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Keep it to yourself please (rant)


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  #1  
February 11th, 2013, 05:16 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: **Cloud 9**
Posts: 577
Uggg so this coworker of mine is 50 yrs old with three grown kids. We've worked together for five years and we developed a casual office friendship. But in the last year or so i have gotten quite sick of her. She has told EVERY personal experience she has ever been through at least 5 times, and she started in on one AGAIN today:
(I would like to point out it was my mistake in the first place to even start telling her about TTC, but anyway....)
I was telling her I was so sick of baby carrots but I am determined to conceive this month. And then I started to tell her about the things that I am trying this month for TTC, THEN (oh she has this NASTY habit of interrupting ppl and it drives me crazy) she starts in on how my husband and I are probably not relaxed about this and we should have more sex and that "dr oz says you should have sex everyday as a stress reliever" (personally I think dr oz is a quack) and that SHE had three, no, four kids (one miscarriage) without even trying........

And I'm like.........

SHUT UP about your kids
SHUT UP about your sex life (oh yeah she's divorced.....two sides ppl!!! Two sides....)
SHUT UP about your pregnancies
SHUT UP and stop interrupting me EVERY TIME I try to tell you something
SHUT UP about your miscarriage
SHUT UP about Dr Oz (god! It's like she invented him or something)
Just SHUT UP!!!!!!

phew that felt good
Oh boy...I was angry....just plain boiling. The other girls and guys I chose to talk with just say "practice makes perfect" or some other encouragement....WHY CAN'T YOUUUUUU?????

Ok...ok....I'm done.....
So yeah....Monday whine for me!
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  #2  
February 11th, 2013, 05:22 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,608
Yeah, some people just tend to give too much info when you bring up TTC. I'm sorry that she is being so frustrating lately.

To prevent it from happening in the future, I wouldn't bring it up in front of her again. (I'm sure you wouldn't after this experience anyway.) If she brings it up, just politely change the subject. Or even walk away from her. Hopefully she will get the hint.

I think a lot of people just don't know what to say. But they should realize that telling a couple TTC how easy it was for THEM to get pregnant is not appropriate.

Wish I could give you a big hug!!
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  #3  
February 11th, 2013, 05:26 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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DEFINATELY my mistake...I get starved for attention sometimes I'm a back corner...I just have to keep reminding myself she is NOT my friend
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  #4  
February 11th, 2013, 05:28 PM
Nerd
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I know Dr. Oz is a quack. But it doesn't stop non scientific types from following him in hoardes. My grandmother loves him.
ErinBoshnyak1985 likes this.
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Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #5  
February 11th, 2013, 05:31 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,608
Erin, I don't think it was your mistake. You should be able to talk about things and not get idiotic responses from people. *lol*

Sam, my grandmother loves people like Dr. Oz, too. She also loves Dr. Phil and Judge Judy.
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  #6  
February 11th, 2013, 05:38 PM
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At least I can laugh at Judge Judy!
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Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #7  
February 11th, 2013, 06:25 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Carolina
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I'm sorry! Some people just think they know everything about ttc. It is frustrating! I also don't like Dr. Oz.
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  #8  
February 11th, 2013, 06:29 PM
Super Mommy to be
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,141
sorry you're so frustrated...
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Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
'Blessings' by Laura Story (What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise)
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  #9  
February 11th, 2013, 08:21 PM
Nerd
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Okay now that I am on my laptop and not my phone I wanted to add a couple of thoughts...

I realize that some people love Dr. Oz. And what I said about "Dr. Oz is a quack" may be upsetting to some people and it's not a very clear statement. Allow me to rephrase: On the occasion that Dr. Oz does make a recommendation from studies and 'scientific data' he is generally perverting claims or reading from sources that are not credible. There. That's a more accurate statement.

Also, big hugs because it can be so frustrating when people interject their thoughts/stories/ideas/opinions and you really just wanted a shoulder to lean on or an ear to hear you. (Haha, I feel silly for making those Dr. Oz comments now...look at the pot calling the kettle black!) I hope your coworker DOES keep her mouth shut next time. I know that I have a few friends that mean well but have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to TTC and pregnancy.

So hang in there! We're here for your ranting!
ErinBoshnyak1985 likes this.
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Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #10  
February 11th, 2013, 08:31 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,608
I just thought of something ridiculous that people keep saying to me that frustrates me. People keep telling me that we should just drink a bottle of wine and DTD and it will happen.

First of all, I don't drink anymore, and my DH doesn't drink wine. Secondly, if having several drinks and then DTD was all it took to become instantly pregnant, this would have already happened to me during my college years. *lol*
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  #11  
February 11th, 2013, 08:38 PM
Nerd
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Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
Something ridiculous that people say to me: "Oh you're so young! You have plenty of time! You should wait and finish school first." Really?

There are so many reasons why I think that my husband and I are READY for a baby. School factors in at the bottom of that list, thank you very much.
ErinBoshnyak1985 likes this.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #12  
February 12th, 2013, 04:56 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059
So sorry Erin! Sometimes people don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Sounds like she is a lonely old woman.
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TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #13  
February 12th, 2013, 05:15 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks everyone! I'm glad there are others that think Dr Oz is a total quack. I should let my husband debunk him sometime. He isn't a dr but he can usually tell when someone is just spouting nonsense. Oh, I love DH!
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  #14  
February 12th, 2013, 12:13 PM
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Sheesh that woman sounds like a PITA! You did better than I as I probably would have said at least one of those shutups!

Oh and strange but i;ve never even heard of Dr Oz, guess he hasnt made it to the UK. from your comments I dont get the impression im missing much tho!
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  #15  
February 12th, 2013, 08:06 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: **Cloud 9**
Posts: 577
@jen: oh yeah! I totally wanted to....uggg it's so hard to hold your tongue....but funny thing is --- she would probably interrupt me when I said it!!!!

As far as I know (I don't have tv so I'm almost as clueless as u are) Dr Oz is a talk show where these Drs come on and talk about different health issues....like Oprah, they take this nut as gospel. For instance, Dr Oz apparently severely debunked the popular Dukan Diet and said it didn't work-------hmmm, that's funny....then how did I lose 140lbs (65kg? Um, 10 stone? )? Prove THAT with your precious science!
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  #16  
February 14th, 2013, 10:27 AM
ericalynnxoxo's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 98
Hi everyone, I am new here and I have a TTC rant also. DH and I have been actively TTC for the past 8 months. We didn't use any protection for a number of years before we started trying and it just never happened on it's own. This is why I get so aggravated when ppl tell us to just relax and it will happen. I just spent the past 6 years having sex when I wanted to and didn't think about getting pregnant or not, and guess what (IT NEVER HAPPENED)!!!!! I also get sick of hearing about ppl that are having yet ANOTHER baby and I know they need another baby about as much as I need a hole knocked in my head!!! I also know someone that conceived naturally with irregular periods and she told me that she thought I was trying too hard by taking prescription meds to get pregnant! I could go on and on, but it feels so much better to get all of this out
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  #17  
February 14th, 2013, 11:22 AM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
Erica, TELL ME ABOUT IT
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Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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