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I know that a lot of my stories have to be with me going to school rather than starting my family. It has been a rough, but very valuable road that I have been lead down.
About 8 weeks ago I went and started talking to graduate departments about degrees based on a prompting. I talked to 2 departments and it was a good feeling that I was. I prayed that I would know what to do even if it wasn't what I wanted to do. Well, the answer was for me to do something that would have been my second choice out of 2 choices. I knew it was right, but I was having a hard time altering the time scales I had put in place for other accomplishments that I wanted to do.
My prayers shifted from "what am I supposed to do" to "I know what I am supposed to do, but I need you to help me emotionally prepare for what this path leads to". It took a couple of weeks of prayer and preparation of my application materials for me to be ready to tackle the road that I am being lead to. It has been like this for several years as I have struggled with some of my classes feeling helpless and stagnant in my life. For the time being, I am at peace. There is nothing but endless possibilities because I don't know the answers to some of the questions that I have, but knowing that the Lord is always there for me through prayer, it is calming.
I know that this is an ongoing process and will have struggles on this same topic at least until I am done with university.
Right now my prayers have been focused on asking for assistance to be a good mother to Emma. I've never had the good example in my family that I need to be a good mother, so I pray often to know which direction to go in. I know that Heavenly Father is there for me and helping me along the way. I have responsibility for one of His special spirit daughters and all I want is to be a righteous example to her and lead her in a way that He would have me lead her.