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What did your friends say......


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  • 1 Post By plan4fate
  • 2 Post By Mbwebb11212

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  #1  
May 9th, 2013, 03:36 PM
Mbwebb11212's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Tewksbury, MA
Posts: 355
When you told them you were going to be charting or using OPK's? My friends can't seem to understand why I want to do it.

I am a very Type A kind of person and I like to plan everything and be as prepared as possible. I realize that there are a lot of things in life that no matter how much you prepare for it there are things that will surprise you but this is just me. My DH and I just bought a house and we're moving in this weekend. We decided that we'd hold off on trying until August just so we can used to the new bills, etc. but I figured why not chart and use the OPK's so that I know when I'm ovulating and therefore when we're ready to start trying I'll know when the best time for BMS is.

All of my friends have said why don't you just try and see what happens. They all think I'm just adding stress to myself and I said, when have I ever just waited to see if something happens. I'm impatient and like preparing. I also understand that even if I chart and use OPK's and have sex at the appropriate time I still may not get pregnant and yes that can be stressful but for me, I think it would be more stressful to just try without knowing when I'm fertile and every month wait with baited breath to seem if AF comes.

Sorry, just had to vent lol. And just to give you an idea of how much I like to plan/prepare, for my wedding, I maintained a spreadsheet with everything on it, a timeline, what I needed to buy and when what my budget was, etc and for the house I have worksheets with our monthly income and what all of our expenses will be, our savings, what house items we need and how much, etc. LOL
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  #2  
May 9th, 2013, 03:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,227
I don't think that it is bad to be prepared for things and smart about budgeting etc. If that's the type of person you are than that's just who you are. My friends told me the same thing. I am trying the Aun Naturale approach. Yes it is killing me because I am not POAS every day but I am learning to relax.
I will say this though, I was temping and taking OPKs (temps starting CD1 and OPKs about CD 11) and around CD 14 I was getting day after day of positive OPKs, thought WTH?! I was pregnant, ended in a CP but still. Things happen when you least expect them sometimes. Turns out I was stressing DH out. Good luck to you and try the route that you think will fit you best at first.
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  #3  
May 9th, 2013, 04:34 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,612
I only told one friend besides all my friends on JM that I am using OPKs. She didn't think it was odd because she wanted to get pregnant quickly and she also used OPKs. I have discovered that a lot of people have no idea what OPKs are or that they are available, though. My mom didn't.
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  #4  
May 9th, 2013, 07:28 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
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I so get your vent. I'm a planner, too. I wanted to plan so that I could have a baby inbetween semesters. Well, that plan didn't work.

Yes I have had friends and others say, "You're so young! Why don't you wait a little longer? You can't plan for these things anyway." Oh yes. Yes I can.

I've pretty much stopped talking to people other than a select few about my TTC. Family other than my grandmother doesn't know.
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  #5  
May 9th, 2013, 09:13 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Only a few of my friends even knew we were ttc until Christmas time when i slipped up and said something on facebook. Only... one? maybe two irl friends knew we were trying and using all the bells and whistles. Only one more knows about the opks and such, my hubby's ex wife... we were oohing and ahing over my opks this afternoon when she picked up her son (he was hanging with me so she could shop with sanity).
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  #6  
May 10th, 2013, 06:01 AM
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I have one friend IRL who knows we are actively TTC and one friend who knows we just aren't using birth control.

I've told my friend who knows,we are TTC about the OPKs. I really thought she would think it is neat or fun and she thinks its crazy! Se went on about how I am stressing myself into not getting pg and its going to be so much work. And now she is constantly going on about how trying too hard will make it impossible for me to get pg....

I've stopped talking to her about TTC. I really don't think it adds any stress to my life to POAS once a day. If it was stressing me out, I'd stop doing it!

I do wish I had more friends to talk to about TTC but I am super happy I have JM to go to for venting, successes, and failures!
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  #7  
May 10th, 2013, 07:01 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have 2 friends IRL who know we are actively TTC - and 1 of them totally gets the temping and OPKs and everything (she recently had twins from IVF so she realllllly gets it) and and my other friend who knows got pregnant on her first month trying. So she doesn't really get it but she is the super sweet supportive type.

I think it would stress me out more to tell people and have them react that way. We actually were never planning to tell anyone we were TTC but life had other ideas for us. I am sorry that your friends reacted that way but luckily in the end it is totally your choice and you can do whatever you want And you always have us on here to support you!

Ashley - I love how well you and L get along. Yall are really amazing, and what a great environment for Reme!!!
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  #8  
May 10th, 2013, 07:07 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
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Girl, I'm totally like you -- the queen of spreadsheets, lists, budgets, etc! Aka Type A personality. I take charge and plan like you do. Don't apologize for wanting to take control of your personal health!

That said, I have told one friend that I'm actively TTC, oh and my mom/sisters. But other than that, I keep it private.
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  #9  
May 10th, 2013, 07:28 AM
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There's only one friend that is 'thinking' we maybe TTC....NO friends know for sure except my friend who is my nurse so she has to know....

but it's all up to you how you want to plan......advice form family/friends is good sometimes but can be a bit much other times :s
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  #10  
May 10th, 2013, 07:35 AM
Mbwebb11212's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Tewksbury, MA
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I'm so glad I'm not alone you ladies really are the best. It's so nice to have a place to go to talk about this stuff without someone thinking you're crazy. I suppose I can see where they're coming from. If I think about it from an outsider's perspective it might sound like a lot of work that would cause unnecessary stress but seeing as so many of you share the same POV as myself it makes so much more sense. There's nothing wrong with us actively TTC utilizing tools.

Thank you for making me feel better
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  #11  
May 10th, 2013, 01:54 PM
BabyBirdies's Avatar over the rainbow?
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I think it's about different kinds of people - they don't have to understand as long as they can respect what you want to do.

I am also a planner - I started temping once we got off birth control, rather than waiting. I didn't want to guess - why guess, when I could know? Especially given that my body doesn't ovulate like clockwork? Really useful to know! Don't worry too much, but yes, I think there are lots of people who are like, yeah, why stress yourself? BUT I would find it more stressful to not know
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  #12  
May 10th, 2013, 07:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nebraska, USA
Posts: 1,021
what everyone else has said so far...

I just want to know what my body is doing. That's why I started temping the DAY I went off the pill. Sure, back then I didn't know everything I knew now.

My three best friends know (to different degrees) that we're trying. One knows that we're off BCP, two know everything. One of those two struggled to get pregnant with her first and I thought she'd totally get it. She doesn't. I was heartbroken when I told her and she said I needed to just relax and have fun. The other knows everything plus my frustration with the other friend! She doesn't care what we're doing, she just hopes we are successful!

BUT... I really don't like talking about it. I actually feel more stressed knowing that people in my every day life know what's going on in my romantic life. Ya know???

But that's why we have this board with these wonderful women who GET IT. We're all on different paths and trying different things, but we know that we all want little bundles of joy and that we'll keep doing crazy things and peeing in cups and on sticks and posting pictures for our forum friends to see. And I get solace in that. And I hope you do too!!!
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  #13  
May 10th, 2013, 11:02 PM
Julie321's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 743
I am NOT a type A personality, but I like to know what's going on with my cycle so I can make the best of it.

The first month when we were TTC, I got pregnant right away. I had a chemical and miscarried the next day. After that, I went a bit nutso with reading and doing everything in my power to get pregnant again quickly.

I don't temp (maybe next cycle) but watch closely for symptoms and this month was my first using OPK's. I also use a fertility tracker app to monitor when I should be ovulating, when I have ovulated in the past, and to keep my symptoms logged.

I've become obsessed. Talked to my mom about it, she thinks I'm crazy. But hey, whatever makes you feel better, right?
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