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  #1  
March 7th, 2011, 02:44 PM
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Argh I need advice. I am sincerely at a loss as to what to do about this nutcase that used to be my best friend.

I've posted here some time ago about my old best friend... she dated this druggie loser, dropped me on my *** for him, called me a **** (despite knowing that bothers me since my sister is a lesbian), threatened my family, talked crap about my kids, Tony, just basic drama over me telling her I could no longer talk to her while she was dating this guy. This guy threatened me, and I'm not sure about anyone else, but if a guy I was dating and only knew for 2 weeks threatened my best friend of years I'd drop the guy. We have had the police involved before, because she said I was calling her nonstop. I told the police to check my cell records... I never called her. She messaged me about a year later saying she was dropping this guy, only to go back to him 12 hours later and start drama all over again. I called the police and had them tell her to not contact me again or I'd be pressing harassment charges.

Things were great since then... she changed her phone number (a mutual friend told me this, and I DO NOT have her phone number), she has moved (once again, don't know where she lives). There really is only one person I know that is a mutual friend and I never, ever put her in the middle. This old friend doesn't even come up in our conversations.

Well yesterday she messages me online and tells me she wants to clear the air. I told her there really wasn't anything that needed to be said, but let her talk. She admits to STILL dating this guy (she always has, but told me they broke up, I knew it was false). She said she moved, and thought I had an ill image of him that was wrong and she wanted to clear the air. I told her point blank... when a guy threatens me and tells his girlfriend that he is going to my house to "fcuk my world up," I don't take kindly to that. At that point I calmly chose her to choose her best friend (me), or him. She chose him. I asked her to please not contact me while she was with him. She has gone back and forth a few times, and every time I don't let her just hop back into my life and hurt me. So she gets mad at this convo we are having because I don't think she needs to "clear" anything up, I will never have her in my life and at this point don't care if she was dating him or not. She gets pissed off at the fact that I do not wish to talk to her and smooth things over. I told her to please leave me alone, even if she left him too much damage has been done and it's a slap in the face to my real friends to have this girl back in my life. Keep in mind she was like a sister to me and this guy truly sabotaged our relationship.

So I get offline after this convo, and a bit later get a phone call from our mutual friend. Apparently this girl called our friend, now threatening HER, because I'm not giving into her she's now taking it out on other people.

Directly after we hang up, I get yet another message from this girl telling me to stop pranking her and calling her to harass her. For one, cell records will show I have not called her in years. I don't even have her new number! So how can I call? I tell her once again to leave me alone or I am calling the cops. She still blows up at me, now starts accusing me of not taking care of Lily, and I just don't respond to her at all after telling her I was calling the cops. Last night I was really tired from a bad weekend of a 2 day migraine, I didn't want to deal with the cops then. She still messages me saying she called the cops and they laughed when they heard my name. Just really weird crap that she finally gave up when I wasn't answering her.

Until today. I just signed on about an hour ago, I've been sleeping all day because of a headache and cramps. I had a message sent to me saying she knows Ive been calling and harassing her and I'm ruining her life... then the last thing she says was "I sincerely hope someone shoots you in the head." I still didn't respond, and now I am compiling all the screen shots and everything from these past 2 years of her constantly harassing me.

Would you press charges? Would you get a restraining order? Cell records and computer records will show I have not messaged her or called her. She said she's even getting text messages from me... I was asleep all day! I just seriously don't understand what is going through her head! I swear, part of me wonders if she is schizophrenic and truly believes I am doing this, or she is just that nutty to make that up and tell everyone what I am doing (which isn't true!)

I'd want to change my number but I can't. I have to keep this number until my custody case is over. I have blocked her online and she just creates new names to harass me. This girl seriously has issues and it's getting to the point my Mom is worried she will call Lily's biological father and put Lily at risk... so I just don't want to rock the boat but also don't want to be a doormat to these threats.

What would you do? God I wish she would grow up and just leave me alone!
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  #2  
March 7th, 2011, 04:07 PM
foxfire_ga79
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I would definitely see about pressing charges.
Other than that, you've got more drama in your life than every single soap opera cast member combined. Jeez woman, I feel like a nervous wreck just reading everything you post. Doesn't anything good ever happen to you?
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  #3  
March 7th, 2011, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79 View Post
I would definitely see about pressing charges.
Other than that, you've got more drama in your life than every single soap opera cast member combined. Jeez woman, I feel like a nervous wreck just reading everything you post. Doesn't anything good ever happen to you?
LOL I know right... sheeeit I can't catch a break! lol

In all reality things have been great lately. My headaches aren't much better but in terms of school and family things have been amazing. I am kicking BUTT in school and it really, really feels good to have a nearly 100% in every class. They are hard classes but it feels good to be challenged and do so well. After the past few years in school this is certainly a look up. Tony and I have been amazing and have had lots of sorely needed family time. We went out to shoot guns yesterday (without lily, she isn't old enough) and I just had a nice day with the boys. So despite medical stuff and some crazy "friends," I am really excited where my life is at now. Things are finally coming together and it feels amazing to have the most important elements of my life coming into order. I'm just nervous about these two massive papers I have to write, lol

But as an update... I told Tony about that last message she sent me and he wouldn't let me let things go. So I called the local police and told them what information I have of her, but unfortunately there isn't much they can do if they can't track her down since I don't have her cell number. But they said they will try, and if anything they now have a record (added onto the last time I called the police on her) of her harassing me. They said if she continues I can file a restraining order and harassment charge. It must sound completely trivial to the police, especially when I say she is insisting I am calling her and pranking her/sending text messages... I don't have her number! I just said with the last message from her I didn't feel comfortable just letting it go. So hopefully they get a hold of her. I would just love for this girl to leave me alone and just get on with her life. I have no idea why she is so insistent on keeping this BS going, I just want her to leave me the heck alone!
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  #4  
March 7th, 2011, 05:08 PM
foxfire_ga79
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Awesome, it's nice when things are going mostly good.
Unfortunately, your mutual friend is going to have to be brought into this, just for the sake of giving you contact information for the crazy one. You don't have to tell her why, just tell her you changed your mind and ask for Ms Crazy's cell phone. And a nonchalant "by the way, where is it she moved to?"
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  #5  
March 7th, 2011, 06:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79 View Post
Awesome, it's nice when things are going mostly good.
Unfortunately, your mutual friend is going to have to be brought into this, just for the sake of giving you contact information for the crazy one. You don't have to tell her why, just tell her you changed your mind and ask for Ms Crazy's cell phone. And a nonchalant "by the way, where is it she moved to?"
I just talked to another mutual friend and she has her number. She was given it by another friend that had to bring this girl to court, for the SAME exact reasons! Except she tried to say that our friend was abusing her kids. It's insane allegations that she is doing to everyone. So I told her that for now I don't want her number, I'd like to be honest if the cop calls me back and say I truly don't know her number. However, if she tries this crap again, I will call back with her number (won't be calling her directly) and filing another complaint. Honestly, if it escalates much further I just think it will be best to file a restraining order. I just can't believe this girl is causing this much drama.

It sucks, because she was a really good friend. My mom thought of her as a second daughter, and when her mother passed away she looked at my Mom as her own Mom. We almost got matching tattoos for each other, had matching celtic heart necklaces. We never even so much had a bad day toward each other until this loser came into the picture. He completely changed her and I just refused to stand by and watch her be destroyed by him. She never listened to me about this guy, never listened to anyone. Not even her own father likes him and he has kicked this guy out of the house (he owns my friends house) and yet she still continues to be with him. I just don't get it. If every single person in your life hated your SO for good reasons, wouldn't you leave?! It's just silly to me!
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  #6  
March 8th, 2011, 05:56 PM
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On a good note... she hasn't contacted me. I'm assuming the cops got a hold of her (her name isn't that common) and told her to leave me alone. Last time I had to call the cops on her she relentlessly tried to contact me. Even told me "You answer my phone calls or Im calling the cops!" lol and ya know what?!?! SHE DID! She then said I was calling her nonstop and I told them to check phone records. I was the one telling her to stop, and she was saying she was going to call the cops if I didn't answer. The cop I talked to laughed and said "You know I can find out who is telling the truth, so if you are lying you need to be honest." I told them to go ahead and check. No idea if they did but she left me alone.

I have absolutely no idea what set this girl off... but all I can say is her downfall started with that trash she decided to marry. It's sad.

I'm just glad I haven't had any contact from her, lol. Makes my days go a lot smoother
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  #7  
March 8th, 2011, 07:22 PM
Poncho06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sounds like she has some mental health issues. Either way I'd consider that friendship a done deal.
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  #8  
March 8th, 2011, 08:43 PM
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Sounds like she has some mental health issues. Either way I'd consider that friendship a done deal.
Oh yeah, totally. She called my boyfriends son a sexual deviant and talked crap about Lily living with my parents 3 days out of the week while I was in school and they lived an hour away (she wasn't of school age yet). I did what was right for my family so I could go to school... so once she brought my kids into it I asked her nicely to please leave me alone. She just hasn't gotten this through her head.

As for mental health issues... yeah, seriously. I am sincerely wondering if she imagines these things she says happens or what... because honestly I don't know what sane person would do all of the things she did. To say I was calling her and pranking her when I don't even have her number... I seriously don't know if she's making things up or sincerely believes me to be doing this. This is middle school drama and the girl is 32 years old. I just don't get it. I hope whatever she has going on gets resolved soon because she was a great person before. I don't know what went wrong besides her lovely and wonderful husband **rolls eyes**

Tony is convinced she's on meth. I don't know what it is. I just hope her head becomes clear soon because I really don't want to take her to court over this crap, but she just needs to leave me alone.
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  #9  
March 10th, 2011, 01:16 PM
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One thing I would suggest, get all police reports, badge numbers etc. Keep a record of all the times you called the police, all messages etc.

She may leave you alone now but stated there is a fear of her causing issue in your custody battle. To avoid the stress of that, you have all the information need to have her and her creditability out of court. Nothing matters but your life now and your kids.

Keep blocking what you have too. Any contact, you call the cops. I would also watch what is said to mutual friends. Sorry they may be great but if this person has done this to you and a friend is still friends with her, I would be questioning the need of that friendship.
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  #10  
March 10th, 2011, 03:17 PM
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Originally Posted by second_chance_mum View Post
One thing I would suggest, get all police reports, badge numbers etc. Keep a record of all the times you called the police, all messages etc.

She may leave you alone now but stated there is a fear of her causing issue in your custody battle. To avoid the stress of that, you have all the information need to have her and her creditability out of court. Nothing matters but your life now and your kids.

Keep blocking what you have too. Any contact, you call the cops. I would also watch what is said to mutual friends. Sorry they may be great but if this person has done this to you and a friend is still friends with her, I would be questioning the need of that friendship.
The reason I am worried about custody issues is that she is one of the very few people that know my ex. I have not seen him in over 6 years, since he tried to kidnap Lily. I just wonder if she is crazy enough to contact my ex and give him information about where I live or where Lily goes to school, ya know? Otherwise anything she says could be thrown out of court because I know I'm a fit parent and nothing she could say could be proven. Not worried about that, just worried about my ex finding Lily.


I know I have a log of her messages on my external hard drive, need to do them with the recent. I am one of those tech savvy people to record EVERYTHING so when that crap started I took screen shots and logs of every single thing she said to me. I did the same with the recent messages.

She has left me alone, so I am assuming the cop found her and told her to back off. She doesn't have Tony's number, and she hasn't messaged him online. I think she knows better, because Tony would never listen to her anyways.
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  #11  
April 1st, 2011, 05:41 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
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Oh my god Beth. She sounds like an absolute nutjob. I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. She sounds like she used to be a good friend, but just turned crazy. I think you mentioned she was on drugs? I'm not surprised.

I hope the police did get a hold of her and she'll leave you alone for good
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  #12  
April 1st, 2011, 06:04 PM
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Beth? My names Jenn, lol. The police did get a hold of her and she has left me alone since then. But I will not hesitate to press charges the next time she messages me and starts this ****.
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  #13  
April 1st, 2011, 06:11 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
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Oh wow sorry lol!! I thought you were someone else!

I agree, press charges if she starts this crap again. You don't deserve any of this.
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  #14  
April 2nd, 2011, 09:09 AM
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Oh wow sorry lol!! I thought you were someone else!

I agree, press charges if she starts this crap again. You don't deserve any of this.
LOL Its all good! It happens
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  #15  
April 17th, 2011, 01:57 PM
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So a bit more to the story....

A mutual friend of ours contacted me about a week ago. I hadn't talked to her in ages so I was wondering why she contacted me.

Well, it turns out that the situation with our old friend is much worse than I thought. She has left me alone, which is great. When she contacted me to "smooth things over" might have been a way to try to talk me into letting her stay at my house. At first she was nice and saying how she's changed, but then went off the wall at me.

As it turns out, she had moved in with our friend since she was kicked out of her house. Our friend let her and her boyfriend stay there, but they refused to help out with food and rent. Our friend was okay for awhile, just trying to do the "good thing." Until they started to be loud, disrespect the household, wake up her kids, and generally weren't being good houseguests. This guy had a prescription for 30 percocet, and my friend found out the two of them went through the 30 of them within 30 days. She was afraid of them OD'ing in her house, and said they were no longer welcome there. She did say she could help them in the future, but first they need to help themselves.

While they were there they made accusations of child abuse on me (I was LIVID when my friend told me this). She told me tons of other stuff that makes her fear for the well-being of our old friend. She has a severe drug problem and it needs to be taken care of. My friend said "I wish I knew her Dads number so I can see if he will get her help." I happen to have his number, so I passed the information on.

I am just at a loss about this situation. Every single time I hear something about her, the situation is worse.

I'm afraid she's going to die with the way she's going


EDIT!!!! I meant 30 percocet in 3 days between the two of them!
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Last edited by Mom2Froggy; April 17th, 2011 at 06:43 PM.
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  #16  
April 17th, 2011, 06:32 PM
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Cut her off and those who are "friends' with her. Tell them you are not involved with this person, haven't seen/heard from her and you don't want to and to leave you out of it. If the messengers cannot stop gossiping, then get rid of them too. Unless the beeeeeyyyyyooooootch contacted CPS, telling random people you abused your kids won't do much of anything and eventually, her lies/drama will come out.

If she DID call CPS, you should figure out when you last saw her and explain that you have no contact with this person.

I have a friend like this too. It's exhausting and they suck the life out of you. If you're not careful, YOU will have a heart attack just listening to her.

I'd get yourself some popcorn and just enjoy a movie and not worry about her anymore. She's got other people willing to help her out, so let them do it. In the end, either it will work or won't, depending on if SHE wants the help and is truly willing to change her ways.

My friend---NOT willing to change so I had to just be DONE or else I'd go insane! I have my OWN life to worry about; so do you. So put you and your family FIRST and get rid of all the drama in your life. You'll be much happier!
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  #17  
April 17th, 2011, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by GSLynn View Post
Cut her off and those who are "friends' with her. Tell them you are not involved with this person, haven't seen/heard from her and you don't want to and to leave you out of it. If the messengers cannot stop gossiping, then get rid of them too. Unless the beeeeeyyyyyooooootch contacted CPS, telling random people you abused your kids won't do much of anything and eventually, her lies/drama will come out.

If she DID call CPS, you should figure out when you last saw her and explain that you have no contact with this person.

I have a friend like this too. It's exhausting and they suck the life out of you. If you're not careful, YOU will have a heart attack just listening to her.

I'd get yourself some popcorn and just enjoy a movie and not worry about her anymore. She's got other people willing to help her out, so let them do it. In the end, either it will work or won't, depending on if SHE wants the help and is truly willing to change her ways.

My friend---NOT willing to change so I had to just be DONE or else I'd go insane! I have my OWN life to worry about; so do you. So put you and your family FIRST and get rid of all the drama in your life. You'll be much happier!
Oh totally... the child abuse allegations made me laugh. In the end, if she did contact CPS they can investigate me all they want, I have nothing to hide. Not one single friend or family member of mine would say anything wrong, because I don't do anything that can be considered abuse or neglect. But I do have cell records, could get police records, and have every single online interaction saved. So if it came down to it, I have my butt covered. I started to save everything when she left me a message 2 years ago saying "Answer your ******* phone or Ill call the police!" so I saved the message, lol. It was quite humorous to tell the police that she was threatening to call them for me not responding to her.

As for cutting off those that are friends with her... I've been doing that. It is really sad, but I haven't talked to our friend that I suspect is providing a place for them to live. It is seriously unheard of for us to go 2 days without talking... it's been close to 2 weeks, if not more (that's just me paying attention to how long it has been). So I have refused to talk to her just because she hasn't taken my side at all when I did nothing wrong. Not that refusing to talk to her has done anything... she hasn't even contacted me to talk **shrugs**

But ****, it feels SO GOOD to finally have someone see why I have stuck to my guns, and why I have done what I have had to do the past 2 years. My own friends have taken her side, or at least have refused to stand up to her. They know the **** she put my family through. Finally, here is someone to contact me to say that hey... Im not freaking crazy! Its just nice to finally have someone agree that there is a problem with her.

But as you said, this did suck the life out of me for so long. I was so hurt by what she put me and my family through. I just passed the information onto another person, and maybe she can finally spark a change. I will NEVER be friends with this girl, or trust her again. I do still hope that she can turn her life around, her Dad doesnt deserve to have his daughter do this and take advantage of him. She needs help
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  #18  
April 17th, 2011, 07:08 PM
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If your own friends are siding w/ her against you without knowing the whole story, then drop em. You will find you will be left with just one or two out of the bunch, but at least you'll know who is real and who is not.

Take your curiosity for how she's doing and find something else to do with it. Maybe go to a mommy/me play group, or something else so you can get your mind off her. No more talking to anyone about her or letting them tell you anything. At this point, the only way to wash her out of your life is to really really get rid of her entirely. So, that may mean removing people who are her friend on FB so you aren't tempted to read updates. Change your phone # and e mail. Will it be easy? No, it'll be a pain in the ***. But at least your family will be protected from today going forward. Can't change the past, but you can change what happens now and into the future. Believe me, I could tell you a doozy of a story if you would like to PM me. It would take a lot of your time to read it but you'd be in SHOCK and would understand why I am saying the things I am.
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  #19  
April 17th, 2011, 07:53 PM
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You are right. I can't change my number though, not until my custody is done. Cant do email either, because it is the two ways my daughters father can get a hold of me. Until his rights are terminated, those avenues need to be open so I am not viewed as obstructing him from seeing our child, ya know?

But if you want to send me that story, go ahead! Im not off to talk to my niece on facebook, and tuck the wee one in bed, then I'll be back before I head to bed myself
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  #20  
April 18th, 2011, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Mom2Froggy View Post
You are right. I can't change my number though, not until my custody is done. Cant do email either, because it is the two ways my daughters father can get a hold of me. Until his rights are terminated, those avenues need to be open so I am not viewed as obstructing him from seeing our child, ya know?

But if you want to send me that story, go ahead! Im not off to talk to my niece on facebook, and tuck the wee one in bed, then I'll be back before I head to bed myself
You can change those things, as long as you give him and all relevant parties all the info and can prove that you gave it to him. If you are unsure, you can ask the lawyer or mediator their thoughts on that.

Give me a few minutes and I'll send it. It'll be somewhat LONG!
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