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How to turn down baby shower invite...


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  • 1 Post By kbpeanut
  • 1 Post By plan4fate
  • 1 Post By plan4fate

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  #1  
July 14th, 2012, 07:29 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Strictly because I'm having a tantrum and not wanting to go?

My uncle married a wonderful woman a few years ago (I know her better than I do him...), she had two kids my brother's age. They've since divorced, but she will always be family. Her oldest, who is my Brother's age (I think she's either 20 or 21) is pregnant and having a little boy.

We've been trying for 5m, not using anything for 8m. We are married. And we just got some health news that is going to put ttc off for a while (I can't discuss it on open forum, and don't have access to the private), if we aren't already pregnant. I'm feeling a bit bitter, and I don't bloody well want to go.

I usually have a 2000 mile gap as an excuse. But I won't. We will be there when the shower happens. My family doesn't know we're trying.. they're going to complain if I don't go.

Any ideas on how to decline short of having a friend from the city (hr away) say we've already got plans and going up there and driving around all day (cause I think my friend is working lol) to get out of it?
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Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #2  
July 14th, 2012, 07:37 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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That's a tough one. I would personally, if I really couldn't suck it up, just find some reason to be out of town for the day.
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  #3  
July 14th, 2012, 07:54 PM
Crystallee's Avatar Host of the Dec 2012 PR
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I used to make up an excuse if it was someone fairly distant but if it was someone I felt like I knew or was close to/related to I would honestly just suck it up. It usually was never as bad as I had pictured and gave me a chance to buy itty baby things. I tried to not let myself get in a situation where me not going because of ttc could hurt someone else's feelings about why I wouldn't want to come, especially since I was a stay at home wifey so no work excuse or anything.
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  #4  
July 14th, 2012, 08:15 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I'm not close to her at all, and have been rather bitter about her pregnany. I may have tolerated it had we not gotten the news about my test result from my uti screen.

My bff is off that day, she didn't even ask why I didn't want to go, said she'd tell my grandmother DH and I were spending that afternoon with her and it'd been planned a while.
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #5  
July 14th, 2012, 08:48 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Personally... I say, if it's going to be emotionally damaging for you to be there... then DON'T GO!! There's nothing wrong with saying to yourself that you're not in an emotional place where you can handle this right now. There's nothing wrong with protecting your own feelings, especially when they're a bit raw from newly learned unpleasant medical news.

If you're feeling as bitterly about things as you say, that's going to come across in your body language. To protect the feelings of the Mom To Be... it may be best to send a gift with a card expressing regrets due to a prior engagement. It sounds like you've got a great friend who has given you a solid "out".

These are tough situations... but ones that we inevitably face, and you won't always make the same decision. Sometimes you'll go... you'll want to go and it'll be great. So if the timing of this particular shower is a bit more than you can take... I say there's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting it out.

Hope that helps...
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  #6  
July 14th, 2012, 11:55 PM
Crystallee's Avatar Host of the Dec 2012 PR
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Yeah if you guys aren't even close at all, I wouldn't worry about it. When it is someone distant, I kind of doubt that she would think much of it if you turned down the invite.
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  #7  
July 15th, 2012, 07:20 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I doubt she even knows I was invited. Heck, I'm not sure she'd ever recognize me on the street. Her mom is throwing it.

She's having a boy, I have a blue baby blanket I made last fall on DH's dresser. It was supposed to be for a future esty shop, or future baby... but maybe I'll take it home and send it off with my grandmother. DH had wanted me to hold onto them.. so I'll have to talk to him.

ftr.. I NEVER buy baby gifts. Last baby shower I attended where the gift wasn't a handmade blanket, hat or coat was in high school.


Thanks girls. I hate feeling so bitter all the time....
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #8  
July 15th, 2012, 07:30 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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I think sending the blanket is a great idea. I LOVE that you don't "buy" baby gifts...having something handmade is super extra special! My cousin's wife is like that to...she makes handmade teddy bears for any new arrivals...they are uber cute, and one of a kind!
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  #9  
July 15th, 2012, 07:58 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kbpeanut View Post
My cousin's wife is like that to...she makes handmade teddy bears for any new arrivals...they are uber cute, and one of a kind!
Aww!!! Wish I was a member of YOUR family!!!
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  #10  
July 15th, 2012, 08:08 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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I don't know if this link will work, but here is a pic of Munch (Mabel) holding her "This is how old I am" sign, which is always propped on that bear:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater

Ahhh, here's a better picture of it:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater
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  #11  
July 15th, 2012, 08:12 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I don't know if I'm crafty enough to make a teddy. I have in the past... didn't turn out so well. But I can crochet pretty well.

Made this last spring for my bff. Her first was a little girl who was stillborn, then had two boys.. when she found out she was having a girl, I made this. They use butterflies to symbolize their angel


I made this last year for DH when we were going to be separated by 2000 miles and a non yet finalized divorce. That's all hand done, including the binding. I don't think I'm rid of the blisters yet. lol



it's relaxing yet stressful all at the same time for me.



My grandmother says I don't have to send a gift as I'm only invited because the rest of them are. So we will see what I decide to do. She said I can sign her gift if I want, since they don't want me to attempt to try and take too many gifts over the border in 2 weeks.. they'd rather I get the ones for family and my bff's kids over.
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__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014

Last edited by plan4fate; July 15th, 2012 at 09:10 AM.
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  #12  
July 15th, 2012, 08:19 AM
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Super awesome!!! NICE work!
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  #13  
July 15th, 2012, 08:33 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Boo!! FB won't let me see the pics!

I can't even see the pics posted in Ashley's post... weird.
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  #14  
July 15th, 2012, 08:43 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coley View Post
Boo!! FB won't let me see the pics!

I can't even see the pics posted in Ashley's post... weird.
To see those, I had to right click and view image in new tab!

I will get the Munch pics on my FB
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  #15  
July 15th, 2012, 09:10 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I fixed them Nikki. I had copied the web address rather than the image url into the picture field. Didn't get much sleep last night. lol
Coley likes this.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #16  
July 15th, 2012, 01:09 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Nice work on the crocheted blanket!!

I've made one really simple lavender one that I have packed away. I'm in the midst of working on another one now. I don't know the stitches well enough to follow a pattern yet, so mine don't have any designs or anything.

Great job though... seriously!
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  #17  
July 15th, 2012, 01:14 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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that's actually one of the simplest patterns ever! Basic Granny square sewed together. the butterflies were a pita.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
Reply With Quote
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