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I need some ideas/help..not a debate.


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  #1  
October 1st, 2010, 01:07 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 173
Soo my boyfriend has my passwords to emails, messengers, social networking sites, etc. and I have the passwords to his, because neither of us wanted to hide anything from each other. Or so I thought. I went to look at his email and he had an email from a girl who he hasn't mentioned to me at all. Right now, we do not have an open relationship.....sometime in the future maybe we will, but right now we don't. But he got an email from some girl, the email contains 13 pictures. Some nude some regular. Plus this message

"Master,

here is the attachment of my photos it is both nude and dressed photos Master... i hope that you'll like it.. this is my first time ti share some nude photos and i am maybe shameful but i wanted to share it to the person that i trusted Master.

Rhaine
"


I don't know whether I should mention her to him, and ask him about it.....or just ignore it, or what. Because I don't want to mention it, and then have him just hide it, or anything else... But I don't want to think that he is or is thinking about, cheating either. What do you think I should do? Besides "not go through his email" I usually don't, I just noticed that he had a message from this girl that I had never heard about. I'd be more understanding about things like this if he'd tell me about them.....so I don't know what I should do.
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  #2  
October 1st, 2010, 06:53 AM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
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Location: ON, Canada
Posts: 16,621
First, forward to email to yourself so he can't delete it once you've confronted him.

I would confront him, if he's cheating you have the right to know, and make the decision to stay or not. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
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  #3  
October 1st, 2010, 07:00 AM
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Posts: 3,258
I'd sure as hell be confronting him. No way that's innocent. It's completely inappropriate. You have the right to be angry and to confront him about it.
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  #4  
October 1st, 2010, 07:41 AM
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I was in a similar position before, and copied the emails and messages before confronting Tony, which I do feel you should be able to confront him. It's your right to be able to decide if you want to stay or not if he isn't being faithful.

Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I wouldn't be entertaining the idea of an open relationship if he is doing this now, when you do not have an open relationship. I think having it open may be a recipe for disaster if he already doesn't have that respect for you.
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  #6  
October 1st, 2010, 01:06 PM
Poncho06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Are you sure it's not junk mail? If not then I would just be honest and ask him about it.
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  #7  
October 1st, 2010, 04:45 PM
TheMrs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Poncho06 View Post
Are you sure it's not junk mail? If not then I would just be honest and ask him about it.
This is what I was thinking. I got things a lot like this at work! I just emailed our tech guy and said..."Either I have spam or my husband is really lucky" (side note- I was friends with the tech guy and the school was very lax, but yes I could have gotten in doo-doo looking back). They were much like what your husband received.

I would ask him about it first. You may also want to google the address it come from. Sometimes there will be others who received similar emails and try to bring some awareness of the person who sent it.
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  #8  
October 1st, 2010, 05:36 PM
JustJodes's Avatar Valar Morghulis
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Location: Northern Canuckville
Posts: 1,323
My first thought was that it was spam also. If not, that's pretty ballsy of him to receive emails like that knowing you have his passwords. But I also would forward a copy to my own just in case and then I would talk to him about it. Can you also check his sent messages to see if he has written to her or requested the photos like she said? Or even google search her email address to see if it's associated with anything. I would be more suspicious if his actual name was used instead of Master but that's seeming to me more like a phishing scam. Good luck!
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  #9  
October 1st, 2010, 10:54 PM
**Badfish**'s Avatar Worth Saving
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Location: Colorado
Posts: 7,141
Sounds like spam to me, too.

ETA: Run a virus scan for sure if you opened any of the attachments.
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  #10  
October 2nd, 2010, 12:11 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
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I didn't download any of the pics. I talked to him about it, and he says that he doesn't know who it is, and that it's just junk mail. So I asked him if he wants me to delete it for him, and he said I can, or else he will. So I deleted it, and blocked that e-mail address. I really want to believe that it was junk mail, etc. it's a little hard though, because about a month ago he sent a message to some female on a social networking site asking if she's single...when I confronted him about that, he said he was going to tell her that he didn't want to talk to her if she replied saying she's single.....guess I'll just believe him and see if something similar happens again or not.
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  #11  
October 2nd, 2010, 10:26 AM
Jintana's Avatar Dragoness
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Milpitas, CA
Posts: 1,768
It sounds like that Master email may have been spam but it also sounds like he is "preparing" for the open relationship. Being single is completely irrelevant to a normal friendship. I think I'd only ask a guy if he were single if he were in a high-profile (brag all over Facebook sort) relationship and suddenly changed his status, or something. Even if I -were- looking for someone, it would not start with "Are you single?" -- especially if I weren't.. oi..

Best wishes for this being fluke-tastic and not a cheating situation.
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  #12  
October 3rd, 2010, 08:26 PM
mayandsofiasmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 12,545
Paired with the fact he sent a message to some random girl a month ago, I would be concerned. All of the junk mail I have seen has ads in it or asks for money. I've never seen any that has nude and regular photos attached. Not saying that can't happen, but with the messaging a girl not long ago... well, it looks very suspicious.
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  #13  
October 4th, 2010, 07:19 PM
TheMrs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yeah, mine didn't have any pictures...hmmm. Sounds fishy, now that you mention him talking to another girl. Why would you even stay with him after that though? Do you have kids with him?
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