I feel so guilty

mrsjl · #1 October 23rd, 2011, 08:06 PM

it must be so hard for her to understand. she is a lot younger than my daughter was when her brother was born, but maybe I can help anyway.

-when you are feeding him, maybe have some of Rosie's books beside you so she can sit with you and you can read to her.

-get her to "help" you with the baby, like getting his diaper or his blanket or something

-does she have a baby doll? she might like to have her own baby to play with while you are caring for the real baby

these are just a couple of things that worked for me, I bet there are other great ideas out there too. hopefully someone else can help as well.

noworries · #2 October 23rd, 2011, 10:06 PM

ditto to the things that Lori suggested. Also, don't say things like "we can't do that right now because I am feeding the baby" because that could lead to resentment of the baby. Instead say things like, "we can't do that right now because mommy's boobies are hurting and I need baby to help me not hurt anymore" or something along those lines. Or say, we will do that as soon as I am done watching my show (if you are watching tv while breastfeeding). Basically find someone or something to blame besides the baby.

mommydiva · #3 October 24th, 2011, 12:44 AM

Poor Rosie just doesn't know what to think. We have been running into some issues that just popped up. Not sure if its because of the baby or not like hitting. I just feel bad because it seems every time we are turning around all she is hearing is no we cant do this or no we can't do that. Up until this point she has heard no but not like this. When feeding Joshua she climbs up and wants to be by my but then stands up and throws herself down because she thinks its fun. So its trying to get her to sit down so she don't hurt self then she gets mad and throws a fit. We have been looking for ways to give a lot more yes's but it isn't working as well because a lot of what she is being told No to is things like the sitting which is a safety issue and hitting or taking away Joshua's blanket or pacifier. Sometimes I can diffuse the situation by trading with her but not always.

I knew it would be hard but I didn't think it would be this hard. And I love my mom here helping but at the same time its messing with how we do things. So I am glad she is leaving Tuesday because I also need to start figuring out how to do this without the all day help kinda thing. I try to spend 1 on 1 with her when Joshua is sleeping and things like that. But its when I am dealing with him that she seems to just want my attention.

I just feel bad because I feel like she feels abandoned or something by me.

Trish36 · #4 October 24th, 2011, 04:49 AM

It must be hard. All my kids were older when I had the next baby, so I never went through that stage. She just doesn't understand yet that she's not the only one anymore and now you have to split your time. Yes, she will be jealous of the baby at first, but she will get used to it. Especially if you try to include her . I think Lori gave great ideas. Can she hold her own bottle? Maybe when you are feeding the baby she could sit beside you and drink her own milk and cuddle with you.
BTW - CONGRATS!!! He is just adorable!

mommydiva · #5 October 24th, 2011, 09:38 AM

Never thought about the book thing. I will try that out.
She does have her own baby but she isn't all that into it unless its to sit on..lol
No more bottles but she has her sippy cup that she carries around with water all day.

I never say no as in no we can't because of I am feeding the baby type thing. But I do say "Thats Joshua's so we can't take that. Where is yours? Or here is yours" type thing. Or try to offer her something else like her toys or things of that nature.

She does help with throwing diapers away. And things of that nature.

I know it will take time and today seems to be a bit better so far no melt down this morning over the blanket and pacifier. She was easily redirected.

Rochelle7 · #6 October 24th, 2011, 12:01 PM

on your new precious little boy. Eventually Rosie will adjust. I hope it's soon though to make everything easier on everyone. Trying to imagine Heidi having a baby sib at her age seems unfathomable and I'm 100% sure she wouldn't do well with it initially. Hang in there! GL! Both of them are adorable.