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Respect Respect Respect for BBW that are pregnant!


Forum: Plus Size Mommies and Mommies to Be

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  #1  
March 22nd, 2006, 05:55 AM
Mama Melissa's Avatar Bienvenue à Canada
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 14,916
I came across this a while ago and posted it on my blog...but I thought I would share it all with you! ITs rather motivating and inspiring to me! I hope you can get the same thing out of it....it is a letter to doctors, midwives, professionals..that work with plus size ladies in their pregnancies...enjoy!



I know who I am
Understand that I know, better than anyone else in the world, what my body size is and how it affects me, my health and my baby. Listen to me. Respect my intuitions about my body and my baby. Praise me when I've gained a pound, five pounds -- "Good, that baby's growing!"

Touch me gently, with respect and consideration. Talk to me as an equal. Respect my intelligence. See my body as human, not ugly or abhorrent. Pay attention to me. Watch my belly grow and comment on it when you measure, tell me how beautifully I'm growing a healthy baby.

If my baby's heartbeat is hard to find, blame it on the machine or that active little one, not on my belly. Don't blame me. Don't shame me. Don't patronize me or sneer when I step on a scale. Know that your eyes and your face say as much as your mouth.

Be aware of your own biases and prejudices. Acknowledge your humanness as well as my own. Give me personal attention. Educate me, and let me educate you. Be open to new ideas, even if they seem foreign to you. Don't handle me or speak to me roughly. Anger isn't going to help you or me.

Understand that I am unique. I am not like "every other fat woman" you've ever treated. Please don't treat me as a national average. If my body size makes you assume things about me and how my body is going to react to pregnancy, try to remember that I am not a statistic. Do not make pregnancy complications a self-fulfilling prophecy. Give me a chance to grow a healthy baby. Know that I love my body and I love this life growing inside of me as much as any other mother you have ever seen.

Do not stand apart and judge me. Instead, enter into a relationship with me. I am not foreign, I am not "other," I am human, I am just like you. Do not treat me like a child and talk down to me.

There are some things you CAN assume: Assume that I already know or have heard at some point that I would lose weight if I would "just decrease my caloric intake and increase my exercise." Assume that I have had 'the talk' about my "weight issues." Assume, too, that someone at some point has suggested that I seek counseling or therapy for my "emotional eating."

I am not entering into this relationship with you to solve the problem of my body size. I am entering into this relationship because I love my baby and want him or her to be born healthy and whole. I am who I am, right now, this minute, and the next nine months aren't going to create a magical overnight change in my body size or my psyche when it comes to my weight. Don't pressure me to be something or someone I am not.

Try to see me as human, and as beautiful, as everything human can be. Share the joys with me, the heartbeat, the movements. Sympathize with the discomforts, the heavy belly, the aching ligaments, the morning sickness -- without judgments, please. My aches and pains, my joys and sorrows, are the same AND different than any other woman in the world, regardless of her body size. Give me your support. Give me your hand. Look into my eyes. Smile. We are in this together, and we want the same exact things.
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  #2  
March 22nd, 2006, 08:34 AM
Justmeandmyguys's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 116
That is so beautiful! I like ur pic too! U and ur man look great!
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  #3  
March 22nd, 2006, 01:50 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
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That was beautifully said. I got a lot of comments from people about gaining "too much weight" when I was pregnant. The only person who said I still looked beautiful was my DH In fact, I think he paid me more compliments when I was pregnant than any other time, even our wedding day (even though he LOVED the slit in my dress almost up to my thigh My best friend even has a picture of him trying to look up it, even though I don't remember it).
You are you and that is all that matters!

And I have to agree with Shannan. You and your man look like a great couple! Very attractive together!
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2006, 10:44 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
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That is awesome! Thank you for sharing that beautiful piece.
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  #5  
March 23rd, 2006, 11:47 AM
cinfy's Avatar Cool Chick
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,314
That's great. Thanks for sharing.
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  #6  
March 24th, 2006, 01:05 AM
feohgoddess's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Salinas, California
Posts: 995
wow i really needed to read that and i just posted a rant about my doctor critisizing my weight about a minute ago. its awsome thank you!!!!
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  #7  
March 24th, 2006, 11:56 PM
nlp32's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 1,699
I love my Dr.! I never realized how many dr's are narrowminded. I'm so happy that I have a dr. that is like that poem, non-judgemental, praising, comforting, and real. It just makes me want to hug her...lol
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  #8  
March 25th, 2006, 05:07 AM
feohgoddess's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Salinas, California
Posts: 995
Quote:
I love my Dr.! I never realized how many dr's are narrowminded. I'm so happy that I have a dr. that is like that poem, non-judgemental, praising, comforting, and real. It just makes me want to hug her...lol[/b]


I'll trade ya! lol jk. thats awsome though. There needs to be more drs like yours
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