Rules

LindsLuvsSi · #1 April 24th, 2008, 10:47 AM

What would you make be rules when dealing with TTC struggles/infertility.

Like if everyone had to follow these rules, what would you want them to be?

i.e. of one I'd instate would be
"When talking to someone struggling with TTC, DO NOT say rude comments, such as "be patient" "it'll happen when it's supposed too" "you are too young" etc.

let's hear 'em ladies!

Hopingfor1soon · #2 April 24th, 2008, 01:06 PM

I would definitely make a rule that "If you know someone is TTC, dont flaunt how easily you became pregnant or how you didnt even try." Also "Never tell someone they are too young" I get that one alot and it drives me nuts....that is why most people dont know we are even thinking about trying let alone have been for 10 and are seeing an RE....

lissy8 · #3 April 24th, 2008, 01:36 PM

I agree the to young stuff is just irritating. I am an impacient person so I dont always like to here that it will happen when it is supposed to. I also cant stand it when people talk to me about not wanting to keep their babies. Uggghh here I am trying and they want to kill theirs. I almost told her that she should have her baby and I will adopt it.

LindsLuvsSi · #4 April 24th, 2008, 01:46 PM

I hear ya~

ShannonMVT · #5 April 24th, 2008, 04:20 PM

I so hear you on the comments about about being patient. And also flaunting how little time it took them to TTC.

On a related note, if you DON'T know if someone is TTC or not, it is not okay to try to "convince them" that they should have kids and show pics of your kids and say things like, "See? Having kids is wonderful." Because for all you know they ARE ttc or can't be for some reason or any number of things.

No saying "You just need to relax" or "You should just go on a vacation"

Absolutely! No! relating stories about how "you know this person who knows this person who just adopted and then she finally got pregnant! So see? You are just stressing too much."
In fact, studies have shown that the birth rate is the same for infertile couples who DON'T adopt as it is for those who DO adopt.

Don't ask them how it is going and then freak out if they say they are thinking about fertility drugs/getting medical help.

Don't try to have a conversation with them about how someone else's pregnancy is going.

~Andrea~ · #6 April 24th, 2008, 04:53 PM

1. When TTC, you can take as much time off of work as you want, if only to obsess about your "symptoms", and still get paid for it. (Ok, wishful thinking, I know) And, to have plenty of time for stress free BD'ing!

2. You are exempt from all baby showers, childrens birthday parties or any other baby related activity wihout an excuse needed.

3. As soon as someone gets married, you can not start asking them when they plan to have children. This question must not be asked until the couple has been married for 10 years.

4. And finally, when your Dr. knows you are TTC, you get priority treatment. No waiting for appointments, you get calls back right away, and you don't have to deal with the crazy receptionists or nurses.

snsgirl336 · #7 April 24th, 2008, 05:25 PM

Quote:

1. When TTC, you can take as much time off of work as you want, if only to obsess about your "symptoms", and still get paid for it. (Ok, wishful thinking, I know) And, to have plenty of time for stress free BD'ing!

2. You are exempt from all baby showers, childrens birthday parties or any other baby related activity wihout an excuse needed.

3. As soon as someone gets married, you can not start asking them when they plan to have children. This question must not be asked until the couple has been married for 10 years.

4. And finally, when your Dr. knows you are TTC, you get priority treatment. No waiting for appointments, you get calls back right away, and you don't have to deal with the crazy receptionists or nurses.[/b]

I like those rules! Now how can we go about making these all real rules????

LindsLuvsSi · #8 April 24th, 2008, 06:07 PM

I

Cris!!! Those are awesome!!!!!!!!

bethsbabydream · #9 April 24th, 2008, 07:22 PM

My rule would be DO NOT ask me if I am pg. If I am pg I will tell you. The other night I was at a friends house for a dinner party and I was drinking. My friend who knows that I am TTC asks me in front of everyone if I am pg. DUH- of course I am not and could you please not tell the world my private business.

#10 April 25th, 2008, 12:13 AM

1. There will be a separate waiting room for women who are TTC from the women who are pregnant. Exam rooms will be on opposite sides of the building so there is zero chance you will see someone with a pregnant belly.

2. AF symptoms will NOT imitate pregnant symptoms. There will be one clear set of symptoms for AF, one for pregnancy.

3. HPT's will be 100% accurate at 5DPO.

4. You will not get so bloated in the 2ww that you look like you are pregnant.

lissy8 · #11 April 25th, 2008, 06:41 AM

Quote:

1. There will be a separate waiting room for women who are TTC from the women who are pregnant. Exam rooms will be on opposite sides of the building so there is zero chance you will see someone with a pregnant belly.

2. AF symptoms will NOT imitate pregnant symptoms. There will be one clear set of symptoms for AF, one for pregnancy.

3. HPT's will be 100% accurate at 5DPO.

4. You will not get so bloated in the 2ww that you look like you are pregnant.[/b]

I like those rules! I get so frustrated when I go to the infertility doc because I have to be there about 4 times a month and the waiting room is shared with the OB office. So I see preggo bellies everywhere I look when I am there. Its kind a depressing.

grace4me · #12 April 25th, 2008, 07:24 AM

I'd like to make the comment "Relax and just enjoy your husband" comment a federal offense.

#13 April 25th, 2008, 03:02 PM

1.) Do not come up to someone you know is TTC and touch their belly!!! (I just had this happen to me by a co-worker... I WAS wearing a babydoll shirt... but how weird).

LindsLuvsSi · #14 April 25th, 2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

1. There will be a separate waiting room for women who are TTC from the women who are pregnant. Exam rooms will be on opposite sides of the building so there is zero chance you will see someone with a pregnant belly.

2. AF symptoms will NOT imitate pregnant symptoms. There will be one clear set of symptoms for AF, one for pregnancy.

3. HPT's will be 100% accurate at 5DPO.

4. You will not get so bloated in the 2ww that you look like you are pregnant.[/b]

These too!!

Mum2three · #15 April 25th, 2008, 04:51 PM

Oh i like all these rules!! can we pass them?? LOL

I wish these rules applied for real...

babybatax2 · #16 April 25th, 2008, 08:22 PM

For the being young and having plenty of time is the biggest one for me...that is the absolute most frustrating..

I had a miscarriage back in august and I took a few days from work. When I went back I just told people I was sick. This one lady kept saying, I don't think your sick, I think your pregnant... it was making me so made...and just wanted to scream at her

So that would be another, don't assume people are pregnant and dont bring it up