sleep in. When he's home at night we tag team putting them to bed and reading. He's not good at picking out clothes but I always pick out clothes the night before anyways so all he does it grab them and help dress them. He's not good with hair...but seeing as he is bald (by choice), I dont expect him to know much about hair...LMAO I do the laundry but he helps fold and put it away. He takes the girls to the park by himself, and takes Kaitlyn down to the station if he even has to do minor things. I do most of the cooking, but he is the griller (I dont know how to grill). In fact after DD1, I think he did more then me but that was because of my medical problems and PPD. Like Kristen said, I feel pretty blessed to have a dh who helps a lot.

[sfarrow3]

Its pretty equal and there is no other way it could be different considering we both work outside the home. That being said we actually have duties that we each do on a rotation. There are certain days he picks up the kids from daycare, cleans, laundry, baths and does bed time routine. DH even cooks on Tuesday and Thursdays...hahaha.. Our family functions some much better that way and I don't feel so overloaded due to what all has to be done. He is in school part time on top of his full time job so we just work around his changing schedules. I wanted to add that we together decide what we can do on certain days and we just stick to it. If I can't do something for some reason or vice versa we just communicate that and the other picks up the slack. We are a great team, I think.

Also he helps with naps and night time wakings..he has since day one! He always read the kids the bedtime story. I don't, because that's his daddy thing (he says) lol...

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Things are not equal. I'm the one up every 2 or 3 hours at night, still, because of nursing. I feel like the child care defaults to me and if he helps, it's considered a favor or something. He's very busy doing stuff around the house but sometimes I wish he would forget about the house and lawn being perfect! At least he's not sitting around playing video games or something.

What bothers me the most is that he tends to go about his business just like before he had a baby, assuming I'll take care of her, yet my days are so totally and completely different. For example, on the weekends if he wants to do a project he'll refuse to plan, and just go where he wants whenever he feels like it. When I ask him about his plans for the weekend, most of the time he hasn't thought them through and expects to just go with the flow. I keep trying to tell him, we both work full time and need to get housework, laundry, etc done on the weekends and we don't have the luxury of going with the flow anymore. It never sinks in, and we end up fighting about it. End of rant.

[preciousgiftsmama]

I am not sure how it equals out, but I am happy with how it is. My dh leaves for work at 6am and gets home at 4pm weekdays. So obviously it leaves everything for me to do. Most nights though, when dh gets home at 4pm, he makes dinner for us all. I am so busy during the day, and I hate cooking, so he will come home and cook.

So lets see, dh does most of the cooking everyday, I do all the baking whenever I feel like it. I do all the housecleaning, except he will help with whatever I ask, whenever I ask. I raise the kids, he helps, and plays with them. He will take Ty down to play in the mornings on weekends to try to let me sleep in till 6:30 or so. He takes complete care of our front and backyard, and garage. That alone is a lot of work. I school the kids, bathe the kids, take the kids whereever they need to go, etc. I guess basically, he works hard so I can stay home and raise our kids myself, he is totally with us as a family every second he is not working. He never goes anywhere without us. Perhaps we live a little old-fashioned role, where daddy works and mommy stays home and raises the kids, but thats how we like it

[Bridgett_H]

Well, now that dh started a different job I do most of it since he's away most of the week now. I won't say I do it all because my older son is a HUGE help to me. But when dh is home he does much more than I do. He loves taking care of Jr. He always does his bath and dressing him. He pretty much does everything except diaper duty. He even helps with that now some days when I'm feeling queasy. He's great.

[Karlie]

Josh is out of town for all but 6 days a month so I do 100% most of the time. When he is home I'd say it's about 50/50 during the day and still 100% me at night - haha!

[sfarrow3]

Originally Posted by Karlie

Josh is out of town for all but 6 days a month so I do 100% most of the time. When he is home I'd say it's about 50/50 during the day and still 100% me at night - haha!

Only 6 days??? How do you do that? You're a brave, tough, independent mommy!

[Hollybear]

It's pretty much 50/50, in the beginning I think he probably did more than me (aside from breastfeeding, which he couldn't obviously do LOL) but he would stay up practically all-night and then have to work, all so I could have like a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep.

If he's here, he gives her a bath. He knows how to cloth diaper and how to properly put them in the wet bag. If there's a poo diaper and he's home he'll always take care of it.

If I am trying to get ready and he's already dressed, he'll be helping me get her dressed and/or packing a diaper bag. He still wakes up in the middle of the night because he likes to rock her, and in the morning when she wakes up he brings her in bed with us so she can nurse and then she likes to crawl from me to him and just be "cute".

I have some friends that their husbands hate kid birthday parties or doing "kid" things. (Ex: I even have a friend that her husband said no "kiddie" things at the 1st birthday party) Sean never complains about having to go to birthday parties or anything kid related....in fact, a lot of what we do is geared towards Sophie so I am really thankful for that too

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by sfarrow3

Only 6 days??? How do you do that? You're a brave, tough, independent mommy!

Ditto!!

Originally Posted by Karlie

Josh is out of town for all but 6 days a month so I do 100% most of the time. When he is home I'd say it's about 50/50 during the day and still 100% me at night - haha!

Your one tough lady! Has he always worked this much or will it slow down at some point??

[Lilly Bella]

zach worked in nashville for 2 years, including the entire 9 months i was pregnant. he was home 8 days a month (the weekends)

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by Hollybear

I have some friends that their husbands hate kid birthday parties or doing "kid" things.

That would be my DH. A couple of weeks ago we were supposed to go to a birthday party and DH found out it was less than a mile from Lowes. So he dropped us off and said he'd just go look around for a few minutes and be back. That was around noon. At 3 pm when it was almost time to go, he came back to pick us up. He was there long enough to have a burger and a beer. *Sigh*

[Lilly Bella]

it sucked i'm sorry karlie!

[Daffodil]

It wasn't equal at first but now that she is older, it's equal. He works so much but when he is home he does everything and he is more type A so he is the one packing her diaper bag and feeding her... He also misses her since he works so much so is always cuddling her at night and takes her swimming... Like Holly's husband everything is geared towards her. She is such a daddy's girl. We traveled on the plane together for the first time since she was born and she was in her lap the entire time and he let me watch a movie even after she woke up. He did a complete 180 since she was a newborn. He is great playing with her, more so than me... I kinda phone it in sometimes but he is genuinely enjoying it...but that might be because I am with her 6 days a week and he only has 2.

[Mama2Owen]

I do pretty much everything. DH leaves for work at 5:30 am and isn't home until around 6 pm. He'll play with Owen, but as far as diapers, feeding, etc. that's all on Mama.

DH has a medical condition that requires he get enough sleep, so I knew from the beginning that I'd be up every night.

[Karlie]

Originally Posted by KaiX2Momma

Your one tough lady! Has he always worked this much or will it slow down at some point??

Sort of, he used to fly in and out but would be home for weekends, but he's been on this home for 6 days roster for about 6 months now and will probably do it for another 12 or so. He's a builder and has contracts to build lots of Indigenous houses in the middle of nowhere. It's fantastic money and we're saving for our first house so it's worth it.