I think it has finally hit me

branbran345 · #1 June 16th, 2008, 07:49 AM

Dh and I have been trying for 10 months. I have been pretty ok with it. I get pretty bummed and maybe shed a few tears when AF visits, but for the most part, I have been fairly together. Until now.

When we started trying, I didn't think it would take too long. I started buying baby things. I bought cloth diapers and slings. No one in my family ever used those things and I was so excited to be the first and only one who did. I know it is a little juvenile, but it made me feel a bit special. Now, it looks like I won't be the first at all.

My little sister is 16 weeks pregnant. That was a little kick to the gut. She wasn't trying and didn't want anymore. Again, I was bummed, but after a day or two, I was ok. Sunday, she called and was asking me about cloth diapers and slings. She saw them in a magazine and wanted to try them. That is when it hit me. Not only is she pregnant, but she is taking the one thing that would make me feel special and unique away. She is going to be doing what I have dreamed and hoped for for so long.

I know it is petty and childish, but I can't help feeling this way. Dh has been very understanding and let me vent to him about it. I took a few diapers and a couple of Babyhawks to show my mom who makes diaper bags. She is going to try to make a few and see how they come out. I wanted to talk her out of cding, but I know I won't. I will do like I always do and help her out. I will teach her the right way to wash them and take care of them. All the while wanting to rip her little head off.

Thanks for letting me vent.

MamaAnna · #2 June 16th, 2008, 08:04 AM

There's no way around it, that really sucks. I think we all know what it's like to want to be the first mommy to do something and a lot of us have probably lost that chance. Whether it's cloth diapers, breastfeeding, or even a name. The fact that you'll help her anyways shows what a wonderful sister you are.

snsgirl336 · #3 June 16th, 2008, 08:17 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I know what you mean when you say it seems like people are taking away things that you look forward to. I always figured that DH and I would give his grandmother's their first great-grandchild since he's older than all his cousins by several years. Well, that didn't work out at all. I got so frustrated and angry when we found out that there were babies on the way. I try to keep everything I like to myself in the hopes that someone doesn't steal it (How bad am I?)... Anyhow, I know how you feel. It's definitely no fun at all... Sending you lots of

*becky* · #4 June 16th, 2008, 08:46 AM

I'm so sorry hon...I just wanted to give you hugs and let you know you ARE special and your baby will be as well.

(((((hugs))))))

Chatterbox · #5 June 16th, 2008, 10:14 AM

Quote:

There's no way around it, that really sucks. I think we all know what it's like to want to be the first mommy to do something and a lot of us have probably lost that chance. Whether it's cloth diapers, breastfeeding, or even a name. The fact that you'll help her anyways shows what a wonderful sister you are.

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I completely understand where you are coming from. Unless my brother ups and has a kid before we do, it would be the first grandkid on my side of the family. However, on DH's side, there are already grandkids for his dad and step-mom and unless we have a girl, it won't matter too much more than likely. I wish I could make the pain and hurt go away for you hun. Just know you can always come here and vent!!

jeanbean · #6 June 16th, 2008, 12:36 PM

I know exactly how you feel. My sister, who is 1 year older than me, got married about 1 year after DH and I did. We were TTC 6 months prior to their wedding, and they already have 2 kids. I was upset, and at times, I guess I still am....not at her for having kids, but that we don't have any at all. It was more upsetting when she knew we were trying for so long and didn't ask me to be a godmother. I was completely heartbroken over that (and still am, I think because we still don't have children of our own). Hopefully it will be our turns soon!

branbran345 · #7 June 16th, 2008, 01:49 PM

Thanks so much, guys. I knew if anyone would get how I was feeling, it would be ya'll. I needed to get all of that off my chest.

nelson1229 · #8 June 16th, 2008, 02:05 PM

OH honey i am so sorry.. life is so cruel sometimes.. DH and I have been tyring for althogether 18 months and it is hard.. I see alot of people who have billions of kids and do not take care of them.. and it breaks my heart! Maybe your sister will change her mind and not use them.. maybe you can talk her out of using them

I hope you get to feeling better about it.. remember you are a strong woman and even though your arms are empty you will be a mother soon

I pray that things get better for you and that you feel 10x better!!!!

Celry · #9 June 16th, 2008, 02:42 PM

hugs I know how you feel. Dh and I have been trying for almost 16 months now. My sister, who wasn't trying for a second yet, is due in 8 weeks. I was a bit of a mess when I found out and I didn't feel like she was taking anything away from me. The wait each month really starts to add up and hurt. The women here are very supportive though and that helps a lot.

samspain · #10 June 17th, 2008, 01:58 AM

I know how you feel, All the things I had preselected for our babies, what type of pram etc, I said to my sister when we were baby shopping, and she thought they were great and chose the same as I wanted!. She didnt cd, but she slings which is a novelty in our area.

On dh side, there is no worries of anything modern being used as they are so old fashioned, babies only wear white and pale pink/blue until 1 year old, so I guess we�ll be trend setters there!.

The only thing that made me feel better about my nephew is DH saying that baby things evolve so quickly, that they�ll always be something new for us to do, even if its just supportive parenting!!