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Ok first off Beth sory if I offended you, you seem very cross with me in your post. I take back the fact that I said people nevr get the same opportunities. Although I guess depending on were in the world and ho poor/poverty stricken people are that may be true, but that would be a whole different thread in itself! Its what people make of the opportunities or blows in life they are given. I apologize if I offended you in saying she 'fell' pregnant, Yes she did make a choice not a great one and the area where she lived (Ilived there for 3 years) is full of teenagers with young children hanging around the shops all day smoking. What i was trying to say is that despite her situation she has done very well and her children come first despite the fact that finishing school, a full time job and marraige didnt come before having children which is seen as 'correct'
LeeAnn my Df is the youngest of 4 and theres a 10 yr age gap between him and his next oldest sibling so his brother took on the discipline role although I must say you sound very firm but fair, you gave them chances, I dont think my DF even got that! I think he was pretty good overall though.
Thanks Ash, i do worry wether people mind me posting in some of these threads. Im not seeing myself out of the clear till Im 12 weeks!
You did not offend me at all - It's hard to not come across that way in a board. I'm very happy that your cousin made a good life for herself despite the bad decisions she may have made when she was a teenager, she's actually a good example why it's not really about the "opportunities" but about the decisions you make in your life. She made a bad decision but instead of blaming everyone else and depending on the gov't/other people to live, she got back up and made a good life for herself and her child. I definitely don't think you HAVE to be in a marriage to have children, but you should definitely know what you are doing before hand. Sadly, there are too many people out there that don't think before they make decisions esp. ones that involve their future children. There are even too many couples that get married too quickly and have children right away and then decide they don't want to be married and guess who gets that short stick? those poor children!
Also, my DH is a living example of someone's bad decision. His mother had a relationship with his dad who was having an affair. At first, his mom didn't know about his wife, but then she did find out and she continued on with the relationship (BAD decision #1), then she got pregnant and had the child (DH) and instead of giving him up for adoption she kept him, which is fine except she could barely live herself much less with a child. Regardless, he turned out ok except he never really had a dad in his life. He does still have a relationship with his dad but it's lunch 1x a month and he's never met me (or anyone else in his life) and did not attend his graduation or wedding. I don't really consider that much of a dad. Ok, sorry off another rant. The point being I am not at all offended by you and I hope I didn't come across that way. I am just passionate about this discussion and like to get my thoughts across just as much as I like to hear other people's opinions.
Beth I think it's great that you volunteer your time at the shelter. We have a similar shelter here for children. It must be both frustrating and rewarding for you. Unfortunately as the economy continues to worsen you'll probably see more and more people using the shelter. Regardless of why the parents are using it, thank goodness the kids will have loving people like you there to help them.