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When you get PG, do you want to know the gender?


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  #1  
June 3rd, 2013, 04:35 PM
BabyBirdies's Avatar over the rainbow?
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Based on a convo going on in another thread, I thought it might be fun to talk more!

So, would you want to know the gender?

Why or why not?

~~

My answer - we don't want to know. DH and I talked about it a lot, and since we'd have picked out names but wouldn't want to call the baby that yet until he or she was born - it'd be really weird to know, know the name and not call him or her by name. So, no gender for us. I want things to be gender neutral anyway, so that's not as much of a problem...

how about you ladies?
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  #2  
June 3rd, 2013, 04:59 PM
ArmyWife28's Avatar Praying for a Miracle
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Yes. DH & I would like to know. We have our names picked out but I'm too much of a control freak to not find out it would eat me alive! Lol
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  #3  
June 3rd, 2013, 05:05 PM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
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Good question! I think we would want to know. Hopefully one day I'll let you know what we decide to do.
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  #4  
June 3rd, 2013, 05:13 PM
Ariw's Avatar Veteran
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Dh and I have talked alot about this too.
We don't want to know (as of now..this could totally change once we become pregnant((and it sticks!))
DHs reasoning is we get so few surprises in life and this is one he wants to have.
Im on board but if he decided he wanted to know then I'm down for that as well.

I think once we are pregnant and several months in where it starts getting "real" then I will be itching to find out...I think he may be too...We'll see

And yes we have names picked out too..3 for girls and 2 for boys....
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  #5  
June 3rd, 2013, 06:03 PM
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We definitely want to know! DH is a planner so he wants to know what to plan. I just wanna know. Surprises drive me bonkers.
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  #6  
June 3rd, 2013, 06:54 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Yes, not knowing isn't an option. LOL.

With both of our families being quite far away (550 miles for his, 2000miles for mine) we think it will help them with the bonding process.

As I mentioned in the other thread, I want a girl. There WILL be gender disappointment if we have a boy on my behalf. I would like time to adjust and get over myself before the baby arrives. Dh has no preference on gender, though he does think a little girl would be sweet because that would give him one of each.. and I'm less likely to ask for yet another baby if it's a girl

Though we will choose a name, we are leaning towards not telling anyone what name we choose until we announce the birth of the baby. I mean.. the interwebs will know, Lora (the ex) will likely know. Reme wont because he would blab . Reme also isn't being told until we a- can't hide it anymore or b- reach viability. I am expecting to end up telling him around the time we'd find out the gender, because I doubt I'll be able to hide it much longer even as fluffy as I am.
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  #7  
June 3rd, 2013, 07:29 PM
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I'm undecided. I have always wanted a family of boys... So I do fear gender disappointment and I would like time to adjust before the baby is born. I have no doubt that I would love girls as much but I think I would like advance knowledge.

On the other hand when I got my last BFP I said to DH, it has already been decided and I didn't care about gender. But maybe with a longer pregnancy I would feel differently.

DH is unconcerned with gender... He just wants a little buddy to take in the tractor with him!
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  #8  
June 3rd, 2013, 07:32 PM
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DB doesn't want to know, but I do... so who knows what will happen when the BFP shows it's pretty face. I guess I'm a bit of a control freak in that way... but as long as it's healthy then I'm happy. I just want to be a mom in the worst way that it doesn't matter what I have.... but I do still want to know
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  #9  
June 3rd, 2013, 08:01 PM
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I would want to find out what we were having. We already have two boy names and two girl names picked out. It is our desire to have two kids and as long as they are healthy it doesn't matter if they are boys or girls.
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  #10  
June 3rd, 2013, 08:15 PM
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YES I will want to know. I'm a planner.

What might be cool would be for me and my husband to know the gender but not tell anyone. Of course this would be quite the feat for me because I would be so tempted to spill the beans.
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  #11  
June 3rd, 2013, 08:16 PM
BabyBirdies's Avatar over the rainbow?
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I feared gender disappointment when I started this process - but it's funny that all my baby dreams have been about boy babies, so that's sort of helped me get over that But it's a real thing, and I get that entirely.

Loving reading people's thoughts
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  #12  
June 3rd, 2013, 08:26 PM
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DH & I have talked a lot about this... we don't care if we have boys or girls, and right now, we don't have names picked out...

I think it would be cool to not know. Have it be a surprise until delivery. DH says that there's already so much surprise about delivery: when it will happen, what it will be like, what kind of personality baby will have, etc. So he thinks we should just find out to add some more surprises along the process, ya know?

I'd LOVE to keep the gender and definitely names a secret as long as possible. But I know I'll probably let gender slip. I will not name a baby until I see them. If my mom had gone with her choice name, I would have been a Megan. I'm SOOOO not a Megan, probably not even a Meghan. But the moment she saw me, she knew I was a Jeralynn... a name that hadn't even been on her list.

So... that's where I stand.
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  #13  
June 4th, 2013, 05:50 AM
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I think we'd like to know too..I'm a planner and I think it would help DF to bond with baby. Hopefully this is a decision we'll get to make soon!
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  #14  
June 4th, 2013, 05:56 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We would want to know. Although I honestly dont care what gender. I started off really wanting a boy and then switched to girl and settled on really not caring.

I agree with you Jess, we don't want to call the baby by their name until they are born so in our discussions so far we decided that we would have a few names picked out (at least 2) and then decide when we see the baby. I am just so excitable that I don't think I could wait. . . I am very impatient and not great with surprises
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  #15  
June 4th, 2013, 07:15 AM
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I have always wanted to wait until delivery to find out the sex of the baby. My Mom has always told me what a special moment it was to have them say it's a boy or it's a girl as they hand you the squirming bundle of joy and find out the gender at that moment. I just think that moment would be awesome.

Of course, being me, I also have practical reasons. If we don't know the gender then we will buy gender neutral things and decorate that way as well so when (hopefully) baby #2 rolls around, we will be well prepared regardless of the sex!

DH really would rather know earlier but it is not super important to him (as it is to me) so he is accepting my wishes. I have told him and myself that I am not holding me to it and if I change my mind while pregnant, then so be it! He may decide he feels more strongly about it at that time or I may change my mind so we will just wait and see what happens.

As a side note, I don't need time to prepare for gender disappointment as I would like both/either genders.
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  #16  
June 4th, 2013, 09:01 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariw View Post
Dh and I have talked alot about this too.
We don't want to know (as of now..this could totally change once we become pregnant((and it sticks!))
DHs reasoning is we get so few surprises in life and this is one he wants to have.
Im on board but if he decided he wanted to know then I'm down for that as well.

I think once we are pregnant and several months in where it starts getting "real" then I will be itching to find out...I think he may be too...We'll see

And yes we have names picked out too..3 for girls and 2 for boys....
My DH has this same sentiment. But I really want to know!!

Echoing what you said...when it starts to get real, I have a feeling he'll change his mind.

This is going to sound bad, but I want to be able to find out b/c I know I will be wee bit dissapointed initially if it's a boy. I want a little girl so badly!
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  #17  
June 4th, 2013, 10:18 AM
jessicake's Avatar Veteran
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We would find out We are planners! LOL! I couldn't not know Hubby really wants one of each gender, so the first he won't care either way. At this point for me, its been so long I just want a baby!
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  #18  
June 4th, 2013, 09:44 PM
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Heck yes I want to know!

I am cool with either gender, but I want to be able to pick out gender appropriate clothes and nursery themes and everything.

Also, having to spend your whole pregnancy referring to the baby as "it" doesn't sit well with me.

I am okay with boy or girl... I do worry a bit that DH will have gender disappointment issues. He only ever seems to talk about having a son.... :\
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  #19  
June 5th, 2013, 06:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boolajoojoo View Post
Also, having to spend your whole pregnancy referring to the baby as "it" doesn't sit well with me.
I have thought about this and we will probably just use a pet name for the bump. Not sure what it will be yet but it will probably be cutesy.
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  #20  
June 5th, 2013, 09:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I have always said that I don't wan to know but I think I do now. I know that DH would (as he puts it hehe) hog tie me up and drag me to the doctors office! It's so funny how everyone in his family asks us, what do you want? DH used to be all about the "I want a boy", now at almost 6 months TTC all he replies with is " I just want a baby"

DH wants to know if we are going to have the fourth of him coming into the world lol. I don't have a choice on our 1st sons name. If it's a girl, game on!
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