Log In Sign Up

Ugh, didn't mean to do that . . .


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree4Likes
  • 1 Post By ImALittleTeaPot
  • 1 Post By Cait&AngelAbove
  • 1 Post By momology
  • 1 Post By Nicholle ttc

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Trying to Conceive Your First Child LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 16th, 2013, 02:12 PM
ChiChica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,251
I just totally snapped at my sister-in-law. I have two pregnant sisters-in-law who are due in May, and one of them had their baby shower today. There is also a third sister-in-law who is not pregnant (I'll call her #3). I love #3, but she asks me when we are going to have a baby EVERY time I see her. For 10 months of trying --- all of the tears, my PCOS diagnosis, all of the tests, etc. --- I have to be asked this every time. She has one kid (doesn't plan on having anymore), which whom she got pregnant accidentally. She has no idea how painful it is to ask someone that.

Anyway, she asked me MULTIPLE times today, and I just couldn't hold back any longer. I didn't mean to sound snippy, but I think I did. I told her that it isn't that easy for everyone, and that we've been trying for a really long time, but it just hasn't come easily for us. I couldn't help but sound upset when I said it. Ugh, I did not mean to let that cat out of the bag. At least she'll hopefully stop asking
Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 16th, 2013, 03:09 PM
Super Mommy to be
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,146
THat is one reason why I never asked people that question, cause you just don't know what someone is going thru....... I was asked this many many many many times by EVERYBODY for the first 10 years we were married (it's slacked up now)....I didn't really care because we weren't trying..I only cared when people made it out that I was selfish because I didn't give my parents grandchildren....I did tell a few people that they should be careful asking women that because even though this wasn't the reasons we didn't have kids but a lot of women try and can't and I could imagine it would be painful......

I'm sorry you had to deal with it...maybe she'll stop asking so much now!
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
'Blessings' by Laura Story (What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise)
Glorious Ruins
Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 16th, 2013, 06:36 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,319
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
*hugs*

I'd probably have done the same thing. I've lost my cool more than once... especially lately. I'm not as nice as you are about it though.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
Reply With Quote
  #4  
March 16th, 2013, 07:26 PM
BabyBirdies's Avatar over the rainbow?
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Manhattan :)
Posts: 1,822
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know it sucks to be pushed and pushed like that - I am very lucky that we haven't gotten that as much, but I almost did it to a friend who asked if I was pregnant. I was like, No! And then my friend told her that you can't ask people questions like that

But at least now she probably won't ask as much
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmum for the siggy!
My fertility blog: Only Infertile



NTNP since March 2012, TTC since August 2012, HSG = one blocked tube, SA = normal, 1st RE 7/11 - took a zillion tests, 2nd RE appt = Tubal issue with PCOS tendencies, possible polyp, August 2013 - possible polyp, September 2013 - new job, insurance change! January 2014 - new insurance, March 2014 - new RE appointment, then surprise BFP!

Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 16th, 2013, 08:09 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
Don't worry. It sounds to me like you were actually pretty nice about it. I would have probably said something pretty harsh. And anyway, I think it serves her right. Now she will know not to ask again. I'm sure she isn't upset with you at all. She's probably just embarrassed at herself for obviously crossing the line and asking something inappropriate.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 17th, 2013, 05:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Derbyshire, UK
Posts: 4,982
I think you handled that pretty well considering. I think I wouldve said something much less polite.

We dont get asked that much at the moment but I'm guessing its going to step up once we're married. Before we got engaged, all we got was ' when are you getting married' and that was plenty annoying. pregnancy questions would be a whole new level of crossing the line

__________________

Thank you Vicki for my amazing siggie!

Reply With Quote
  #7  
March 17th, 2013, 09:10 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 517
I agree with everyone else, I think you handled it perfectly!

There are two things that, in my opinion, are never OK to ask a women: When is your baby due? (She might not be pregnant no matter how pregnant she looks) and When are you going to have kids?

But people are impolite... I am sick to death of my best friend telling me "You should have a kid," as if it's that flipping easy. Just because she got pregnant her first month off of BC. And she's such a dang know-it-all that if I told her hey "I've been off BC for almost 3 years, to back the *** off." she would just butt in even more and tell me EVERYTHING I'm doing wrong. As if I'm not sick to death of her bragging every chance she gets (to an audience of 200+ people on facebook) about how she is going to breastfeed her 2 year old every chance she gets until the kid loses interest. Sorry... //rant.
__________________


Woo, you can check out Amy's crazy temps right here.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
March 17th, 2013, 09:11 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 517
I agree with everyone else, I think you handled it perfectly!

There are two things that, in my opinion, are never OK to ask a women: When is your baby due? (She might not be pregnant no matter how pregnant she looks) and When are you going to have kids?

But people are impolite... I am sick to death of my best friend telling me "You should have a kid," as if it's that flipping easy. Just because she got pregnant her first month off of BC. And she's such a dang know-it-all that if I told her hey "I've been off BC for almost 3 years, to back the *** off." she would just butt in even more and tell me EVERYTHING I'm doing wrong. As if I'm not already sick to death of her bragging every chance she gets (to an audience of 200+ people on facebook) about how she is going to breastfeed her 2 year old every chance she gets until the kid loses interest, or telling me I should be sharing her links to organizations that offer free breast pumps so that all my friends will see it too, because I want my friends to start asking me if I'm pregnant? Sorry... //rant.
__________________


Woo, you can check out Amy's crazy temps right here.

Last edited by Boolajoojoo; March 17th, 2013 at 09:14 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
March 17th, 2013, 11:27 AM
ChiChica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,251
Thanks everyone. The worst part was just that she talks as if I would be pregnant if I only wanted it badly enough. It kills me. If wanting it were enough, I'd be pregnant with quadruplets by now.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
March 17th, 2013, 12:56 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nebraska, USA
Posts: 1,021
I wish it was that easy... If people who really truly wanted babies could just get pregnant on the first try and the people who get knocked up after one night who weren't even planning on it couldn't get pregnant until they wanted it! Wouldn't that be great???

Only problem with that plan is that I know several people (including myself AND my sister) that wouldn't be here... But it's a great thought and would definitely cut down on stupid comments from other people!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
March 17th, 2013, 12:56 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nebraska, USA
Posts: 1,021
I wish it was that easy... If people who really truly wanted babies could just get pregnant on the first try and the people who get knocked up after one night who weren't even planning on it couldn't get pregnant until they wanted it! Wouldn't that be great???

Only problem with that plan is that I know several people (including myself AND my sister) that wouldn't be here... But it's a great thought and would definitely cut down on stupid comments from other people!
ChiChica likes this.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #12  
March 17th, 2013, 03:33 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,628
It is hard to not just snap when people make comments. I am sorry you had to deal with that!
AshleyO likes this.
__________________


Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
Reply With Quote
  #13  
March 17th, 2013, 07:25 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,294
I am so sorry you had to go through that - it is so frustrating. I think you handled it well!! I recently made someone feel very bad because I cried when they asked. Oops. . . I feel like there should be a public service announcement telling people it is ride to ask people if they are pregnant or when they will have a baby.
ChiChica likes this.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!

Expecting our first baby August 25th, 2014!!!


Reply With Quote
  #14  
March 17th, 2013, 07:31 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
I second what all the other ladies have said.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
March 18th, 2013, 06:52 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059
I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but you handled it really well. I don't think that you went off on her at all. People can be so insensitive and ignorant. A lot of us have had to do the same thing. Always know that we are here for you!
ChiChica likes this.
__________________
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:37 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0