[Lo_and_Behold]

So AF came full on this wknd. Usually it's not too too bad, but every few months I get one that just kicks my behind & this was one of those months. I'd been living on Advil, using those Thermacare heat patches, & having to change every hour or so. Needless to say, I wasn't in the best partying mood but I didn't want to be a party pooper for the wknd so I was trying to do the best I could.
It was taking me longer than usual to get ready b/c either nothing fit (I was so bloated!) or I hated the way I looked in everything else. DH's major pet peeve is lateness so needless to say, I wasn't in his good graces, but I figured he'd understand under the circumstances.
Guess not. On our way to our friend's bbq yesterday, we got into a huge blowup & get this.. he said to me, "No wonder you can't get pregnant! You could never take 9 months of this if you can't even have your period!" Are you freaking kidding me?!!! As if that weren't enough, he was angry b/c he felt I should've apologized for not feeling well & making us late! I should apologize for not feeling well?!!!! Ok, you have the uterine contractions, heavy bleeding, & a stomach that looks & feels like you're 4 months pregnant!

I was (am!) so angry & hurt. He basically assaulted my fertility. Like I don't feel low enough that AF is here AGAIN & now we're on to another cycle of ttc AGAIN (our 11th). I was tempted to say maybe it's his fault, but I didn't want to go there.

We get to the bbq & then he's making comments that are indirectly directed at me. Like one of our guy friends was talking about going away for 4th of July & DH is like "Sounds like a GUYS ONLY wknd. I'm in" & when someone said something about not getting married, he goes "Yeah, that's the smart thing to do". Mind you, it was a small bbq & the majority of people there were my coworkers. I was FUMING. I told him never to embarrass me again like that in front of ppl I work w/ b/c I wouldn't do that to him. And he looks like the idiot b/c no one else knew what he was talking about & he was just making ppl feel uncomfortable (it was obvious we'd been fighting). He slept on the couch & I haven't said a word more to him since. What an a--h---!!

Sorry for the vent!!!

OMG!! I seriously would have punched my husband in the face and told him to pull over and get the F--- out of the car if he had said that to me!! And then on top of that to have embarrassed you like that with those comments to your co-workers--unbelievable!! Is he always like this or was he just having an a-hole moment? I just cannot believe he said that to you

And I hope you don't feel like I was criticizing your response. I have a temper which explains why I would have reacted that way

[Lo_and_Behold]

LOL No, no offense taken at all. Trust me! I'm hopping mad!!! LOL

He does have a short fuse & gets angry easily but he usually just has his temper tantrum and that's that. He's Portuguese & has that quick Latin temper & we butt heads a lot b/c I can be annoyed easily too. But generally speaking he doesn't say things like this! He's famous for the silent treatment which he's doing right now. Fine with me! Usually I apologize (even if I'm not really sorry but just b/c I don't feel like not not talking anymore) but if he think I'm going to apologize for making us late, he'll turn blue holding his breath. After he said that to me, I just said "I can't believe you said that. That was a low blow & you know it". He apologized for it, but it was kinda half sincere so I don't think it counts.

[MamaAnna]

Wow, I cannot believe he acted that way. Was it your party? If you didn't feel well there was no reason for you to feel obligated to go. You should've been able to stay at home and rest and have him comfort you. If DH had said something like that to me and acted that way at a party he'd be staying with his mother for a day for every jerk comment he made! That was really terrible of him. I'm glad you vented, that isn't the sort of thing to keep bottled up.

[snsgirl336]

UGH! Men can be totally thoughtless and annoying sometimes. I'm sorry your DH was a butthead. I think you are totally justified in feeling how you're feeling. I hope he comes to his senses soon and realizes what a (insert bad name here) he was to embarass you like that.

We're all here for you to vent if you need... Hang in there!

[Lo_and_Behold]

Thank you girls It's nice that at least someone is understanding & has some kindness! I kind of wish he would stay the night at his parents. They like me more anyway..hahaha
Luckily, he's working his 2nd job tomorrow through Saturday.. he works a night shift at the hospital. So he'll only be home about 3 hours for the next few days. Then off to work 11pm-7am. Hopefully he'll get over himself sometime in between then! LOL

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I hope he starts acting better. My dh can be a a** sometimes, too. You can vent to us anytime. That's what we're here for. Sorry af showed, too. I know how frustrating that is month after month.

Here's for your dh

[Jlynn]

Wow i can't believe he treats you like that. Does this happen often? I would never put up with that. I am sorry he said all those hurtful things to you. Plus to do that at the bbq. I would have left my Dh there and he could have walked is sorry butt home.

[Lo_and_Behold]

I actually did want to leave, but he drove so I was pretty much stuck. I was wishing I'd had my car there though!!
We bicker sometimes, but nothing like this. I think that's why it's bothering me so much because it was so out of left field & such a mean thing to say.

LMAO thanks Michelle!!!

[*becky*]

Wow - that is seriously an opportunity for you to ##### slap him!!!

Doesn't he KNOW not to mess with a woman who has been visited by the evil witch? Plus, you're having trouble getting pregnant, so its an extra sensitive issue.

I'm sorry that he treated you like that, it was very insensitive of him...and THEN he adds embarassment on top of it.

Just reading your post made me want to punch something. When he's out working, go do something nice for yourself...get a massage or go buy something nice for yourself.

(((hugs)))

[Lo_and_Behold]

Thanks Becky!

Thank you everyone! You've all been so nice & supportive. It's nice to have you all here to talk to. I might've begun to think it had been my fault or that I should apologize just for the sake of it. Everyone's been so sweet... even my guy coworker (whose bbq it was yesterday). He bought me a smoothie after lunch LOL At least I know he's the one who's wrong, not me.

[sethsgirl]

OMG! If my DH said that all heck would break loose! How dare he say that to you! I would make my DH sleep on the couch too! And then to make those comments infront of other people the way he did, oh heck no! At least you're a good wife and stayed there, I would've taken the keys and left my DH at the bbq! lol I hope you feel better and I hope that your DH learns to keep his mouth shut! It's not your fault you felt like crap!

[LynneD]

Wow. He was definately wrong to say those things to you. You said this kind came out of left field and was especially worse, right? Maybe it's his reaction to AF showing and not getting pg again. Men usually don't take it the way we do each month or act as upset as we do. Do you think it hit him harder this month and he was just acting out? NOT that I am excusing his behavior by any means! Obviously I don't know him. Just thought I would put that out there. I could be way off! Sorry you had such a crappy weekend.

[jeanbean]

I hope everything works out.

[fuzzysunshine]

Maybe it's his reaction to AF showing and not getting pg again. Men usually don't take it the way we do each month or act as upset as we do. Do you think it hit him harder this month and he was just acting out? NOT that I am excusing his behavior by any means![/b]

Took the words right out of my mouth. It still doesn't excuse him; however, I'm not one to talk...I have a nasty temper myself sometimes I hope things get better

[lauren in hi]

Oh my, that's really low & inappropriate. I hope he makes it up to you soon...he certainly owes you big time!

Sometimes men can be such jerks.

[Lo_and_Behold]

Took the words right out of my mouth. It still doesn't excuse him; however, I'm not one to talk...I have a nasty temper myself sometimes I hope things get better
[/b]

I'm not really thinking that was why although I could see why people might think that. He used to get really bummed out about it, but right now it seems like he could go either way with it. I know he wants to get other things accomplished before we have a baby but on the other hand, I know he really wants to be a daddy. Just the day before THE COMMENT (lol) he asked when we could start trying again. He just wants to get right back in the saddle again & not harp on "another month bites the dust".

[Jlynn]

I actually did want to leave, but he drove so I was pretty much stuck. I was wishing I'd had my car there though!!
We bicker sometimes, but nothing like this. I think that's why it's bothering me so much because it was so out of left field & such a mean thing to say.

LMAO thanks Michelle!!! [/b]

If he's not like that to you most of the time then maybe he was really upset about AF showing up

I know my DH gets down and acts different when Af shows for me.

[wishingxxx]

Hey,i just read your post and really felt for you!
I hope things are better now and he has made amends in some way.
I think most men are a bit weird and unable to show emotion the way we are.
Saying that,we have the support of all these girls here,maybe we should open up a male ttc board lol,it might give us a better insight into their thoughts and feelings.
Or maybe they would just say nothing lol.
Anyway,i hope this is over and you two are back on form xxxxxxx

PS.......if all else fails,apologise(even if u dont mean it)before next cycle,DF and i fell out one cycle at the crucial time and it left me gutted lol.

[Chatterbox]

I just saw this and wanted to say that I'm sorry he was such a jerk. Men can be insensitive at times. I hope it gets better and he sincerely apologizes. *hugs*