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"My wife beat you to getting pregnant!" *GRR*


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  #1  
April 4th, 2013, 01:12 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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Location: Pennsylvania
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A friend from college just e-mailed to tell me that his wife "beat" me to getting pregnant. I don't mind that he wanted to share his happy news with me, but the way he worded it really makes me angry.

This is their third child, by the way. They had agreed not to have any more children, and she got pregnant behind his back on purpose. Again. The same thing happened after they had their first child.

I am sick of people wording things so insensitively. I just told him "congratulations" and left it at that. I figure that if I don't have anything nice to say, then I shouldn't say anything at all.
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  #2  
April 4th, 2013, 01:37 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I'd have had your husband reply back with "congrats, now next time my wife sees you, she's going to beat YOU for being an insensitive moron."

But we aren't very classy people here
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  #3  
April 4th, 2013, 01:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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What an insensitive jerk (also insert *******, ****, ******* idiot). I wouldnt have even offered congratulations!
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  #4  
April 4th, 2013, 01:42 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What a jerk! I am so so so sorry you had to deal with that!
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  #5  
April 4th, 2013, 01:54 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is terrible!!!!! I would have had a hard time responding at all. So sorry someone was so rude and insensitive to you.
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  #6  
April 4th, 2013, 01:58 PM
Nerd
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Are you SERIOUS????


That's ridiculous. You have a lot of patience because I think I would have wanted to say something really inappropriate in response.

What. A. Dummy.
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  #7  
April 4th, 2013, 02:41 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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Thank you, ladies, SO much for the support. I feel a lot better already. Thanks for sympathizing with me.

I just feel like he was trying to rub it in my face. Besides, who says that someone else "beat" you at getting pregnant? I feel like he might as well have said to me, "My wife beat you at the spelling bee! Nannie-nannie-boo-boo!" *lol*
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  #8  
April 4th, 2013, 03:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Nebraska, USA
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What a d-bag! (only semi-nice thing I could think of to say because "jerk" wasn't gonna cut it!)

What kind of "friend" does something like that??? Since when is growing your own family a contest???? OMG.

You are a better person than I, Reba, because your response of "congrats" was so much nicer than mine would have been.

Humanity... I tell ya, we have a whole bunch of winners. Let's hope their kids grow up to have more class!
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  #9  
April 4th, 2013, 08:00 PM
denalibear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow...so sorry...what an a$$hat I swear I think people have completely lost the ability to filter their thoughts.
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  #10  
April 4th, 2013, 08:19 PM
Super Mommy to be
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oh my how insensitive...so sorry...I know that cut deep hugs to you
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  #11  
April 4th, 2013, 10:07 PM
Super Mommy
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Location: USA
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Wow, some people have no class.

This is why I keep the fact that we are TTC a closely guarded secret IRL. Nobody knows. It's obnoxious enough that if I complain around friends or co-workers about a stomach ache, nausea, or feeling tired, someone always has to say "Oh, you're pregnant!" like... what the heck? I don't even know how to respond.

I am sorry your friend is a turd. It sounds like you handled it gracefully, I would have probably stooped to his level... but maybe he didn't even realize he was being a turd.
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  #12  
April 5th, 2013, 05:08 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
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Yeah, I don't think I could have responded at all, but I think that is nice that you offered a congratulations. Though it's difficult to reply so positively, I do believe in karma, so you did the right thing. I would be pissed though....
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  #13  
April 5th, 2013, 01:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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That son of a.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insert bad words here!
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  #14  
April 5th, 2013, 03:44 PM
ChiChica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Chicago
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Gross. I would have had to go radio silence on him, because I would not have been able to muster a "congratulations."
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  #15  
April 5th, 2013, 05:43 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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Location: Pennsylvania
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Thank you so much for the wonderful support, ladies. You are the only people who understand just how hurtful these kinds of comments are. I appreciate all of you so much. I'm so grateful to have such a loving, supportive place to come.
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  #16  
April 5th, 2013, 05:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Nebraska, USA
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I agree, Reba! We've got a great place to come find support, don't we!?!?!
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  #17  
April 6th, 2013, 09:20 AM
zonee@gmail.com's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 216
I agree that person is an a$$hAT lol. No one should ever say that to another person. I have friends that were pregnant and mc at 10 weeks, a month or so after that his brother called to say he and his gf were pregnant & "who would of thought i would have a baby before you two". If they didnt loose the baby, theirs would have been 2-3 months older. People can just be insensitive to others, keep your chin up; it will all work out.
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  #18  
April 6th, 2013, 09:55 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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Jeralynn, this is definitely the best place for TTC support I have ever found!!

Zonee, thank you so much!!
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