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I'm Jerusha, 23, married to a wonderful hubby with a new baby. I need some help and advice...
So, I have finally come to the conclusion it is time to face the facts. I have an eating disorder. I'm a binge eater. A compulsive eater. Whatever it is called, I am it. I was reading through the symptoms and it shocked the hell out of me.
Compulsive overeating is characterized by uncontrollable eating and consequent weight gain. Compulsive overeaters use food as a way to cope with stress, emotional conflicts and daily problems. The food can block out feelings and emotions. Compulsive overeaters usually feel out of control and are aware their eating patterns are abnormal. Like bulimics, compulsive overeaters do recognize they have a problem.
Compulsive overeating usually starts in early childhood when eating patterns are formed. Most people who become compulsive eaters are people who never learned the proper way to deal with stressful situations and used food instead as a way of coping. Fat can also serve as a protective function for them, especially in people that have been victims of sexual abuse. They sometimes feel that being overweight will keep others at a distance and make them less attractive. Unlike anorexia and bulimia, there is a high proportion of male overeaters.
The more weight that is gained, the harder they try to diet and dieting is usually what leads to the next binge, which can be followed by feelings of powerlessness, guilt, shame and failure. Dieting and bingeing can go on forever if the emotional reasons for the bingeing is not dealt with.
In today's society, compulsive overeating is not yet taken seriously enough. Instead of being treated for the serious problem they have, they are instead directed to diet centers and health spas. Like anorexia and bulimia, compulsive overeating is a serious problem and can result in death. With the proper treatment, which should include therapy, medical and nutritional counseling, it can be overcome.
My eating habits...me...in a nutshell. When I was younger, my parents took me to see an eating disorder specialist in Toronto and he just figured I was fat, and that was the end of it. He never really paid any attention to the real problem. He didn't really deal with children. I was 8.
It hasn't gotten any better since then. I have eating ups and downs. Mostly downs...and then I got a thyroid disease because of my eating behaviour, and I am paying for it.
Last night, we were watching the Dr. Phil special with Paula Abdul. About 15-20 minutes into the show, I said, "I like Paula Abdul." Dh said, "me too." I said, "do you think she's hot?" He said yes and winked. I was INFURIATED and I have no idea why. I just couldn't deal with it. I went to the bathroom and had a shower and cried my heart out. I cried because I will never look like Paula Abdul and if that is what he thinks is hot then what the hell does he think I am? I remember once when we were dating, I made a joke about getting fatter (because in all honesty, it was totally possible). Dh said that if I gained another 100 lbs. he would still love me but wouldn't find me attractive. Since then, I have probably gained 60 lbs. I don't think he finds me all that attractive anymore. That makes me so sad.
I don't want to eat. But then I do, and I eat too much. And then I feel guilty so I starve myself for a few days. And then I eat again. Diets never work because I get so frustrated and then cheat with cookies or cake or chocolate or something that I am not allowed. I've even tried diets where I was allowed to cheat and have chocolate or something once a week and that still didn't work.
I don't know what to do. I think I need to see a counsellor or an eating disorder specialist but we can't afford it. I just don't know what t do. I am sick of feeling fat, ugly, hopeless, unhot. It sucks.
Oh honey.. I have problems with diets too. I would start one and do it for a few weeks and they I was right back to my old ways. I would eat when I was stressed, depressed, etc. My dh actually told me that he would like me a lot better if I weighed 120. I recently started dieting again and have lost 21lbs so far. I think the main difference this time is I decided to do it for me and not someone else. I am loving the diet I am on and I can still eat a lot of the things I used to eat. If you ever need any help or just someone to talk to..I am here. You can email, IM, or PM me anytime.