[ShannonMVT]

I think I finally realized something.

I have thought for a long time that when I get pregnant again, I just want to love my baby as much as I can, no matter what. Because I realize that if I hold back because of fear, because I am afraid of getting attached, it isn't going to make it hurt any less if I were to lose the baby. Losing your baby hurts and there is nothing you can do to prepare yourself for that pain.

And I finally realized...what am I doing with TTC? I am so afraid of not having a baby. Because I think by not getting my hopes up that it is going to hurt less if that IS what happens? If that were to happen, me trying to "emotionally prepare myself" is not going to make it hurt any less. If I were to not ever have a baby, I would be devastated. There is nothing I can do to change that. So there is no point in me being scared of it.

So from here on out I promise I will try to be better. I will refer to it as "when" I have my baby, not "if". I am going to make this happen somehow. I am going to try my best to not be afraid anymore of what the future could (not) bring.

I am going to believe that someday I will hold my baby in my arms and know that this was all worth it. I am stepping out and saying that I will keep trying, no matter what, until my dream comes true.

Hold me to this girls, and thank you for putting up with my crazyness. I am up and down like a roller coaster and I know there will be days when it is hard for me to keep trusting that this will happen.

I am crying my eyes out here. And man oh man, do I hope it is pregnancy hormones.

“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.”

[LindsLuvsSi]

Awww I know exactly what you mean~ Yay for your realization. I will def. help ya Shannon! I love the attitude, that's what I need, would ya share some of your realization/positivity with me?

[snsgirl336]

That is a really great way of looking at things Shannon. I've been really trying the positive approach myself and while it still hurts when AF shows, I'm not sad for so long and I have a more pleasant "look towards the future" attitude for the new cycle. Good Luck with your new attitude and I hope it brings you a well deserved BFP!

[ShannonMVT]

Lindsey I am sending positive thoughts your way! I know we all have our down days but if we all lift each other up and remind each other that someday we will have that baby in our arms maybe it will make those days a little easier to bear.

All of us here are strong women to have gone through as many diappointments as we have but I know that the payoff will be so worth it.

[xanada101]

I think this is great! I think we should all try to do this.... I know it can be hard especially when we've been trying for awhile, but being positive does more for you than being negative.

[BabyBird]

Very well said Shannon!!! When I was pg the second time I tried not to get attatched to the baby and was still devastated when I lost it. That is why the third time I cherished every moment I had with him regardless of how short it was going to be!

[jeanbean]

What a great outlook......

That's the spirit! It is hard when we get down about TTC, I was very depressed about TTC earlier. But to be able to come to realizations and have a positive attitude is a great thing!

[~Andrea~]

That is a wonderfully positive outlook! I decided last month that being upset and second guessing everything my body was doing wasn't helping anything. So now, DH and I have a motto....Pregnant until proven otherwise. We are just going to assume we are pregnant. If AF shows, we will be okay with it. It just gives us another chance to make our dreams come true.

We will all be here if you slip in your positivity...but I don't think you will! (((HUGS)))