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Trying to stay positive...(DF New Job)

Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child


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  • 1 Post By girlsofsummer
  • 1 Post By Jen@FirsAve

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August 2nd, 2013, 08:04 AM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,962
I knew the time would come...........that DF would cave into the $$$$ and go for a new job.

He got a phone call at 7 PM Wednesday night- a job offer for a company he's worked for in the past. Out of town work, 4 days on, 3 off. He'll either be in Iowa or the Dakotas. He will only have to drive an hour and they'll pick him up in the van and haul him out/down there. All lodging is paid for- and $25/day for food expenses. His take home pay went up quite a bit from what he is getting now- an increase in about $300/week.

The money will be nice, we need it. But its going to be so hard for me to get used to being home alone during the week. I love having him home every night. I told him that no amount of money is worth it for him to be gone, I'd rather have him home every night. And not to mention, TTC. I'm trying not to stress about it right now..........and that when its meant to happen it will. But I hate thinking about how minimal our chances are that I will ovulate when he's home.

The only good part of all of this, is that my work is flexible enough that I can take Fridays off and be home with him for 3 day weekends. That will be nice. So at least I get to spend time with him while he's home.

I'm just trying not to get overwhelmed......and panicky. I tend to overreact and start thinking about all the bad things that could happen. He is so easy going- he says everything will be fine and he'll call me every night before bed. I know its only 4 days at a time........but I hate it.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Mommy to

Brooks Kinlee Barnes
6 lbs 13 oz 18.25"

One Angel in Heaven lost @ 6Weeks 2/7/2013
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August 2nd, 2013, 08:32 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!)
Posts: 2,366
It is totally natural to overreact and think of all of the bad things first and get worried. I think I'd be worried if you were happy/not sad that he was going to be gone 4 days a week!

So how far away is he total, hour-wise? Your plan for taking Fridays off sounds like a great idea.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would throw myself into a new activity, or class, or hobby. Something that gets you out of the house on one or two of those nights that he is gone. And I'd Skype with him and talk daily, just like normal. Try to have Skype dinner together 2 or 3 of those nights.

Think of it this way -- this doesn't *have* to be permanent. Give it a shot, and if it truly isn't working, then he can look for something else. Try not to think of it in a definite way -- everything is quitable and fixable.

Otherwise, when it's ttc time, being able to BD three days is still pretty darn good. And, let's say he gets home late Thursday and leave very early Monday, you still have those days, too.

So -- it's ok to be sad and be unsure, but we are here for you!
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Mirielle Margaret born 4/24
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August 2nd, 2013, 08:35 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Derbyshire, UK
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I'm so sorry hun, on the bright side it sounds like a great opportunitity for DH.I dont have much advice to offer but I know when I was doing training for my job and away for 3 days at a time, it just meant we made the most of the time we did have together - ya know rather than just sitting together watching tv or something.
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Thank you Vicki for my amazing siggie!

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August 2nd, 2013, 08:56 AM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,962
Thank you ladies. I already feel better just talking to you about it.

I have no idea how far away his hotel will be......they said its just on the inside of South Dakota, so he has to travel across all of Minnesota to get there. I'm guessing somewhere between 5-6 hours away. Iowa is another place he may get sent, and that will probably be 6-7 hours away.

We do plan on talking at least every night, I'm not sure if we will be able to skype....I know nothing about it, does he need a computer to do that?

And you are exactly right..........this doesn't have to be permanent, we can change it if we dont like it.

I completely agree with that too, Jen. That our time together will be more valuable now and maybe we will get out and do some fun stuff together.
Mommy to

Brooks Kinlee Barnes
6 lbs 13 oz 18.25"

One Angel in Heaven lost @ 6Weeks 2/7/2013
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August 2nd, 2013, 10:35 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,643
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He needs a Wifi connection and a web camera device... so laptop, desktop, cell phone, ipod etc for skype. We have it on multiple devices and it's how we stay sane while he's gone. We love us some skype.. heck... we even Bought Reme a device with Skype on it so he could chat with his dad

*hugs* I know exactly how hard this type of life is. Not only did my dad work 10 on, 4 off, 10 on, 4 off... my entire life... but unless I travel with him Woody is gone up to 6m at a time. The money's awesome, but the lifestyle and the time apart sucks.

Stay busy, find a hobby, volunteer, craft etc. all are good ways to pass the time. I also recommend having cable, an online streaming account and a lot of online friends to keep you busy
~TTC #1 together 3 years and counting ~

Currently trying naturally while saving for IUI

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Vitamins started August 2nd. Hoping to see specialist in 2015
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - bfn
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August 2nd, 2013, 03:52 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,629
I'm sorry! My advice would also be to find something to keep you busy in the evenings.

Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
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August 2nd, 2013, 07:22 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 94
I'm so sorry - I'm about to start dealing with pretty much the same thing. It's not going to be fun but hopefully it will be worth all the trouble. Ditto to the comment on quality time...I think it will be a great way to strengthen our relationship. I hope you're able to adjust to it as well as you possibly can, and that it won't get in the way too much with your TTC.

3w 4d - 7.6.13
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