Mom burn-out

Jule'sMomInOR · #1 September 18th, 2011, 07:52 AM

Have you ever felt like you really need a vacation from being a mom? Man, I'm there right now. Juliana is still waking up multiple times throughout the night and she's teething, so she's extra fussy. I know this is when she needs me to be sensitive the most but instead I want to run away! Ironically I do have a trip coming up and could leave Juliana home this time, but I don't want to because I don't want her to feel abandoned by me.

We were just at a play date with other toddlers her age and all of the moms were talking about how they want 3 or 4 kids and all I could think about is how I'm ready to be done at 1! It seems like everyone else is in happy mom bliss while I'm burnt out. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has fantasized about running away.

And I only have one. How ridiculous is that that I can't manage one when so many of you have multiple kids and handle it just fine??

nat1970 · #2 September 18th, 2011, 08:51 AM

I want a break from being a mom all the time. The twins exhaust me especially now that they are running around and climbing on everything.

Have you tried the amber teething necklaces? They work wonders.

AndiNW · #3 September 18th, 2011, 10:34 AM

I waited 4 years before having a second! I don't handle it fine at all! Wyatt is back to waking up multiple times at night, and now that I'm back at work it's exhausting. When I see families with 3 or more kids, I'm in awe. Especially when they are out and about. My two wear me out, so you are not alone. I'm jealous of my friends whose kids are older now, it seems easier...I may regret saying that one day.

I don't have any have advice, just sympathy.

TxgirlinKy · #4 September 18th, 2011, 12:51 PM

I feel the same way! I always wonder how other family's seem to be so much more organized and able to go non stop with their kids. We can barely go out and run a few errands before someone is having a melt down and DH and I are both exhausted.
But then as soon as I leave on a work trip I miss him so much that I can't stand it and don't know how to occupy myself when I have free time.

Daffodil · #5 September 18th, 2011, 01:02 PM

I am right there with you!!! i had a great 2-day break from her and I'm ready for more. I really want to leave for a week. But like you, I don't want her to feel like I'm abandoning her.

I really think if a child sleeps well, they are in a better mood throughout the day, and parents aren't so burnt out.

sweetliberty · #6 September 18th, 2011, 01:44 PM

I'm struggling right now too. I'm exhausted from the pregnancy and handling Aaron running and climbing all over everything is driving me up the wall. It doesn't help that he really doesn't talk yet so he whines constantly to get what he wants.

madelynsmomma · #7 September 18th, 2011, 02:44 PM

I've felt this way for the last year

AmandaEliz · #8 September 18th, 2011, 03:52 PM

Yeah, I need a break, too. I'm thinking about changing my name... I hear Mommy about 6000 times a day. I'm ready to re-charge the ole batteries. I haven't been away from my kids in 3 years. DH & I are definitely ready for our cruise in 2 weeks.

alinne1026 · #9 September 18th, 2011, 05:20 PM

Sometimes. Mainly, I feel like I need a break from the girls. They have their good days and their bad days but I feel like a referree a lot of the time. Kellen is so good natured. When he has a bad day it's just a lot of whining and wanting to be held. When the girls have a bad day, they're physical with each other, mouthy, combative....just drives me nuts because no parenting 'techniques' seem to work for them. I love them all dearly. It's just gard to cope with their behavior some days... :/

starrsgirl · #10 September 18th, 2011, 05:44 PM

I know you know this, but I am a big proponent of a break once in a while...even if it's just one overnight or 1 day. I say, think about doing the trip without her. I think it would be a good experience and no, she won't feel abandoned at all if you leave her in loving hands. You will be so refreshed and energized after!

SarahBethsMommy · #11 September 18th, 2011, 05:48 PM

Mariah, I'm going to be completely honest. You should leave her at home and go on your business trip. Really. You will come back and feel like a completely different woman. I know your feeling that you will make her feel abandoned, I had SUCH a hard time the first time I had to go on a trip without Sarah Beth, but I came back and was so renewed. I had that sense that I never wanted to leave her again back. And I felt like a woman again instead of just a mommy.

But, if not that, take a few hours away. Take a break. It really does help.

You are an amazing mommy. You have done SO much for her and given her so much of yourself. She will be fine because you have made her know that you are completely in love with her. And you'll be a better mommy.

AmandaEliz · #12 September 18th, 2011, 06:11 PM

Beth, I couldn't have said it better! Sometimes even we Mommies need a little time to do something for ourselves. A night or 2 of real sleep might make you feel like a new woman, Mariah. Juliana isn't going to feel abandoned; she doesn't even cry when you drop her off at the gym daycare! You spend everyday loving her, so I'm sure she's secure & happy... a few days for a business trip won't change that.

Jule'sMomInOR · #13 September 18th, 2011, 07:39 PM

It's actually a whole week. I'm going to Orlando for a wedding, leaving early Saturday morning and not coming back until the next Saturday night. I'm at the point where I'd consider it if it were just a day or two. I wouldn't mind a day at the spa. Or a weekend getaway with DH. *Sigh*

starrsgirl · #14 September 18th, 2011, 08:11 PM

I still think she will be great for a week! It seems like this huge mountain right now, but once you make that initial separation, you will see that it IS doable. Also, I think it would be a great time for DH to really fill his shoes and have the weight fall on him. And he WILL step up in your absence....he really will as much as you don't see that now.

Either way, I think you should schedule something. If not this week, then a weekend getaway for sure. Don't let it go too long until you are more burnt out than you are now. For me, seeing that I could go away from Emmett and we both still exist and are our own beings was revolutionary. Until that point, in my mind, I thought of E as literally a physical extension of myself. I really think at this age, she is well adjusted and loved...she's not a newborn anymore.

If you decide to do it, it's completely normal to feel anxious and panicky the first few hours/day but it does ease and becomes easier than you think. You aren't odd to feel what you feel at all.

Daffodil · #15 September 18th, 2011, 09:18 PM

Do it!!! Any of those, week in Orlando, weekend with DH, or a day at the spa...you totally deserve it and Juliana will be just fine. She might even think its better that way, haha, like Arie did when I left.

SarahBethsMommy · #16 September 18th, 2011, 09:19 PM

The first time I left Sarah Beth it was a week-long thing (mission trip with the youth group). I can totally understand you would want to ease into that, though. Is there anyway that you and your DH could plan a weekend away? Or maybe a weekend with your mom or a good girl friend?

I hope you can find a time!

sfarrow3 · #17 September 19th, 2011, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starrsgirl

I still think she will be great for a week! It seems like this huge mountain right now, but once you make that initial separation, you will see that it IS doable. Also, I think it would be a great time for DH to really fill his shoes and have the weight fall on him. And he WILL step up in your absence....he really will as much as you don't see that now.

Either way, I think you should schedule something. If not this week, then a weekend getaway for sure. Don't let it go too long until you are more burnt out than you are now. For me, seeing that I could go away from Emmett and we both still exist and are our own beings was revolutionary. Until that point, in my mind, I thought of E as literally a physical extension of myself. I really think at this age, she is well adjusted and loved...she's not a newborn anymore.

If you decide to do it, it's completely normal to feel anxious and panicky the first few hours/day but it does ease and becomes easier than you think. You aren't odd to feel what you feel at all.

I agree!!!! You will feel like a new woman girl!!! I'm really happy for you and you are a wonderful mommy!

Jule'sMomInOR · #18 September 19th, 2011, 09:21 AM

I really wouldn't feel comfortable leaving for a week for the first time. I'd need to build up with one night first, then two, and see how that goes. Plus if I show up at my mom's without her grandbaby, she's probably throw me out.

But I do have some plans to have DH babysit while I go for a facial next week, I'm planning to go to the gym lots of times this week (and I'm going to try to convince myself to sit in the hot tub after my workout and read, rather than rushing back, but we'll see how that goes). I'm also in process of planning a girls' day at the spa with my friends while my mom babysits in just under 3 weeks. Just thinking about breaks coming up helps me feel a little better.

Daffodil · #19 September 19th, 2011, 12:04 PM

Mariah, I think if you start doing that, you will start feeling a LOT more relaxed and refreshed. Juliana will be IN your life instead of running your life. I'm going to take Arie to the gym today, we'll see how it goes.