[IndyMommyWannabe]

so last night was a close friend's 30th birthday party. One of her other friends (who I know/have hung out with once or twice in the past with them) is pregnant and expecting her first next month! She and her hubby are excited about it...but I also know that this was definitely not a planned pregnancy at all.

In fact my best friend (who's part of that group and has been there for this girls' wedding, baby shower, etc...) told me that she's really NOT been happy throughout the pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I could tell last night that she IS excited about it and looking forward to meeting her daughter...but she also kept making comments about how "miserable" she's been throughout her pregnancy and how it's not agreed with her...etc...etc...

Now I know I can't wear a big badge on my forehead that says "I'm infertile - please be kind" But ****it sometimes I want to so bad! Nope. All I could do was smile, nod, and say all the right things...

God did it make me so mad/sad/everything in between to hear her talk about how "miserable" she's been at points during her pregnancy.

I would do anything to be that "miserable"...

rant done. just needed to share with those who'd understand.

T minus 2 days til our RE appointment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[junie22]

[SammyJ]

(((HUGS))) I definitely know how you feel. We haven't been trying as long (only technically six months of anovulation) but it's tough. Really tough especially when it seems to come so easily to others with no rhyme or reason. I just don't get it. I really don't, but I definitely don't blame you.

Sounds like in spite of it all you've got a good attitude toward the future! That is definitely the best mind set to be in. Hope you get to be "miserable" soon

[martinchic]

Wow Keri Ann! That must have been so hard to sit there and listen to that, and still be polite!
It seems so unfair sometimes that people who dont plan/want babies can have them, yet there are others out there struggling to conceive.

I hope for your sake (and sanity!) that you dont really have to see much more of her for a while!

[IndyMommyWannabe]

lol. thanks guys. she IS a very nice girl and - I absolutely wish her a very healthy delivery and baby...it's just getting harder and harder and harder to deal with. I also know I can't BLAME her by any means because, of course, she has no idea what we're going through - and again, I can't put that badge on my forehead and I couldn't bring anything up and say anything (especially out of respect for my husband who was sitting across from us).

It just sucks that it's such a "silent disease". And most people do not understand - which I totally 'get' that. I do. So instead we suffer in silence.

it just sucks. but what can ya do?

[dibbers]

totally understand your feelings hun ive had a mad moment when i deleted alot of girls of facebook who MOAN the whole way through their pregnancies and keep saying how they cant wait to have a drink!! if only they knew how lucky they really are maybe they wouldnt take it for granted!

[Tammyms]

I've actually started being vocal to people when they make those comments. Not in a rude way, but I'll say something like "I'd give anything to trade places with you" or "not everyone gets to experience being a mom, I think you're lucky." And really I didn't care if it came off bad or not, whether I knew them or not. For the exact reason you said, it's a silent disease that no one talks about.

I do understand that when we all get our miracles we'll have aches and pains and moans and groans, I'll just be careful where I voice it

[HopeTea]

I bet a lot of us here on JM will be some of the most grateful, non-complaining pregnant women EVER when the time comes! I know I don't plan on taking a single second for granted! I feel lucky sometimes that there aren't any pregnant women in my circle of friends. I bet it would be hard not to be jealous or frustrated from time to time..

[blueeyes25s]

There isn't any thing I can say to make you feel better but your RE appt is right around the corner which means you are that much closer to getting your BFP. Good luck!!

[Belita]

I get it. I should be miserable right now! I can't talk to my best friend right now because she's 2.5 weeks ahead of where I was and complains about how miserable it is. I'm like BE GRATEFUL YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BABY!!!!

I've actually decided the best thing for me is to be vocal about my loss. I actually posted the "What Makes a Mother" poem on my Facebook yesterday as my "coming out." I also hid everyone I know who's pregnant on my Facebook.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I really hope that the RE appointment brings you your You deserve it.

[IndyMommyWannabe]

you ladies are truly the best. thank you all so much for allowing me to rant about this!

it's funny, too...this girl - she and I actually dated the same guy right before I met DH (over 5.5 years ago! dang!) - and we had no idea each other was dating said guy...lol
she told me last night she heard he'd gotten divorced from his wife...who was also her now-husband's ex-fiance!

less than 48 hours to our RE appointment! More like 40!

[KatieKat]

Just wanted to give some more s.

A few weeks ago I met a girl through a friend, and ended up siting beside her for a while, and all she did was complain about her pregnancy and how she didn't plan it, and how she didn't want to be pregnant etc. At one point she guestured at my drink (AF was around so I was still drinking) and said something like "I guess you're not planning on having kids now ..." or something like that and I was so shocked. WTH? I just met you right? I shrugged and smiled and said "guess not" and then tried to ignore her for the rest of the night.

Anyways, sorry to rant on your post! RE appointment tomorrow?? How exciting!!

[Coley]

Girl, I feel your pain!

I know a girl (I'm NOT calling her a friend anymore) who is due on Super Bowl Sunday apparently. I've fussed about her before and her inability to remember how difficult IF is. Since we've moved out of the area, the last time I saw her was at her shower. She knows how long we've been at it, always complains about being hot, uncomfortable, tired, feet hurt, etc. Since she seemed to have so little interest in our life (never asking how it is for us) I made the decision to keep my distance.

So the other day she texts me saying she hasn't heard from me in a while, etc. I reply same stuff, different day, waiting on comcast tech. She replies "I am freezing! Normally I am hot right now and can't cool off but not today! When I say normally I mean right now because I am pregnant."

LIKE I FORGOT?!? It seriously feels like she's either completely oblivious to how painful this is or she's intentionally rubbing my nose in it. Either way, I really don't wanna be bothered with someone that insensitive. I know I'm kinda fragile about it all, but my other friends are aware and supremely thoughtful... Is it too much to ask for some consideration from the one pregnant chick?!

I know it's probably ugly, but I was happy to see the Patriots beat the Ravens yesterday! Her DH is a Ravens fan... So I was like "you can have the house and baby, but NO SUPER BOWL FOR YOU!!!"

[IndyMommyWannabe]

Originally Posted by Coley

I know it's probably ugly, but I was happy to see the Patriots beat the Ravens yesterday! Her DH is a Ravens fan... So I was like "you can have the house and baby, but NO SUPER BOWL FOR YOU!!!"

[Nicholle ttc]

So sorry Kerri Ann, that you had to go through this. Good luck at your RE appt, I'm hoping you'll get good news!

[IndyMommyWannabe]

Originally Posted by Nicholle ttc

So sorry Kerri Ann, that you had to go through this. Good luck at your RE appt, I'm hoping you'll get good news!

Thanks. Like I said, it's not like she KNOWS what we are dealing with, so I can't truly blame her...I just hate being in the situation in the first place...can't I just ignore all pregnant women from now on? is that possible???

[dansyl]

I'm so sorry. I understand how you feel. Right now there are like 6 girls at work that are pregnant and none of them were planned and all of them walk around and complain about how miserable they are and what are they gonna do now. One of them has 5 kids already and can't take care of the ones she has and someone mentioned she give this baby up for adoption. She said if she has to go through all the pain she is keeping it. Selfish. Just selfish.

[Nicholle ttc]

Oh, sometimes I wish it were possible--everyone is pregnant these days!!!