[IndyMommyWannabe]

I want to change my user name to HumptyDumpty....why? because we are broken. both of us. I'm Humpty and DH is Dumpty...

And our ONLY option is for all the king's horses and men (aka the Fertility Doctor) to put us back together again...and our only super glue is in vitro...

ya know...it's not even the procedure itself...I'm ALL for medical science and would jump in head first if it didn't cost $14,000!!!!

I just want to know why it's SO flippin' easy for the "drunk cheerleader" to go get pregnant just by looking at a guy yet we have to FINANCE our child???!!!!!!

sigh. sorry i'm just a bit emotional right now. this just sucks.

The doc basically told us - knowing both of our histories and the fact that he's 38 and I'm 32...and that even if him having the varicocele surgery was successful - it still wouldn't be a 100% guarantee since I do have a blocked tube. And - since she can pretty much guarantee insurance wouldn't pay for the varicocele surgery (mainly because it's not anything that causes him 'pain') we'd be paying close to what IVF would cost anyways...

I have NO PROBLEM with the procedure itself...I know that IVF is an awesome thing. I just HATE that I have to "finance" our kid!



this just sucks. seriously.

course, too, she also wants me to lose some weight - long story short, I've gained/lost/gained/lost weight literally like 20 times in the last 20 years - and I'm talking 50 pounds at a time - i'm so sick/tired of dieting! now I KNOW the best/healthiest way to go is low carb (the way I lost 30 last time...) and i LIKE low carb but it's so freakin' hard!

sorry i'm just having a pity party. ...

One good thing - my husband is all about starting IVF asap. so I know he's totally on board and wants to get the ball rolling!

whereas I just want to go curl up into a corner and cry...

[Belita]

I'm so sorry. I saw your thread title and immediately said "Oh, no!!" I was so hoping you'd get good news from your appointment today!

[Tammyms]

I'm in the same boat! I wish IVF was a sure thing, I'd no issue forking out the $ if it was 100%! We're going ahead with it, but scares the heck outta me to think we could do it all and still have nothing... or orientation is Thursday/Friday this week!

Do you need time to digest or will you be going ahead with it?

PS - I should be losing weight too, my city won't do IVF on me because of my BMI so we have to go to a different city. But PCOS has made me hit a brick wall everytime I try so I've always given up

[IndyMommyWannabe]

nah, my RE is perfectly fine with us waiting a few months...but she's concerned - because of our ages - if we wait tooo long...well you know.

and again, i know how wonderful and awesome IVF is - I just HATE the idea of financing our baby!

She did sorta switch my medication up though...I've been on metformin for years (due to insulin resistance - although I do not have PCOS...) and, again, I LIKE low-carb, absolutely believe it's a VERY healthy way of living...(i just do love my carbs...) and I was low-carb for 2 years...(but dang those carbs are addictive!) anyways - she put me on a different form of Metformin (Glumetza) which are 1000mg pills instead of 500 (so I only take 2 / day instead of 4 / day)...and it's also supposed to help with the...um...gastroentestinal issues...(yeah, you know! lol).

and it's not like i DON'T want to lose weight - it's just on top of everything else, losing weight has been on the backburner...but apparantly it needs to be front and center. and i'm not joking, i've gained/lost/gained/lost the same 50 pounds literally 6-7 times in my lifetime...i'm tired.

[Tammyms]

I'm so sorry you got the news you did When we got told IVF was our only option my doctor actually said to me "Edmonton doesn't deal with people that have a BMI as high as yours, you'll have to go to Calgary where they have more experience dealing with chubby people like you". Talk about a double kick to the gut!!!

I agree with you, I wish it were much easier for those of us who really want this vs. the people that don't and it happens for anyway!

[Cait&AngelAbove]

I am so sorry!!!

[blueeyes25s]

I am so sorry. I was really hoping to hear great news but the good news is, is your husband is ready to go ahead with IVF.

I understand your frustrations with the $ part of it. I work with a lady who tried for 13 years and ended up having IFV; she took out a second mortgage of $30,000 to have her little girl. She said she thinks of it as no different that taking out a loan for new car with the only difference being a child you have forever and a car you will have for a short time. She said she doesn't regret loaning the money for a second!

I just wanted to share this story because I thought her perspective was a great way of looking at it. I hope you are able to figure it out and get your BFP.

[junie22]

I'm so sorry, Keri-Ann. I hope that when you do go IVF, you're a success story on the first try. Yes, it's an expensive BFP, but I'm sure you'll think it's worth it in the end.

I'm just so sad to see women like you struggling, when all you want is to be a good mother... while I see so many terrible parents popping them out like bunnies.

Just sending you

[IndyMommyWannabe]

thank you guys so much...you really don't know what it means to me to have all of you on here.

[HopeTea]

I'm so sorry to hear this... It really doesn't seem fair sometimes. I hope the IVF works for you right away, and you'll be able to put all this behind you and have a healthy baby to make it all worth it!

[SammyJ]

I'm so sorry for all that you are going through and all of these obstacles that are headed your way. I just wanted to send you some (((HUGS)))

[Wizza]

I'm sorry things didn't go so well at your appointment and I'll be crossing my fingers that you get a surprise BFP before you get to the IVF. I've been low-carb for almost 9 months now and have lost 43 pounds so if you decide to go back on the diet you can always talk to me about it.

[martinchic]

I'm so sorry about this! I was hoping you would get good news at the RE!

My fingers are crossed for your surprise BFP. You truly deserve it!

[Nicholle ttc]

I'm so sorry Kerri-Ann, I thought it was a go after DH had surgery--I had no idea insurance wouldn't cover his surgery. That stinks! I agree with the other ladies, it will be worth it in the end and you'll be such a good mommy.

I've had weight issues most of my life as well. I still have about 15 lbs to lose, but I'm in the healthy weight range to conceive. If low carb works for you then go for it. If it doesn't, and maybe you have already tried this, but I do weight watchers. I lost 35 lbs in 7 months. It's lower carb, but you still can eat carbs and not cut them out completely. Again, Im so sorry. I agree with you 100%, it's not fair that a loving caring family has to finance their child and others can have a drunk one night stand and conceive!

[JandJC]

I'm sorry Kerri-Ann. It broke my heart to read this thread. Just know that once you have that baby in your arms nothing else will matter! I hope and pray that you are successful!

I can also totally relate to you on the dieting...I always struggle with my weight. I've gained 40 pounds since meeting DH And I always go low carb to lose it. But can never stick with it!

Sending T's & P's your way!

[KatieKat]

Keri-Ann, I'm so sorry. I had hoped you would hear good news as well from your appointment. I'm glad that DH is totally on board and excited about it though. I wish I had an extra $14,000 to give to you! I agree with what Adrienne said - it's so hard to see how you're struggling, when you want so badly to be a mommy and you'll be a great one, and see all these people who really shouldn't be having kids having no problems. It's really not fair at all!

Lots of s.

[Coley]

I'm sorry Keri. I know that "ton of bricks" feeling. I had it after our third failed IUI when I went in to discuss the possibility of trying with injectables and he shot it down in favour of IVF.

I'm the same as you, I have no problem with IVF and if that's what it takes to bring me my child, then I will do it without hesitation. But it's only natural to grieve for the loss of the chance for a natural conception.

Everyone says "when the baby comes, you won't care how you got it..." I take a bit of issue with that because it misses the larger point. I think I would always feel slightly sad that our child had to be created in a lab for thousands of dollars and not our marital bed.

I am grateful for the technology we have, but for me, it has made the baby making process so much more sterile and clinical. It has taken what should be an expression of love and commitment and filled it with speculums, ultrasounds and centrifuges.

So I hope you find some solace in the fact that you are not alone in these feelings... You know there's never a need to apologise for voicing your TRUE feelings here, it's the only safe place some of us have left...

[KMH]

I hear ya, Keri-Ann, and I wish I could reach out and give you a huge hug DH and I have spent over $25k on fertility treatments for the same chance at a family that most people get for free. Instead of going on fabulous vacations, living in a nicer house, helping my Mom fix-up her house, investing in college funds for kids, etc...we get to pay $$$ for a chance at a family. It is basically gambling with doctors and needles instead of chips, and it really, really sucks. Please know you aren't alone in feeling this way.

[sandibeach]

Oh wow I'm so sorry! I know what you mean ppl who get pregnant with out meaning or wanting to - its just so unfair! Praying for you!

[IndyMommyWannabe]

You all are seriously so awesome! I checked this thread on my smart phone, after work, right before driving home...and you all had me balling on the way home! lol

I seriously can not begin to describe how much all of your words mean to me right now.

I know I'm not alone....it just feels that way sometimes. God how I wish I could meet every last one of you in person and give you all hugs.

I know it'll happen - and again, I really can't wait to DO IVF...I just can't... no...I don't NEED to think about the money...