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Sorry I haven't been here in forever ladies! Hope everyone is finding out answers and getting success!
So last time I visited, probably in February, I had just experienced my first loss. Sac measured 5 weeks on ultrasound, beta was rising but nowhere near doubling every 2 days like it should and I was supposed to be 6 weeks along. Sac was empty. Then started to miscarry.
Second miscarry happened in June, 1 week after my father in law passed away. With this baby, my beta was doing what it was supposed to, baby's heartbeat was 118bpm, baby measured 5 weeks 6 days but sac was only 5 weeks 2 days. So far, I think this loss had the most emotional impact on me bc I got to see the baby a couple times and hear it's heartbeat. Aw it's heartbeat! It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard!! Miscarried just short of 7 weeks.
Third loss I probably wouldn't have even known I was pregnant, but I was in a wedding and I was going to drink and it was about that time to test so I peed on the stick. Came back barely positive, but it was positive. Had a beta drawn on Thursday and it was only 4, so basically hardly pregnant. By Monday, my beta was back to 0. They told me it was chemical pregnancy. So after this one, insurance approved more testing (since they denied it after the 2nd one and since all my other test are all normal). So ended up getting 17 vials of blood drawn after this one. All test came back normal except for a blood clotting one. It's not Factor V, but something like MHFTP or some initials close to that. Just means that my blood clots too fast. Put me on baby aspirin and an extra 5000mcg of folic acid.
Went back to my daily life and I was just waiting for AF to show up so I could do another Clomid cycle. Well on Monday morning, September 16th, I noticed my nipples were super sensitive and sore like they have gotten the past 3 times I was pregnant. So the next morning I peed on a stick and it was POSITIVE!! Had my beta drawn that same day and it was 329, the highest it's ever been! I was so excited since we got pregnant on our own, so obviously we can get pregnant but we can't stay pregnant, and my beta was so high I had such high hopes!! Progesterone was really low like it had been for the last 3 pregnancies, so they put me back on progesterone suppositories, filled up a prescription of folic acid (follbee) and had me stop the baby aspirin and switched it out for Lovenox shots. Gosh I was so hopeful and had such a good feeling about this 4th pregnancy but 2 days later had another beta and it barely dropped (329 to 302). Then 4 days later due to the weekend, it had dropped again from 302 to 267. So there goes that good feeling. Stopped everything I was doing and taking and started to miscarry again 2 days ago.
Now we're trying to get it approved through insurance for my husband to get tested to see if it's something wrong with his chromosomes since mine came back normal.
So now everyone's caught back up on me. I'm about to break. I feel so fragile and I don't know if I can take much more of this. It's just such a roller coaster of emotion every time! I've wanted to have a kid and be a mom since I was a kid myself! I don't know what I'll do if I can't have my own or if my husband can't have a kid! I'm so scared!!
Sorry, but glad you knew you could come back to the boards for support.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 'Blessings' by Laura Story (What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise)
Sorry about your loss.
I too, am in the same boat as you. I just had my 4th loss on the 17th of this month. It is very hard and makes we wonder if it will ever happen for me. I'm almost too scared to try again. Don't know if I can handle another m/c. I am going to give my body a couple months rest then see what happens.
Best of luck to you.
"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."
I hope that you can get some answers and someday soon get your sticky BFP. Remember that we are all here for you, its such a great support group when you just need to vent to ladies who have been there. We're not just here for the good times, we're here for the bad times too. Hang in there.
I dont really have any advice to offer but wanted to let you know that, if you havent visited already, the ladies on the TTC after loss board might be able to offer you some more support. I know a few of the ladies here who suffered losses found it helpful
I'm so sorry that you have had to go through all of this. I can't fathom what you're going through. Unfortunately I don't have any advice to offer but I will keep you in my prayers. We are all thinking of you and will listen any time you need to vent.
I am so very sorry about your losses. I am so glad you came back to the boards to give us an update. The only advice I have to offer is never stop talking to people - your husband, friends, or ladies on JM dont bottle up your feelings and dont set up a time limit to grieve. If you want to join us over on the trying to conceive after loss board there are some amazingly supportive ladies who have some wonderful advice. Please PM me if you ever need to talk.
Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing new siggy!!
Thanks so much ladies! Really appreciate all the kind words of support and encouragement. It's so rough and I never thought this would happen to me. It's all so much!
Hopelessly wishing, I know exactly how you feel! I really want to keep trying right now but I think my body just needs rest so we're going to not try for the next couple months to let my body recover and my mind!
My husband did get his blood drawn yesterday for his chromosomal testing so fingers crossed that it comes back normal and my body just needs the break! Then hopefully we'll get that miracle baby!
I think the only thing worse than not being able to get pregnant is not being able to stay pregnant, that takes a lot of strength. I'm sooo sorry you are having these difficulties, and I am praying they identify the issue, get you sorted out, and you get a sticky BFP soon!