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A surrogacy birth story...


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  #21  
July 23rd, 2011, 12:41 PM
Keepin' it real!
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,656
Thank you, ladies. That means a lot.

Reptimom-
It is hard, but slowly, I'll come to terms with everything. I have had a terrible week with other things, and I think that's making things a little bit more rough. I know that I did something good and that my IP family is very blessed and that life that was brought into the world was meant to be here. I will never ever forget that I was able to do that for someone else. I haven't made a lot of impact in people's lives until I began by donating my eggs in 2005 (2 families got 2 babies each between then and 2008!) and got to complete a surrogacy; I wanted to know that if I died tomorrow, I made a difference for at least someone in some way. Very awesome experience even though some of those feelings are there. But, I am only a little over a week PP, so I could just be a little nutty for now.
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Lynn
Mom to many



1 Girl 2011 and 1 Boy 2013. Their family is COMPLETE!

Surrogacy # 3 for new family?: 2014??
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  #22  
July 28th, 2011, 09:37 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,329
It has to be so hard, yet so rewarding at the same time. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. Do you keep in contact with the families at all?
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  #23  
August 1st, 2011, 03:54 PM
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,656
Dayna-Yes, my IP's leave to go back home on Friday. We're getting together one last time this week before they leave. We'll see each other again next year when I do it again for them (so that Arlet can have a sister or brother!)

Feeling better now, but that first week I was abandoned by my "friends" and I have no family and my husband was out of town. The horrors of a babysitter, a backup flood, crappy home repair guy (the cleanup guy for the flood and plumber were both good, but pricey) who basically ripped up the house and left us hanging (he made it WORSE than the condition we were trying to fix) It just was a bit much for someone who just gave birth, let alone someone who just gave birth and had to do court proceedings, paperwork, etc to just relinquish the baby into her parents' custody. I found out quick that I have one friend in life and that's it. Sucksreallybad. I'd like to think I am a nice person, but I guess that doesn't matter...people will always find a way to show me they only are using me for whatever their ulterior motives really are. That's okay, I made it through by myself with just me and my kids and no one else. It was hard at first, but I did it so all those so-called m-effers can well, you fill it all in here. lol I will no longer be doing "favors" for my "friends" because they couldn't even take 20 minutes out of their NON-work day to come visit me at all after the baby was born. Reality hit hard and I was just...alone. Why do ya'll think I don't feel any bit sorry for people? because they prove time and again, they don't really want anything but what they want for themselves.

Maybe it's postpartum hormones, but I really think most people are jerks. I'm glad I was blessed with deserving IP's to give a baby to, because that made everything worth it. And...(sigh) Since my kids are paying me back for sending them to a so-called friend who decided NOT to treat them right, I have been miserable even with them the last 2 weeks. Seeing the baby and seeing my IP's together being so happy these few weeks has been the ONLY thing keeping me going these days.

Sorry, just needed a little bit of an outlet.
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Lynn
Mom to many



1 Girl 2011 and 1 Boy 2013. Their family is COMPLETE!

Surrogacy # 3 for new family?: 2014??
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  #24  
August 4th, 2011, 01:30 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: scotaland
Posts: 453
i lurk on here quite a bit and i must say if i could meet you now i would bow down and kiss your feet and do all i could to make this time easier for you

you are one truely amazing lady for doing this for a couple and i am in aww of you

i really can not find the words of how amazing you are for doing this and i wish you every happiness for the future as you deserve it
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  #25  
August 5th, 2011, 06:55 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 801
I was waiting to read this!

Instead of calling you amazing, I'm going to ask how hard this must have been for you. That's because I assume when people say amazing they mean that you must be so strong. I can't imagine. Is this the 1st time you've done this? Are the feelings harder than you imagined they would be?
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  #26  
August 5th, 2011, 04:18 PM
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,656
Mummy4-Thank you. It was very rewarding!

Mindy- It wasn't too hard at all, actually. It was harder saying goodbye to my IP's Wednesday. They let me feed/change and hold the baby and it was great! I almost got teary-eyed when we had to part ways, and my IP's did too. I think that it was harder to say good-bye to my IP's than the baby. You form relationships with people, especially when you spend so much time with them over several weeks. That was hard. But, I know I'll see them again for a sibling project next year and that helps. (We'd transfer next year and deliver 2013 if the transfer takes).

But, the best thing is that I was able to help create their family; give something of myself to someone else. I may not be rich, may not be much of anyone, but to THEM? Someone who showed that there is some good out there in the world. That means a lot.

This was the 2nd time (technically) I did surrogacy. The first time, I got pregnant, but lost the baby (different family) in the 2nd trimester. It was very difficult then. No one could possibly understand what it's like to lose a baby that isn't theirs (it's bad enough losing your own--I also went through that)...It's not just your family that's affected, but a whole other family that is too. It was very heartbreaking that time.

So, I only count this one because this is the first one I completed (meaning I handed a living child to her parents). I will count the next time as 2x even though technically, I'd be a 3x surrogate. If that makes any sense. Taylor is not forgotten, by any means, but I didn't get to hand her to her to her parents to raise because she died.
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Lynn
Mom to many



1 Girl 2011 and 1 Boy 2013. Their family is COMPLETE!

Surrogacy # 3 for new family?: 2014??
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  #27  
August 5th, 2011, 10:18 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
Congratulations and it really was a wonderful gift to give someone. She's beautiful and I'm so glad you were able to bring her into the world!
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