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Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child

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  #1  
March 13th, 2008, 11:18 AM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
Join Date: Jul 2007
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So a while ago i posted about my little sister dating a 40 some year old man with 4 kids. She is only 21 and VERY VERY immature We hated the guy at first (he was her boss/owner of the company she worked at) but he ended up being really sweet and treats her good.
Well They have been together 2 months. They are already talking about gettting married and get this A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***???? They haven't used any protection for like a month now. I just know she is going to get pregnant before me We have been trying for so long. My sister doesn't get how much this hurts me. She isn't even ready for a baby. She doesn't know this guy that well and they have already broken up 3 times in 2 months. The other thing is my sister has major health issues. Getting pregnant now just wouldn't be the smartest thing for her. Plus the thing that pisses me off the most is she is already talking about names. Everyone in my family knows that if DH and i have a boy we are naming him Jace. We have said this for years. Well my sister said if she gets pregnant with a boy she is naming him Jayze..what the hell. They are pretty much the same name.
My mom is upset about it...But wants her to be ready so she went out and bought her folic acid and prenantels and just added them in her daily pill box....
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  #2  
March 13th, 2008, 11:24 AM
Brenda04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry you are going trough this, I totally understand where you are coming from, I just hope your sister thinks things trough before doing something she is not ready to do specially if she has health problems. Maybe this is an episode that will pass



you'll see you are going to get your first
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  #3  
March 13th, 2008, 11:29 AM
~April04~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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o wow I'm sorry.. have you tried talking to her about everything?..
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  #4  
March 13th, 2008, 11:32 AM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
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Quote:
I'm sorry you are going trough this, I totally understand where you are coming from, I just hope your sister thinks things trough before doing something she is not ready to do specially if she has health problems. Maybe this is an episode that will pass



you'll see you are going to get your first[/b]
Thank you. I hope you are right. It just adds so much stress and pressure on me. I feel like i am in an even bigger hurry now to ttc.


Quote:
o wow I'm sorry.. have you tried talking to her about everything?..[/b]
I have and she tells me that he is getting older and wants to have more kids before he gets to old. She also says that if it happens it's Gods plan
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We are happily ADOPTING our rainbow baby.
Read my story here it is part of a campaign I was asked to Join...
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  #5  
March 13th, 2008, 11:36 AM
~April04~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hm.. hopefully she thinks it out more then. esp if she has medical problems Other than that, the best thing to do is just try and be happy for her (trust me I know it's hard.. I was the first one to get married and I'll be the last to have children)..

But about being 21 and getting married quick... I can't say anything about that.. I got married at 19 and married my husband after being with him for a month and a half.. We've been together over a year and a half and couldn't be happier.. so sometimes it works.
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  #6  
March 13th, 2008, 11:38 AM
Trese08's Avatar Super Mommy
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*** is up with that?? You have every right to be angry about this. It is like she is trying to compete with you...come on, the same name too?

I think you need to have a long heart-to-heart with her so at least you know you did all you could to prevent a big mistake. She needs to understand that you need to be of a stable relationship and health before jumping into motherhood.

Hang in there Sweetie.

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  #7  
March 13th, 2008, 11:50 AM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
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Awwwwwww Jamielynn!!!! I'm sorry hun!!!! I can imagine what you're feeling!! And it's normal and you have every right to be hurt and angry!! (I know how you're feeling sorta....I mean with my SIL, everything with us is like a competition) WOW!!! about everything!!! I can't believe she's going to use your name too!!! I know how p-o'ed I'd be if my relative used our name. That's why I helped name Leo, made sure it wasn't one of our names.

I hope she thinks about it more, like April said especially because of the medical issues. Hope she makes the wise/smart decision. (I mean jsut because he wants more kids, doesn't mean she has to be the mommy. Hope she's not thinking that if she gets knocked up they'll stay together, get married and be one happy family, maybe they would maybe they wouldn't, but considering his divorced past.....And are they serious serious about each other? about having babies and getting married? or is she just trying to please him by giving him a baby? Hope it's not the last one...) Wow breaking up and getting back together that many times!! I did that with my ex-bf didn't work

Jamie, I hope and pray you get your BFP first, so you won't have to worry about it and be hurt more. (I know I'd be hurt/furious if I was in your shoes and my sis got what I wanted first.)
Awwww sorry about your mom giving her prenatals, etc. that must have really hurt!

Hang in there!!! I'm here if ya ever wanna vent!! Try talking to her again, explain how you're hurt, discuss pregnancy/motherhood and a stable relationship with her. (scare her out of it )....hopefully she'll listen and come around. I know too that you don't want her to make a rash discussion and get hurt worse. (that's how I'd be with my sis if we were in the situation)
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  #8  
March 13th, 2008, 11:51 AM
Jeb-O's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So sorry, Jamie. I don't like how she throws "God's plan" in your face like God hasn't planned for you and Josh to have children. I hope your sister changes her mind and rethinks her plan. It would be nice if she and her BF could work on their relationship before they bring an innocent child into the picture. You're in my thoughts and I am always wishing to see your BFP!
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  #9  
March 13th, 2008, 11:51 AM
BirdsWifey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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omg hun!!!!!! im so sorry! i would be just as upset as you are!!!!!!! man i wish there was something i could do to make you feel better! im here if you need me!!!!
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  #10  
March 13th, 2008, 11:52 AM
bre4thewin's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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does any one else look at the name Jayze and see Jay-Z? Im sorry Jamielynn. I would be bummed if i were you to. Sound like you lil sis just need some attention......
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  #11  
March 13th, 2008, 11:55 AM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
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Quote:
hm.. hopefully she thinks it out more then. esp if she has medical problems Other than that, the best thing to do is just try and be happy for her (trust me I know it's hard.. I was the first one to get married and I'll be the last to have children)..

But about being 21 and getting married quick... I can't say anything about that.. I got married at 19 and married my husband after being with him for a month and a half.. We've been together over a year and a half and couldn't be happier.. so sometimes it works.[/b]
Thanks...I am trying so hard to be happy for her. But deep down i am angry.
Dh and i also got engaged after 2 and a half months of knowing each other. I was 20 when we got married. So i know it can work. It's just they break up alot and i don't think thats to normal.
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We are happily ADOPTING our rainbow baby.
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  #12  
March 13th, 2008, 11:56 AM
Jennifer-in-Italy
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I'm sorry girl. Some people just need to get a major does of common sense and some sensitivity.
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  #13  
March 13th, 2008, 11:58 AM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 15,716
Quote:
*** is up with that?? You have every right to be angry about this. It is like she is trying to compete with you...come on, the same name too?

I think you need to have a long heart-to-heart with her so at least you know you did all you could to prevent a big mistake. She needs to understand that you need to be of a stable relationship and health before jumping into motherhood.

Hang in there Sweetie.

[/b]
Thank you. It's nice to know i am not out of line.
I agree that i need to sit down and have a long talk with her. I am just worried that it will make her want to hurt me even more.

She has always done everything i have done. It's like we are the same people. It's weird
__________________
IUI #1 = BFP but ended in the loss of our boy Carter
12 failed IUIs followed
After TTC baby #2 for 3 years....
We are happily ADOPTING our rainbow baby.
Read my story here it is part of a campaign I was asked to Join...
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  #14  
March 13th, 2008, 12:11 PM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 15,716
Quote:
Awwwwwww Jamielynn!!!! I'm sorry hun!!!! I can imagine what you're feeling!! And it's normal and you have every right to be hurt and angry!! (I know how you're feeling sorta....I mean with my SIL, everything with us is like a competition) WOW!!! about everything!!! I can't believe she's going to use your name too!!! I know how p-o'ed I'd be if my relative used our name. That's why I helped name Leo, made sure it wasn't one of our names.

I hope she thinks about it more, like April said especially because of the medical issues. Hope she makes the wise/smart decision. (I mean jsut because he wants more kids, doesn't mean she has to be the mommy. Hope she's not thinking that if she gets knocked up they'll stay together, get married and be one happy family, maybe they would maybe they wouldn't, but considering his divorced past.....And are they serious serious about each other? about having babies and getting married? or is she just trying to please him by giving him a baby? Hope it's not the last one...) Wow breaking up and getting back together that many times!! I did that with my ex-bf didn't work

Jamie, I hope and pray you get your BFP first, so you won't have to worry about it and be hurt more. (I know I'd be hurt/furious if I was in your shoes and my sis got what I wanted first.)
Awwww sorry about your mom giving her prenatals, etc. that must have really hurt!

Hang in there!!! I'm here if ya ever wanna vent!! Try talking to her again, explain how you're hurt, discuss pregnancy/motherhood and a stable relationship with her. (scare her out of it )....hopefully she'll listen and come around. I know too that you don't want her to make a rash discussion and get hurt worse. (that's how I'd be with my sis if we were in the situation)[/b]
Thank you so much Lindsey I really appreciate your reply.

I think my sister wants whatever i have or wants to do whatever i want to do. It's always been like that. We always do things at the same time and do the same things. So i think that by this man wanting her to get pregnant she feels like it's perfect because she will be pregnant with me and we can raise our kids together. Which is a nice thought and all but she isn't ready and i have to get my BFP first i just do....

Quote:
So sorry, Jamie. I don't like how she throws "God's plan" in your face like God hasn't planned for you and Josh to have children. I hope your sister changes her mind and rethinks her plan. It would be nice if she and her BF could work on their relationship before they bring an innocent child into the picture. You're in my thoughts and I am always wishing to see your BFP![/b]
Thank you so much

I know..The "God's plan" makes me mad. God doesn't even want people to have sex before they are married so why would he want all this

I wish she would grow up. I feel bad for the innocent child too. I just don't see them working out and thats never a fun thing for a child.

Quote:
omg hun!!!!!! im so sorry! i would be just as upset as you are!!!!!!! man i wish there was something i could do to make you feel better! im here if you need me!!!! [/b]
Thank you

Quote:
does any one else look at the name Jayze and see Jay-Z? Im sorry Jamielynn. I would be bummed if i were you to. Sound like you lil sis just need some attention......[/b]
You said it best!! All my sister ever wants is attention. Anything i do she wants to do better and sooner...So she can have all the attention. It's been like that for years.
When i typed out Jayze i was thinking it looked like Jay-Z..
It's said the same as Jace but with a Z sound.

Quote:
I'm sorry girl. Some people just need to get a major does of common sense and some sensitivity.[/b]
Thanks.

I agree..Thats one reason i worry about my sister having a baby now is because she has no common sense.
__________________
IUI #1 = BFP but ended in the loss of our boy Carter
12 failed IUIs followed
After TTC baby #2 for 3 years....
We are happily ADOPTING our rainbow baby.
Read my story here it is part of a campaign I was asked to Join...
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  #15  
March 13th, 2008, 12:25 PM
Lauren S's Avatar Mom to Brady and Hannah
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I'm so sorry, Jamie! The situation just stinks. I can't believe she wants to pretty much steal your name too.
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  #16  
March 13th, 2008, 12:48 PM
FyreMommy2B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Jamielynn!! I'm so sorry your sis is being such an pain for you. I know it can't be easy for you but you are strong. And deep down people around her realize this is not a solid, healthy relationship in which to introduce a child into. Her response about God's plan is pretty pathetic if they are not married. In the end she will have to answer for her actions and decisions before God himself I have had competitive friendships in the past which were so annoying when you just get tired of people copying and trying to do what you do for yourself. I hope everything works out and that you get your bfp first!! Sending lots of BABY DUST your way!!!
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  #17  
March 13th, 2008, 12:54 PM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
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Location: California
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Quote:
I'm so sorry, Jamie! The situation just stinks. I can't believe she wants to pretty much steal your name too.[/b]
I know it's like she wants to be me so bad. I just don't get it.

Quote:
Oh Jamielynn!! I'm so sorry your sis is being such an pain for you. I know it can't be easy for you but you are strong. And deep down people around her realize this is not a solid, healthy relationship in which to introduce a child into. Her response about God's plan is pretty pathetic if they are not married. In the end she will have to answer for her actions and decisions before God himself I have had competitive friendships in the past which were so annoying when you just get tired of people copying and trying to do what you do for yourself. I hope everything works out and that you get your bfp first!! Sending lots of BABY DUST your way!!! [/b]
Thank you so much. I'm so not a competitive person. So it's hard for me to understand why she is acting like this.

Dust to you too!!
__________________
IUI #1 = BFP but ended in the loss of our boy Carter
12 failed IUIs followed
After TTC baby #2 for 3 years....
We are happily ADOPTING our rainbow baby.
Read my story here it is part of a campaign I was asked to Join...
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  #18  
March 13th, 2008, 12:56 PM
kmannetta2005's Avatar Veteran
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Posts: 402
I am o sorry that she is doing this. She is clearly not ready for a baby or marriage, especially if they can't even stay together. Have you considered sitting down with her and telling her how you feel?
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  #19  
March 13th, 2008, 01:10 PM
LaLaRose3's Avatar My brand of heroin.
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I am sorry you are having to go through this girl!



I really hope that she comes to her senses soon... if she isn't ready (which, by what you say, I think she isn't) then she really needs to see what it will be like. Make sure she knows how HARD it will be, especially if the guy leaves her. I really am sorry that she is being insensitive, and you have every right under the sun to be mad about it! I would be!

Hope everything works out, hun. Keep us posted!
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  #20  
March 13th, 2008, 01:42 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this. Some people just don't understand. I've had friends steal my baby names before and it is so hurtful. Especially now that I'm ttc and I've imagined my child being called a certain name. As for your sister and her boyfriend, they're probably just basking in the 'newness' of their relationship and are in a hurry to experience all of the things that a couple gets to do together. Get married...have a baby...etc...etc.

I know that you will get pregnant. It might be before your sister, or it might be after, but just remember that everything happens for a reason. You'll have your baby when you're supposed to.
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