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Co-sleeping


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  #1  
November 8th, 2009, 04:32 PM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is not a debate. I wanted to share with you girls what I experienced today. Before I begin I want everyone to know that when you have a child you have the right to raise your child however you see fit; your life, your child's life, your decisions. As some of you know I work for the Sheriff's Office of my county and this is what we dealt with today.

These are the exact words from the police report.

"They stated at approximately 0030 hours they were getting ready for bed and the victim was crying and wouldn't go to sleep. The couple gave the victim a baby bottle full of formula which seemed to help. They then put the victim on top of a pillow in the middle of the bed and went to sleep. The reportee states that at approximately 0125 hours he woke up and found blood on him near his shoulder and in the bed; the victim was not breathing and he then called 911. There was a blood stain on the sheets in the center of the bed."

The family called 911 this morning to report their 2 month old son was bleeding from the nose and mouth.

This afternoon we were told the child had died. The parent had rolled over on top of the child; both parents were in the bed.



I don't want to sway anyone's decisions to how they parent their children, obviously I am more than sure you can guess what my choice is. I know there is a significant risk of SIDS associated with crib sleeping (which is now being linked to ventilation) but I cannot begin to imagine what it could have felt like to wait up, less than an hour later, covered in your child's own blood on you, in your bed, then the child to be pronounced dead the next day. It is simply for your information. To have to talk with the Department of Forensic Science about dead 2 month old due to co-sleeping was soul shattering, by far one of the worst things I have experienced and I hope and pray that none of us, our family or our friend, or their family or friends ever have to go through something like that.
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  #2  
November 8th, 2009, 04:42 PM
dansyl's Avatar Missing my angel baby!
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OMG! That's so sad! I let my chihuahuas sleep in the bed with us and i am always afraid DH will roll over on them... so always sleep on my side. I can't imagine having to wake up to that. I know that I will not let my newborn sleep in the bed with me. I can't imagine having to live with that. I'm not judging them... I know plenty of people that do it. I just can't imagine....
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  #3  
November 8th, 2009, 05:12 PM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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that is so scary! I too worry about it with the dog, but she usually sleeps locked in her crate. Its safer for everyone that way!!

I have seen a show on TLC where the parent fell asleep with the newborn on their chest and the child fell off onto the floor while the parent was sleeping only to wake up to their baby screaming and they couldn't find it.

It is way to scary IMO!! I am a big fan of the bassinet idea. I have taken classes on crib death and sids and hope to never have anything horrible like that. I am sure they never imagined that would happen to them either.

WOW!! That is definitely eye opening!
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  #4  
November 8th, 2009, 05:23 PM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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that is just so... theres no words! I cant even comprehend how that childs parents are feeling... I know my sisters all kept thier babies in bed with them at night ... and I plan on NOT doing that!!! thanks for the eye opener!!! HUGS
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  #5  
November 8th, 2009, 05:26 PM
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Oh Brandie what a horrible thing to have happen. I remember when our cat was a kitten he used to sleep between us and I was terrified that DH would roll onto him.
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  #6  
November 8th, 2009, 05:37 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Why was the baby bleeding?
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  #7  
November 8th, 2009, 05:42 PM
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That is such a sad story!!! I know myself that I move around too much when I sleep, and definately would be afraid of rolling on top of them. We will be buying a bassinet, because I still want baby in our room for a bit...but for me, not in my bed. Obviously that is just a personal decision, and perhaps if I didn't move around as much, then I might consider cosleeping.
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  #8  
November 8th, 2009, 06:43 PM
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OMG! That is horrible. I don't want to co-sleep; it takes too long to ween they off. My friend struggles with her 5 yr old that doesn't want to sleep in his bed. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I killed my baby rolling over on top of them.
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  #9  
November 8th, 2009, 06:51 PM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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i'd imagine the bleeding was a result of asphyxiation?
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  #10  
November 8th, 2009, 07:13 PM
amonstersmomma's Avatar Coetta Dawn
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OMG how sad for them! I've always been afraid of that happening with little ones. I think I'd be one to opt for a bassinet next to our bed. Plus our big ol' german shepherd takes up any extra space we leave Lol.
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  #11  
November 8th, 2009, 07:24 PM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is sad. We won't co-sleep.

I use to babysit for a couple and the wife slept with her parents until she was 16 years old!!! She in turn let her 6 year old and 1 year old sleep with them and her husband use to b*tch to me about how he hated that she let the kids sleep with them but she was an only child and her parents allowed her to sleep in their bed, so it's normal for her.
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  #12  
November 8th, 2009, 07:33 PM
MandyRS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Glad you called attention to some of the more unsafe co-sleeping practices, Brandie. I can't imagine tucking a 2 month old between DH and I on a pillow! I know some moms that do it say they sleep with one eye open (as in they are never really sleeping) but I can't see how that's healthy for mom and thus baby! My heart goes out to the family who lost their baby nonetheless.

For those interested in the concept of co-sleeping and attachment parenting but worried about safety risks, look into a co-sleeper bassinette. That's what we plan on doing, and for us this is a way to get the benefits of co-sleeping without worrying SO much about the risks (which of course, are never totally eliminated no matter where baby sleeps ).
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  #13  
November 8th, 2009, 09:11 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't know you start bleeding from asphyxiation. I thought you just stop breathing and that was it. That's so sad.
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  #14  
November 9th, 2009, 06:22 AM
~Caroline~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, what a sad story.

I am not against co-sleeping, I know many parents who do it safely and who wouldn't have it any other way. I've already determined it's not for me though. I move a lot in my sleep and I'd be too scared.
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  #15  
November 9th, 2009, 07:55 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daneeleigh View Post
I didn't know you start bleeding from asphyxiation. I thought you just stop breathing and that was it. That's so sad.
Our Child Advocacy detectives had to schedule a reenactment last night because they think that the baby was injured (somewhat crushed) do due being rolled on top of. We first thought that the baby was in a crib and the parents went in and found it like that, once the investigation started we found the rest out. DHR and the Department of Forensic Science is going from there, but so far they conclude that the injuries were from being rolled over on.

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  #16  
November 9th, 2009, 10:43 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That would make more sense. It's still such a sad story. Me and DH actually had a long talk about this topic once I told him. It led to a long discussion about more parenting topics we wanted to be on the same page with.
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  #17  
November 9th, 2009, 10:56 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have to say that DH and I did the same thing Danielle. I have heard of many stories where people co-sleep and everything is fine and dandy and have read articles from mom's who co-sleep and they say they don't actually "sleep" and have read comments about how they say it is impossible for them to roll on top of a baby and so on. I didn't do it to sway anyone's opinion because everyone has their own rights to their choices, but usually during co-sleeping the child dies from something like this, even though it is used because parents are scared of SIDS, the child dies from being suffocated, crushed, stuck between the headboard of foot board, falls from the bed, or trapped in the sheets.

It was just something that I wanted to share because it isn't something you really think about until someone else goes through it. It is just so sad. Also, I thought you might like this link too Angelcare Baby Monitor | Babyphone and Baby Movement Sensor and not to be bias on choices Arm's Reach® Baby Bassinets - Baby Bedding, Furniture, Cribs, Co-Sleeper&reg Baby Bassinets and Baby Delight, Inc. - Products to Delight Your Baby!
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  #18  
November 9th, 2009, 11:02 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree Brandie, I don't look down on anyone elses choices. Me and DH just don't think this would work for us. I would not be able to sleep just from being terrified of crushing them. DH definitely feels this way, he said he wouldn't be able to sleep in the bed with the baby for that fear. I'll be fine with a bassinet. I like the idea of the baby's bassinet attached to the side of the bed like that but DH said he's just too weirded out by it. He's very old fashioned lol.
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  #19  
November 9th, 2009, 11:32 AM
MandyRS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for posting the links Brandie, I've been planning on the Arm's Reach since I worked for a family that used it. So convenient! And Danielle, if I were you I'd put my foot down on this one... after all, it's not DH's milk that baby's going to be crying for at 3 am, so he's not the one who has to get out of his warm bed! Of course it's a personal choice, but if you ever feel like it might make your life easier, I hope he'll come around.
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  #20  
November 9th, 2009, 11:34 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You know Mandy, that's a good point when it comes to the breastfeeding. I didn't even really think of it that way lol. Hmmm, food for thought when I get my BFP.
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