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Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  #1  
May 21st, 2009, 05:38 PM
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So, I have a couple of friends that know we're ttc. I regret telling anyone because when I did, I thought I'd be pregnant in a heartbeat. We have not told my MIL because although I love her to death she is: (1) a blabbermouth (she told me DH had bought an engagement ring and said "I'm sorry! I'm so happy! I had to tell you!"); and (2) she's a blabbermouth.

So one of the people I have told is DH's step sister who I'm super close with. She had not said anything. But, tonight, her and my MIL stopped by to say hello. And five minutes in the door, step sister says "how are the hormones going this cycle?"

***.

I said "umm okay, but I'd rather not talk about it." She immediately felt horrible. I could tell. MIL immediately said "hormones? Hormones for what." I think quickly enough to say something very lame about my thyroid being tested and even lied and said I had been tired and blah blah blah and get tested. Actually the lie came out so well that I feel kind of bad. Although, really, not that bad because I think I rather have everyone think I have a thyroid problem.

I think I'm going on lock down and not telling anyone anything. This is now the second time someone has said something inappropriate. Last month, my friend said right to DH "so have you had to get the sperm thingy done." DH was moritifed and said with a total straight face "yes, I enjoyed having sex with a cup. Thank you for asking." And then after asked me not to tell my friends personal things.
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  #2  
May 21st, 2009, 05:43 PM
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Your MIL sounds exactly my MIL! DH and I have told only a couple very close friends and my parents that we are going to TTC. We can't even tell his mother because, like your MIL, she has the biggest mouth ever! She would already be on the phone with his aunts, cousins, and coworkers even if we told her not to tell anyone.

That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I can't stand when people share private information!
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  #3  
May 21st, 2009, 05:44 PM
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I am sorry. Yea, I HATE when people say stuff when they shouldn't. I mean it is not hard to keep your mouth shut. Even if you might "think" you shouldn't say something, then don't! LOL
But when it comes down to it, you covered yourself, and all they can believe is what you told them. When you do get your BFP you will be so happy and be so ecstatic to share, and even if people already know you have been TTC, they will be just as thrilled!!
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  #4  
May 21st, 2009, 05:46 PM
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I know! And I love my MIL soooooo much. She is wonderful. Just full of love. But she can't stop herself. It's because it would make her so happy she'd tell everyone in the world. We'd be out to eat, I can picture it, and she say to the waitress "no beer, she's ttc!!" she couldn't stop herself even if she tried.

I do feel bad for lying. She's told me before that it took her a long time to conceive, and I starred at her and didn't respond. I just know she would say something.

Step sister just called with a very thoughtful apology. She felt awful and I told her it was okay. She said the whole car ride home, MIL talked about how maybe the hormones were why I was so grumpy tonight. Ha ha.
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  #5  
May 21st, 2009, 05:49 PM
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Well at least your SIL didn't give in and tell her when they were alone! Whew! I don't really think that is a 'lie.' You are trying to protect your sanity!

I am cracking up about the "no beer, she's TTC!" hahahaaha! That is so something my MIL would say.
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  #6  
May 21st, 2009, 05:53 PM
stlgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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well, glad she bought the lie. it's such a hard balance, telling those you care about but trying to prevent the whole WORLD from finding out. hope you don't have to wait much longer before your mil can shout for joy and be free to tell every single waiter she comes across to treat you special!!
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  #7  
May 21st, 2009, 06:02 PM
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So sorry!! It's frustrating and stressful enough to be going through this experience, but dealing with friends and family is tough! We've told some of our friends, but our families live 1000 miles away, so it's a little easier to keep from them. We have family coming in June for 2 weeks, so trying to get on JM might be a little tricky.
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  #8  
May 21st, 2009, 06:43 PM
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Sorry, its hard deciding who to tell and who not to and who you can trust to keep a secret. We haven't really told anyone except my mom, although many others figure we are. It's hard everyone has already expected us to be pregnant by now (including us), and I am constantly asked if I'm pregnant yet. and we didn't really tell anyone we're trying.
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  #9  
May 21st, 2009, 07:15 PM
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Thanks Everyone!

And Rachel, I miss seeing your posts, although I'm super glad you're not here anymore
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  #10  
May 21st, 2009, 07:17 PM
ChristaHeartsEvan's Avatar Member
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I am sorry. At least you covered it up well. I'm glad your SIL apologized and didn't mention anything else to your MIL.
You are too funny with the "No beer, she's TTC!" aha, that is something my own mother would do. LOL!
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Last edited by ChristaHeartsEvan; May 21st, 2009 at 07:20 PM.
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  #11  
May 21st, 2009, 07:20 PM
Em2528's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh man, thats horrible. Im so sorry. Your MIL sounds exactly like mine. I LOVE her to pieces, she would do anything for anyone, but has the tendency to not keep a secret if her life depended on it. My hubbys family is pretty known for gossiping..its kinda annoying. I keep everything to myself and dont share with family...enless I want the whole world to know all our personal info.
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  #12  
May 21st, 2009, 07:23 PM
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OMG Addie, that is a doozy!! Nice cover though, my brain doesnt work that fast lol.

I have chosen not to tell anyone except my best friend because I don't want people becoming prematurely excited, or asking me things all the time and me having to 'disappoint' them with no news.

On a side note, I can't believe she spilled the beans on your husbands proposal!!
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  #13  
May 21st, 2009, 07:26 PM
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That is horrible...it does suck when people find out when you don't want them too...I made the mistake of telling a lot of people we were going to try right away when we got married...BIG MISTAKE...I'm glad your MIL bought your excuse.
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  #14  
May 21st, 2009, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunbeam View Post
OMG Addie, that is a doozy!! Nice cover though, my brain doesnt work that fast lol.

I have chosen not to tell anyone except my best friend because I don't want people becoming prematurely excited, or asking me things all the time and me having to 'disappoint' them with no news.

On a side note, I can't believe she spilled the beans on your husbands proposal!!

Yeah, it was a bumber, but I didn't tell DH until after he proposed, which I think was the right thing. DH had bought the ring from his mother's jewler and she called me that day when I thought he was at work and just blurted it all out. She siad "DH is not at work! He's buying a ring and I can't believe you're going to be my daughter!" She was crying and sooo happy, but she just doesn't think. His whole family is like that, except for him!!
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  #15  
May 21st, 2009, 08:22 PM
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I'm really glad we didn't tell anyone we are ttc...I would hate to have people always asking "are you pregnant yet" it would drive me crazy or should I say crazier.

I'm glad you were able to keep your secret from your MIL...fast thinking.
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  #16  
May 21st, 2009, 09:19 PM
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Gawd I hate when people cross the line... That's why DH and I never tell people our personal business.... That's why I love being here because I can trust all of you.

After we got our BFP in Oct... and told DH's close friends and a friend of mine... people still like to ask about it and make comments about "when are you guys going to have kids"... i wish they'd just drop it.. it's a sensitive subject. Hopefully next month will be our month!
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  #17  
May 21st, 2009, 10:21 PM
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I feel the same way. I told people I was trying... and now 8 months later people are still asking... anything yet? So now i told everyone we're taking a break. It's a lie, but it keeps them off my back and me out of the gossip healines.
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  #18  
May 22nd, 2009, 03:15 AM
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Way to go for thinking on your feet. I don't think I could have thought up something so fast...
People just don't think... I've put on a bit of weight since we got married. we were out at a party one night and a friend of DH after a few beers starting telling everyone I was pregnant he could see the signs. I wasn't drinking and my bum and boobs have gotten bigger. I had people coming up to me all night saying congrats. I thought I'd kill him. He didn't know we are trying. But it was very upsetting.
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  #19  
May 22nd, 2009, 06:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebroche View Post
Way to go for thinking on your feet. I don't think I could have thought up something so fast...
People just don't think... I've put on a bit of weight since we got married. we were out at a party one night and a friend of DH after a few beers starting telling everyone I was pregnant he could see the signs. I wasn't drinking and my bum and boobs have gotten bigger. I had people coming up to me all night saying congrats. I thought I'd kill him. He didn't know we are trying. But it was very upsetting.

That's terrible! I think I would have slapped him. Who says that to a woman???
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