[*Carla*]

Does your child have a bully in their class?

There is one boy in Riley's class that is often in trouble and seems to be pretty rough with the other kids. I'm not sure if I would classify him a bully but he's bordering on it. Today after school Riley wasn't himself - very quiet and got upset easily. After an hour or two he told me this kid had been pushing him during the day. He doesn't single Riley out and seems to treat a lot of the kids like that and gets put in time out a lot for this behaviour and other acting out. Funnily enough, his dad is the local policeman.

My solution is to email the teacher to make sure she is aware and stays on top of it. Brad says Riley needs to stick up for himself, and by this he means physically. He says a bully won't stop picking on kids if no one stands up to them. I can kind of see what he means but I am totally against fighting of any kind. I think a guys point of view on this is totally different from a mum's point of view.

What do you think? What would you do? Have any of you had to deal with bullying yet?

[ImustBeNuts06]

I am so sorry. Poor Riley! I don't like fighting either, but I'm all for intimidation..... Want me to send my three down there?? They'll get Riley's back and they tell this little punk off!

Seriously, it's awful! We've been dealing with bullies for awhile. They start early too!!! Nicholas had a hard time with bullies on the playground last year. There was one kid that kept pushing him down. He didn't know the kid's name, because he was from a different class. Nicholas said he told the teacher, and when she didn't listen, he told other teachers. At the conference, I brought it up to her and she acted surprised. Out of all my kids, I believe Nicholas the most. I know he told her.....completely trust that he is telling the truth. I think she just didn't want to be bothered. Brady was bullied by a girl eariler this year....turns out she likes him, lol. He was also bullied daily on the bus. He came home crying a few times. Nick said he didn't stand up for Brady because he was afraid of getting in trouble. I told him that he is to help his brother, and if any teacher/bus driver/principal has a problem with it, they can call me.

I don't like the idea of fighting back. However, if a child has gone to a teacher or another adult and the complaint was ignored over and over.....yeah, go for it kid!

[megpie]

In preschool there was a boy who told Ava he was going to slice her throat with a knife. Glad that kid didn't end up at Ava's elementary school.

I remember having some bulling issues in my classroom and the parents told me they told their son he has permission to fight/hit the kid if the bullying continues.

[*Carla*]

Originally Posted by megpie

In preschool there was a boy who told Ava he was going to slice her throat with a knife. Glad that kid didn't end up at Ava's elementary school.

I remember having some bulling issues in my classroom and the parents told me they told their son he has permission to fight/hit the kid if the bullying continues.

Holy cr@p, who let's their preschooler talk like that??!

As a teacher, what was your reaction to those parents of the bullied kid MM?

Now I'm wondering if I'm not being understanding enough of 'boys'. Should I just encourage him to stick up for himself.

[~TreeGrl~]

I haven't heard of any bullies yet. We have a book that we read to the boys about bullies. It gives them some practical advice on how to deal with bullies. I know my husband would say that our boys should fight it out if they have to, but I feel a little less inclined to have them do that.

I would contact the teacher first, and ask her to watch out for how the boy treats Riley. If TJ was in the same position, I would practice with him what he could say to the kid if he was getting pushed around. With these little guys, sometimes just using strong words would stop the problems. T has such a hard time advocating for himself, that this would be the first thing I would tell him to do. My MIL's neighbor has a little boy that is T's age, and he is super bossy and pushy, so my MIL and I have been working with TJ on teaching him how to stick up for himself with the boy when they play.

[*Carla*]

Thanks for the input ladies. I emailed the teacher before school this morning and she replied immediately saying she will keep an eye on it and that she will not tolerate bullying in her class. That's great, but I'm still not sure how to tackle it with Riley.

[~*Melanie*~]

I'm glad you emailed her and she was so receptive! I was going to say exactly what Willow said-- maybe you can teach him a few witty one-liners to use so he can stand up for himself.

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you!

HA! I'm kidding with that one because I can't think of anything right now.

There is one kid in Alexis' class who sounds EXACTLY like the kid in Riley's class. He has bothered Alexis a few times and I'm not sure what to do about it. I get the impression he is like this with ALL of the kids, but that's no excuse! I think I should email the teacher too.

[megpie]

Oh I totally forgot when Lucas was in preschool last year, he told me a boy would spit in his face every time they got in line. Nice, uh?

We role-played at home and practiced a saying a firm and loud, "NO!" or "STOP!"
It never happened again.