Discipline

krsnow · #1 January 31st, 2012, 09:55 PM

What form of discipline are you using with your LO? Do you think they are still to young for time outs?

I had a few friends recommend a book/DVD called 123 Magic. Just wondering if anyone is familiar with this? I watched it and want to start using it but still wonder if my LO is too young to understand.

Celine · #2 February 1st, 2012, 04:20 AM

Sophia is constantly trying out things to see my reaction. We need punishment. IMO they are old enough for it.

She gets one minute time out as her punishment (usually in the living room- b/c there is the gate to separate me from her). I think it works. She hates being separated from me.

MamaAnna · #3 February 1st, 2012, 05:04 AM

They recommended that 1-2-3 Magic when my oldest was 4 and it achieved jack ****. She thought it was hilarious that you got to 3 and the punishment was just sitting in her room. She couldn't have cared less.

As far as Sarah goes, no, I don't believe in disciplining 1 year old's. The "bad" stuff they do is infant/toddler curiosity and frustration. Disciplining them for natural inclinations seems wrong to me. If she's doing something she shouldn't I'll redirect her and if necessary remove the temptation, but that's the extent of it at this age.

shockandawe · #4 February 1st, 2012, 05:32 AM

lol...I do anything that works honestly.

So Maggie is feisty, and hard headed and sneaky. Already. And she absolutely is at the age where she needs discipline. I agree that natural tendencies and accidents are not what needs this kind of correction. But there are clearly differences in my child when she knows she's doing something, versus when she's instinctually trying it for the first time.

She gets time out on the stairs, she gets firmly spoken to, and I have popped her hand here and there. Never hard, but enough to catch her attention. And she's resisting me, but I force her to apologize when she's hurt or upset someone. If it takes 4 time outs back to back and half an hour, she can't just go back to doing what she wants to do without accounting for what's been done.

It may make me sound like I'm a hard ***** momma, and I guess if it does, then it does. But I want to be sure she understands there are real consequences to her actions, and with my child, I'll be better off correcting that behaviour sooner rather than later.

preciousgiftsmama · #5 February 1st, 2012, 06:20 AM

I am probably against the norm, but I practice gentle parenting, and I am very lucky because Ty is such a laid back easy going baby. He is by far my most well minding child. If we ask him to stop doing something, or gently say no, he generally stops and does what we ask. If he should be into something he cannot be, we redirect and remove the situation/object from him. In my parenting style/practice, I do not believe in bad babies, or punishment at this age at all.

With that said, I have a 6 y/o dd that loves to push the limits daily

And when she was 5 y/o I did buy the book 123 Magic and tried it. It did work pretty well with her personality, but I think I got lazy and stopped using it. Now at 6 y/o, she totally understands what she should and shouldnt do, so we just ask her to stop what she is doing if its undesirable behavior, and she listens. Her discipline would be to go to her room, but she hates that so bad, that she never ever has to. And I do know I am blessed with easy to raise kids. My nieces on the other hand...monsters!

Every child is different, and every child reacts differently to discipline, and only you know what works for your child and you.

sfarrow3 · #6 February 1st, 2012, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shockandawe

lol...I do anything that works honestly.

So Maggie is feisty, and hard headed and sneaky. Already. And she absolutely is at the age where she needs discipline. I agree that natural tendencies and accidents are not what needs this kind of correction. But there are clearly differences in my child when she knows she's doing something, versus when she's instinctually trying it for the first time.

She gets time out on the stairs, she gets firmly spoken to, and I have popped her hand here and there. Never hard, but enough to catch her attention. And she's resisting me, but I force her to apologize when she's hurt or upset someone. If it takes 4 time outs back to back and half an hour, she can't just go back to doing what she wants to do without accounting for what's been done.

It may make me sound like I'm a hard ***** momma, and I guess if it does, then it does. But I want to be sure she understands there are real consequences to her actions, and with my child, I'll be better off correcting that behaviour sooner rather than later.

This is my Londy to the "T". London knows exactly what she is doing. If my one year old (19 month) can fold her arms and yell "leave me alone" and walk away than I believe she knows..HA HA.. I'm sure alot of her behavior that she exhibits is from watching other kids...i.e daycare. So I do my best to demonstrate to her what I will and will not tolerate. Also yesterday I was telling London no about something and she actually said "blah blah blah blah"

I asked the daycare provider this morining about it and apparently there is a 6 year old that says that when she is told to do something and doesn't want to do it...lol London is a SPONGE!!!!

Anyway we don't really do time outs per say, but I redirect, remove her from the situation, speak to her really firmly and I have spanked her hand a few times.

Quote:

Originally Posted by preciousgiftsmama

I am probably against the norm, but I practice gentle parenting, and I am very lucky because Ty is such a laid back easy going baby. He is by far my most well minding child. If we ask him to stop doing something, or gently say no, he generally stops and does what we ask. If he should be into something he cannot be, we redirect and remove the situation/object from him. In my parenting style/practice, I do not believe in bad babies, or punishment at this age at all.

With that said, I have a 6 y/o dd that loves to push the limits daily

And when she was 5 y/o I did buy the book 123 Magic and tried it. It did work pretty well with her personality, but I think I got lazy and stopped using it. Now at 6 y/o, she totally understands what she should and shouldnt do, so we just ask her to stop what she is doing if its undesirable behavior, and she listens. Her discipline would be to go to her room, but she hates that so bad, that she never ever has to. And I do know I am blessed with easy to raise kids. My nieces on the other hand...monsters!

Every child is different, and every child reacts differently to discipline, and only you know what works for your child and you.

Ditto!

noworries · #7 February 1st, 2012, 06:51 AM

I also practice positive parenting\discipline. Discipline means 'to teach'. At this age, I just do a lot of redirection. I don't do time outs at all, even with my four year old. So, I'm not really a help when it comes to traditional punishments because I don't do punishments. But if you are ever interested in learning more about positive discipline, I'd be happy to expand on that.

Jule'sMomInOR · #8 February 1st, 2012, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaAnna

They recommended that 1-2-3 Magic when my oldest was 4 and it achieved jack ****. She thought it was hilarious that you got to 3 and the punishment was just sitting in her room. She couldn't have cared less.

As far as Sarah goes, no, I don't believe in disciplining 1 year old's. The "bad" stuff they do is infant/toddler curiosity and frustration. Disciplining them for natural inclinations seems wrong to me. If she's doing something she shouldn't I'll redirect her and if necessary remove the temptation, but that's the extent of it at this age.

Ditto. At this point I do not believe in punishment or time-outs.

Like Tyla, we do gentle discipline/parenting. Instead of saying what not to do, we talk about what to do and the effect of the behavior. For example, if she hits we say "We do gentle touches" and "Hitting hurts [Mom/the dog/your friend]." The if necessary we take her hand and she her how to do gentle touches. It took weeks of this and now she very rarely hits, and if I see her about to hit, I remind her to be gentle and she does. Toddlers have an innate desire to please and we really try to use that to our advantage.

Happiest Toddler on the Block is a wonderful video. I also love the Dr. Sears Discipline Book.

Jule'sMomInOR · #9 February 1st, 2012, 07:33 AM

Another point about spanking a hand: children model our behavior and it is very confusing to them to be told not to hit, yet to see their parents and role models hit them. I'm not trying to criticize anyone's parenting methods but just pointing that out.

sfarrow3 · #10 February 1st, 2012, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

Another point about spanking a hand: children model our behavior and it is very confusing to them to be told not to hit, yet to see their parents and role models hit them. I'm not trying to criticize anyone's parenting methods but just pointing that out.

ehh..to each its own...what works for some may or may not work for others. I think as a parent you do what works best for your family.

mommydiva · #11 February 1st, 2012, 08:55 AM

We do a form of timeout. Rosie knows where that spot is. We use timeout but its more about being consistent. She acts out when she is tired so we do try to get it before it can reach that point but when she refuses naps its hard because I do have to protect the dog and DS. And she knows not to do certain things because we will say we have to be nice and she will look at you and do it anyways. But I know a lot of it is the age.

We are not against spanking if it works but at this age we do not. Who knows what the future will hold.

We also try to create a lot of yes lets do this over saying no all the time and giving her tasks to help us. She loves to help and so when we can let her help we do.

And the yelling she does yell at us but all it takes is a quick do not yell at me and if she keeps up we walk away.