[twolips02]

Anyone else here banging their head against the wall like I am deciding to expand our family?

I made a list and the reasons not to have any more kids is quite lengthy with reasons to have another very short.

So why am I wrestling with this? DH is thinking he would like to be done with our two, but he is fine with another if that is something I really want.

I guess maybe because we have two girls I would like a son...

Just thinking out loud here, I guess. The idea of being done now is freeing. But I am afraid to make a final decision and then regret it. I may get a total hysterectomy/oophorectomy bc of multiple health concerns.

[laisydaisymama]

that's so tough. Even with 4 kids, a DH who is SURE we are done, and a career on the horizon, I still have aprehension about making a permanent decision...

[Celine]

That is tough. Plus we don't see your list of positives vs. negatives. And the health issues might be something serious. Do you have cysts? It's hard to give advice.

I was told that I should get a hysterectomy when I am done w/ children, b/c of fibroids- they will come back and that means surgery for me. I am ok (I think I am anyways- ask me again when I am on the table and they are taking it out) with the hysterectomy idea, just not yet. I would like to have one more baby if I can get pregnant. I think if it doesn't happen I will be sad but I have my little girl and she is a lot to handle already.

Not sure if any of this helps you. But maybe it helps that you are not alone out there. I kind of know how you feel.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

I only have one and I have wrestled with that decision. DH and I struggled with our marriage and finding time together during the first year. It was tough. I know it would be even harder with 2. I also am somewhat career-driven while also being a very attachment-style parent and the two don't mix well without driving me half crazy. It was just so tough to do everything I wanted and I felt like nothing was done well the first year, and to some extent even now. We have decided that we are happy with one, but we reserve the right to change our minds. If we do, we will wait until Juliana is at least 4 and I know there's no way I'll ever have more than 2. That's just me, though.

[mrsjl]

we "should" stop with the two we have, but I just can't imagine never being pregnant again, never giving birth again, never having a newborn again. so we'll just have to have one more, I guess.

my husband thinks we should just stop now and move on with the next stage. our daughter is starting school in september and we have one of each and each kid has their own room and we only have one car that would be a tight squeeze with 3 kids back there.

so logically, we should stop, but I am just turning 25 this month, I feel like I have lots of time to have just one more.

[I<3HelloKitty]

That's a really tough decision to make, especially since it'll be permanent for you. I know we're going to have at least one more. I really wanted 4, and DH agreed to 3 but I'm already 33, so if our next is a boy, we may end up stopping at 2. I love being pregnant, but I guess we'll see if my next pregnancy is as easy as my last.

[Arei_720]

I'm wrestling with the idea of at least one more. What comes to mind for me is that quote, "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do."

[birdblue]

I want at least one more...and we will likely stop at two.

[Irish_Wristwatch]

I know im not done, we will have 2 more, and even after that i know i will have a hard time saying never again

[Banned-~ Jade ~]

That is a hard decision.

I think after our twins we'll be done but I don't know for definite, I think the fact that when I have the twins I'll only be 20 is sort of in the back of my mind like do I really want to stop. If we're not done I know we'll definitley wait a few years before having any more

[iluvgummies]

We are in a similar spot. Well, I am. DH would be more than happy to be done, but is leaving it up to me, more or less. I have a fairly long list of reasons not to have anymore, but my reasons for having another are pretty much just one - I simply don't feel our family is complete. I don't know how to explain it, DH certainly doesn't get it... I love our two kids nd I think they're great. But I do feel like our family is meant to be bigger. Also, when I was pregnant with Ella I just assumed we would have more so I didn't really soak up each moment like I should have, if that makes sense. I'm sad to think I may never feel a little one moving inside me again. Or hold my sleeping newborn. I'm just not ready to never experience that again. So we'll see.

Best of luck on your decision. If it helps, I think all moms feel some sense of sadness when they're done...even those who are 100%!sure of their decision.

[Trish36]

It is a hard decision to make. I've in the past, after having DS, had decided that we would be done. But then changed my mind and we ended up having 2 more. I was still wanting to have another one, mostly for selfish reasons I think , that Iwanted to be pregnant again, I wanted to have another chance to have that 'perfect' birth that I envision, and because I wanted another boy (we have 3 girls 1 boy). But I just realized that it would not be a good situation for us to have another baby, plus I am tired, drained, and so done dealing with baby issues. I want to be able to concentrate on the kids I have and on myself as well. Right now I feel like I live for my children and I can't wait for them to get more independent.
So I know that I am done, althought I still wish that I somehow could have another boy. Maybe if I could back the clock a few years or win some $$.
Good luck with your decision!

[-LovingLife-]

It is such a deeply personal deicison for every woman. But personally, I would love to have what most people would say is a large family. We are trying for #4 currently and have talked about the possibility of having 5 or 6 children.

Children are an amazing blessing, and whatever is right for your family is wonderful. Best of luck!