[ShannonMVT]

I am feeling really down right now. I had a dream this morning about getting a BFP and showing it to Dh. I wake up and test and of course it's a BFN.

It's breaking my heart to have this happen month after month. I'm starting to lose hope that it will happen for me again. I just don't know why, when it only took 2 months last time. This time it's been 8 months, everything seems to be working but still a BFN each month.

We've got an RE appointment on June 23 but that means another wasted cycle of trying on our own.

[dng]

I wish I could tell you something positive, but I am in your shoes right now. I think this cycle and the last were anovulatory! Sucks. I think we are both doin the right thing be seeing the RE. Good luck when you go. I hope we both get out BFPs soon.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm sorry Shannon! It's been 9 months for me. I know how you feel. I wish we had a magic want to give us our BFP.

[Emm17]

I am also on month 9, it has been hard the last two months, mostly.
I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but the best i have is that we are all in this together, and we are all here for you.

[Jlynn]

I have those dreams too. I don't know what to tell you because i'm not doing to good either. I have pretty much cried everyday this week. I feel like giving up. It's hard becuase i feel like i have been in a nightmare for 8 longs months now and i don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I really do hope you get to feeling better and i hope your appointment goes well. If you ever need to talk i am here

I do a lot of crying every time AF shows. After almost two years, I am afraid to get my hopes up anymore. I'm finally starting to feel we might get somewhere since we got an awesome doc now. I pretty much gave up hoping.

[wishingxxx]

Sorry you feel down,we all do at some points on this journe by the sounds of it.
Im on cycle 10 now and it just never gets any easier,if anything it gets worse.
You just have to TRY and keep yur mind on other things,keep thinking positive that next cycle is yours!!

[Lo_and_Behold]

((HUGS)) I think you might be testing too early. It's hard to tell from your chart without any temps. But say you O'd either on the day you got your + OPK (not as likely.. usually the next day or day after), you'd only be about 11DPO. If you O'd the next day or day after, you'd be even less. Try to give it another day or so & try again. I know it's super hard to wait, but maybe that dream will come true & you'll have a happy surprise by the weekend!

[ShannonMVT]

I'm pretty sure I Oed on CD 14 because I had O cramps. The reason I'd expect to see something by now is because last time I had a pretty clear BFP on 12 dpo. So I dunno, unless for some reason this one is just taking longer to show up. I'll probably test again in a couple of days.

Maybe I'll feel more positive after I see the RE.

Seeing an RE has definitely helped me, but then you get a whole new set of worries. Once you start the journey of the alternative conception methods, it can be scary to think "and what if this doesn't work too?" But I dunno, I guess you do have to take it cycle by cycle. I'm sorry about your dream, that would have bummed me out too

[jeanbean]

For me, my fears, worries, and feelings change from month to month. Some are better than the others. Like Michelle said, seeing the RE really helped me in some ways too, but also added the extra anxiety of different worries. Good luck. Hopefully this will be your month!

[*becky*]

I'm sorry you are feeling down. For me I started to be less stressed and upset about things when I took a step back and didn't focus so much on TTC. I didn't temp or do OPKs or anything for a couple cycles. Now, the 2WW doesn't even bother me. So...my advice is to take a deep breath and enjoy non-TTC stuff to the fullest until you see the RE.

(((Hugs)))

[lauren in hi]

I've had those dreams too, and it's so disappointing to wake up and not be the slightest bit preggo. I did really good w/ not testing for all of one cycle, but I felt pretty good when I didn't POAS...so maybe I can try to hold out again in the future. But I do feel frustrated that so many people I know get pregnant at the drop of a hat & I'm on month #7/cycle #6 and have been told that as long as I relax & don't stress, I'll fall pregnant.

[ShannonMVT]

My in-laws are trying to get Dh and I to go on a vacation...I think they think I'll get pregnant if we do. Hah! I wish!

I do want to go on vacation but I don't really believe that will magically get me preggo.

[ashleighgurl]

I'm sorry that you are feeling so down hun. The only way that I can really keep going is that I keep telling myself that DF and I will be better off in many ways if it takes a little while longer. We can provide everything for our child right now, but we will have more money saved up and things like that if it takes longer. Of course, DF and I don't want to wait any longer. After a year and a half of trying, we want our BFP! hah! But, that's just what I keep telling myself. And, that everything happens for a reason. I believe in that, and so does DF, so we keep reminding ourselves of that. As far as you talking about the vacation - If you two want to take one, then I think that you should! Of course, just like you said, you might not magically end up pregnant, but some time away might help with the stress. DF and I took a small trip a little while ago - Just for a few nights - But, it helped us to be less stressed, and just spend some quality time together.

I wish you the best hun!

[samspain]

Well I know exactly how you are feeling, I am on month 7 cycle 6 and the only positive thing I have gained from this time is learning to test CM and note my cycle length, and the knowledge that DH is really into ttc, I had my doubts, but each month he is almost as gutted as me, and I see him trying to encourage me, but he is devastated too.
I feel like everyone is pg or having babies, and all I hear since we got married is "when are you going to think about children?" it breaks my heart, I cried the other day when my friend announced her 3rd pregnancy and told me before so i could prepare for when she told everyone.
I just keep thinking I wanted a baby by the time I´m 30, now its " I hope to be pg by the time I´m 30" and now I´m thinking just to be pg before I turn 31!
But we are saving money and I suppose that will help in the long run.

[shez26]

*lurking here* I understand how you feel............i was TTC for 17-18 months, we had diagnosed fertility problems and thought we would never get that elusive BFP!!!! Every month brought heartache, even when we started tests and were being pro-active it never got any easier! We thought IVF was our only option and were saving for it when on a whim i tested when i hadnt seen AF for 7wks (i'm VERY irregular) and lo and behold i nearly fainted..........there it was, our BFP!!!!

Don't give up hope girls it can happen, even when you least expect it!!!!

xx