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So If you remember my period has been anything but consistent. Last month I was barely 24 days closer to 23, This month I was 29 days. So yeah I've been dealing with some serious emotions in the last two days... I don't know what it is about this month but I'm more depressed than usual. I knew it was unlikely. Due to my inconsistency and I'm still learning how to chart successfully, I decided last month to just try a longer span of time but on the day that I would have O'ed for a 28 day cycle I got really sick. I'm pretty sure now that was exactly when I did O. Maybe that's what makes it so hard. It's like what did I do that I'm just not allowed to have a baby? At least that's how I'm feeling right now. I even told the hubby that maybe we should just stop trying because it's obvious we're just not allowed. I know it's not true but that's what I'm feeling right now.
It really doesn't help that I'm still trying to convince the DH that charting is a good thing. He keeps going on about how he just wants to not use BC and that's it. He says it's because he sees how upset I get when I'm so sure this month is it because I charted it right and then it doesn't happen and I get upset. I've told him a thousand times EVERY month it doesn't happen is one I'm just as upset whether I charted or not! He isn't getting the message. He just says it's too much work and he wants it to be natural and I tell him charting IS natural but he keeps spouting how he wants it not to be a chore and it should happen naturally. I really don't know what he thinks is unnatural about charting, it's just information not affecting anything actually in my body at all. He's agreed to OPK's when we can afford them in like 2-3 months, so I can't even figure out what he means!!
I'm really getting to that hopeless feeling right now...
For me, DH has gotten a bit snippy about things like that during this journey too. The thing is... he wants a baby just as much as I do and he gets his hopes up right along with me. One month he got a bit snippy and was like "I'm tired of this guessing and thinking. No more of that crap." I was all like "Whoa..."
What it really came down to was that he was disappointed and didn't really know how to express it properly. I've found that sometimes it's a bit easier for him to react with a bit of anger than sadness.
So it's possible he's like my DH and is just disappointed and doesn't know how to convey it to you.
Hey...I feel your sadness! My fiance thinks that if we BD everyday then I will definately get pregnant. I prefer to chart and use OPK's but he don't want to spend money on OPK's anymore. I agree....charting is natural. You're still going to BD on your own. It's not like you're doing IVF. Charting is important, especially when AF is not regular. During my estimated fertile week (June 12-18), i had two very stressful meetings and a court date. I havn't O'd yet and I'm now on CD 25. If I hadn't been charting and watching my body, i would have assumed that I ovulated already. Just tell him you're watching you natural fertility signs. Another thing is, I don't think we realize that our DH hurt too. They hurt for us because they see that we're hurt and they know how bad you want a baby as well. Sometimes we need to hear strong words to keep us strong. Sometimes I think my fiance is being mean but he's only protecting my feelings. Good luck and keep your head up!!
Sorry you're having such a bad day... I just hate that hopeless feeling that you can't shake off! It's the worst. I know nothing we can say will fix it, but its nice just to know you're not alone in feeling that way. But of course you are 'allowed' to have a baby, as much as anyone else in the world is! Life isn't fair for sure, but at least it's randomly unfair. Bad things don't happen to us because we 'deserve' them. Hang in there! *hugs*
Oh hun we all understand how you're feeling...I've personally been there many times. **big hug** We are here for ya *hugs*
Healthy couples only have a 20% chance of getting pg every month. So it can take up to a year to become pg. Tell DH charting helps you know what's going on with YOUR body. I dont even discuss it with my husband...he gets confused anyway
Dont let yourself get down...you will be a mom!!!
Last edited by denalibear; June 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 AM.
charting helps. My cycles are all over the place, i o anywhere from CD 12- 16 and my LP usually adjusts itself to a 29 day cycle, but sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't...i have had from a 25-33 day cycle. At least when charting i know when i o, so i can plan on BD'ing at the right time. Believe me, it does make a difference. How long have you been trying?
Have Faith, Expect Miracles
SHHHH!! Don't mention Pregnancy on FB please!!
We've been trying for around 5-6 months now, but every time we think we got it something comes up or happens that messes everything up. I went off BC in January. The first two months was I was still not Oing from going off BC, something I was expecting because my mom and gma were both the same with BC pills, but we were trying anyway. In March my hubby was in a car totaling accident that gave him whiplash. Aside from the obvious stress it really hurt his back making things painful if not impossible for most of March. In April he got into a second accident due to his job at the time and because of it he lost the job (neither accident were his fault and were all due to his job's hours and location, it was in the hills where there are deer, which is what claimed our second car.) He couldn't go to work and so we decided to not try for May due to money. June I got sick the day of or before Oing. Yeah it gets to be a really frustrating thing after a while...
So sorry you are having a rough time. I really think charting is very informative. It's a way to get to know your body. If I hadn't started charting and learning about my cycle I would have never known that I wasn't ovulating and what help to seek. I hate that things keep getting in the way of you trying. It takes the average couple 6 months to a year to conceive so don't lose hope just yet. Hope your DH is feeling better. How scary two accidents so close together. Anyway, hope you are feeling better. We are all here for you if you need to vent!
Yeah we've pretty much come to the conclusion that we just need a don't ask don't tell policy, it's making things go smoother. I think a lot of his trouble is he thought it would take three months. He finally decided he was "ready" and now he's getting really frustrated because it's been 6 months. I kept trying to tell him but, being a man as he is, it never sunk in.