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Telling people you're TTC???


Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  #1  
April 24th, 2005, 07:14 AM
groovie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,974
Does anyone else have a problem with this??? Being that dh and I are TTC our first and we've only been trying for a couple months, we haven't told anyone. My questions is how do i respond when people ask me "when are you going to have a baby?" and "Are you pregnant yet?" I work with a bunch of women and this really gets on my nerves. If I tell them 'we're trying" then I don't want them asking me if im pregnant yet all the time. Does that make sense?
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  #2  
April 24th, 2005, 07:50 AM
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We have made a pact not to tell anyone yet that we have been ttc since October. We have actually told one set of friends and made them swear not to tell anyone and the only reason we told them is that he is our chiropractor and I felt he needed to know that there was a possibility of being pregnant when he adjusted me.

We respond to others by saying "we're not ready quite yet; financially, things aren't there yet; or, when I get my full-time job then we will start". I know that everyone is excited for us but they don't understand the stress that they put on us when they continually ask.
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  #3  
April 24th, 2005, 08:16 AM
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Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
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I find it rude when ppl keep hounding about when we're gonna have a baby. We've been TTC since last Nov. I got pg right away but it ended in m/c in Jan. When ppl ask that question they don't consider m/c, they don't consider the fact you might have financial problems, or infertility problems or that you're just not ready I would just tell them that sometimes these things take time and sometimes they don't always work out as planned/on the first try. This should give them just enough info to think that something else 'might' be a factor in your TTC journey and hopefully too they might think they've stepped on toes a bit by asking.

I got pg again this month and we're not telling anyone till the first trimester is over. We also chose not to tell anyone when we were TTC right from the very start.

I don't ask ppl that question, b/c speaking from experience sometimes its a question you're just not ready to answer regardless of the case.

Sorry if this post sounds a bit angry, I don't mean it to be but I understand the stress you're going through. Just be upfront with them without having to tell them the entire truth if you don't want to.

Good luck!
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  #4  
April 24th, 2005, 03:30 PM
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I guess I'm a little different from you all. Pretty much everyone knows we're trying. A lot of people also know about my m/c back in Feb.

I don't really get asked if Im pregnant yet...maybe because people know about the m/c...and they realize it will take time. Although many people do ask how I"m doing...but they don't say "are you pregnant yet?".

I don't mind people knowing Im trying...because that can explain my actions most of the time! (like if everyone goes out drinking after work but I don't want to) Also, they can keep me in their thoughts and prayers!
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  #5  
April 24th, 2005, 04:10 PM
littlered's Avatar Veteran
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just about everyone in my family knows. and if i ever mention that my af has came this month or the next they start asking if i am pregnant. and it gets on my nerves because i know that i am not. or they try giving me advice on what i should be doing to get pregnant. me and my hubsand hasn't told nobody in his family that we are trying because every sents we told them that we was getting married they have always made sure that when we see them that they mention. you don't need to have kids yet. you need to wait along time before you have kids. this is what my father inlaw says. we already got enough of grandkids we don't need anymore right now. me and my hubsand we try to ingore but it gets hard sometimes.
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  #6  
April 24th, 2005, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by littlered@Apr 24 2005, 06:10 PM
you need to wait along time before you have kids. this is what my father inlaw says. we already got enough of grandkids we don't need anymore right now. me and my hubsand* we try to ingore but it gets hard sometimes.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

How terribly rude!!! Some people are such insensitive jerks!! Good luck trying to get that BFP!!!
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  #7  
April 25th, 2005, 03:59 PM
~*kath*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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There is only a couple people who know we are TTC for that reason,, especially since its been taking awhile I think it would make things so much worse if I had people asking me all the time. We're lucky that those who do know don't bug or ask too much about it, just talk positively about "when the baby gets here" its kind of nice.

*~baby dust to you girls~*
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  #8  
April 25th, 2005, 04:33 PM
littlered's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally posted by Brie+Apr 24 2005, 05:38 PM-->
Quote:
<!--QuoteBegin-littlered
Quote:
@Apr 24 2005, 06:10 PM
you need to wait along time before you have kids. this is what my father inlaw says. we already got enough of grandkids we don't need anymore right now. me and my hubsand* we try to ingore but it gets hard sometimes.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How terribly rude!!! Some people are such insensitive jerks!! Good luck trying to get that BFP!!!
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
[/b][/quote]


yep some people are such insensitive jerks. that is why we didn't tell them that we are ttc. good luck to you to.
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  #9  
April 26th, 2005, 08:14 AM
BabyJsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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my mom keeps saying you'd better not be you need to wait til you finish school and all this jazz. one day on the phone (before I found out) she said I hope and pray you aren't pregnant. That hurt. We're not telling anyone about the baby til after the wedding. Not because of the marriage thing, but because we wanna get through the first trimester before we tell.
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  #10  
April 26th, 2005, 11:28 AM
DreamChaser's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We haven't told anyone we are TTC, but we still get the question are you pregnant yet (particularly from my niece and two friends of mine - who all had babies within the last year!). We are newlyweds so I guess that is just part of the normal course. Oh well - I don't dare tell them we are actively trying though or I will never hear the end of the questioning. So we just say we are currently "practicing"
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  #11  
April 26th, 2005, 02:48 PM
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I feel the opposite of most. I think by people knowing we are trying then they don't ask as much since they know it is a work-in-progress Pretty much everyone knows we are trying and I hardly get that question. I think they know when it happens they will all find out
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  #12  
April 26th, 2005, 04:09 PM
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Location: Virginia
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After five years of marriage and eleven years of being together nobody asks anymore. When we were first married it was the second question after "How are you doing?" I think they have given up on me.
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