[Hopingfor1soon]

Does anyone here come from a mixed relgion family? Well I am methodist and my DH is catholic. We are both very strong in our religion and it has always been the one thing to come between us. Well it just did again about 10 minutes ago. We were talking about DHs sister and her new boyfriend. Well he isnt catholic so that was an immediate concern to DH and the family. It just makes me feel like because I am not catholic they think less of me. Anyways, DH was making comments about how dating someone of a different religion hardly ever works and how there will always be conflict, blah blah blah....I had to stop him in the middle of his rant and remind him that he married a non-catholic. And then he got defensive. I told him that I beileve that as long as people believe in God and follow him that is all that matters, and that you dont have to be catholic to be strong in your religion. I went on to say that I have nothing against the catholic religion and think that those who are catholic are wonderful people and I admire how strong most of them are in their religion. He took that as a complete insult...so then of course he brings up when we have children. Hes like "so you are saying when we have kids you wont even consider them being catholic?" Of course this is not the case at all. My children in my mind, should have the right to choose which ever religion they wish to follow. I would like to baptize them Methodist simply because the methodist religion encourages you to explore other religions and to find the one that is right with you. He feels if we dont baptize them catholic that there is no way they will ever choose catholism. He also metioned that not baptizing them catholic is a sin on our parts....what I dont get is how it can be a sin when Im not even catholic. Its not like I dont want to baptize my children and teach them religion. I am definitely going to introduce them to religion early in their lives, but I feel it should be their chose to really choose what religion fits them. Does anyone have any advice on this topic? Is there anyone in a similar situation or know people that are? I am just worried that this factor is really going to cause a strain on our relationship when we do have children....

Sorry for the rant girls, and I hope I didnt offend anyone...in no way did I mean to...

Thanks!

[*becky*]

I'm Catholic, but consider myself a liberal Catholic.

I agree with you - it shouldn't matter if your significant other is from another religion. My DH was not Catholic when we got married. He really didn't have a faith growing up. He looked into alot of religions and decided that he wanted to be Catholic. There were several times along the way that we had heated discussions about religion - its a tough subject!

I think as long as you and your SO have the same morals and values - it shouldn't matter what building you worship in and what religion you call your own.

On a side note - I would do some research, but I'm pretty sure that there is a vow that if you're married in the Catholic church, you should raise your children under the Catholic faith. I don't know if that's a diocese thing or a concept for all Catholics no matter where they live. PM me if you have any Catholic specific questions, I'll be glad to help.

[Hopingfor1soon]

Thanks so much Becky....I am just worried that we will never be able to agree on the right choice...but I guess we will have to deal with that when the time comes...and thanks I will more than likely be PMing you with some questions....

[caseyb]

That's a tough one. So very personal, it's hard to even comment on it.
Did you guys get married in a Catholic church? I was a non-catholic marrying a catholic in the Catholic church, which required a dispensation from the bishop. My husband didn't force it on me, but I came to love the intensity of the religion personally, so I chose to convert. Maybe his habit of pushing his faith is what is turning you off? I do know that if you get married in a catholic church, then you must promise to raise you kids Catholic, or else it is a sin.
It's such a rigid, structured faith that there really isn't much room for gray areas, so I feel your pain trying to compromise. Granted, you are both Christian, but Catholic mass encompasses many beliefs that other Christian faiths don't, for example..a big one that jumps out is transubstaniation. I can understand his point of view that kids need to be taught the ins and outs of Catholicism from a young ages, but, that being said...I wasn't a cradle Catholic myself and I can really appreciate making the decision as an ADULT, and going thru the initiation into the Catholic Church as an adult, I was really able to ask some very adult questions regarding the history of the church and the origins of it's beliefs (versus questions that kids born into the faith might ask when they are going thru their religious education, if that makes sense.)
I think you have a great attitude saying that you think your love for each other brings you above the differences in faith! I would say, just keep the lines of communication wide open and try to establish a pact to be respectful of each others beliefs, rather than taking the attitude like one belief is superior than the other because it is more structured.
Just as you said, I hope I haven't offended anyone with anything I've said. It's a very personal topic, but I for one really love hearing about other peoples beliefs and religions. Very interesting to me.
Good luck with you husband!

[Hopingfor1soon]

Thanks so much Casey....we were not married in the catholic church but we had a priest sit on the ceremony and our wedding was recognized by the catholic church as a marriage....so I think under that we may have agreed to baptize our children catholic I am not 100% sure though....I just keep going back and forth about it. I feel by being a methodist and being encouraged to learn about other religions I made the choice that was right for me....and DH was baptized catholic and knows nothing about any other religion and I think that is kind of what bothers me....I want my children to be able to choose what religion fits their lifestyle and I dont want to force one religion on them....its something we will have to really think about deeply before we make a final decision...

[*becky*]

I was born into the Catholic faith and so dealing with DH and then his conversion was VERY interesting to me.

Sometimes I wondered what I would have done if I wasn't raised Catholic - would I have been better off if I could have made a choice later on in life? Then I realized that being Catholic was not just my religion, it is a part of who I am. It was a part of my upbringing - without it I wouldn't be the person I am today.
On the flip side of the coin - you can be baptized Catholic, but you are not considered a full member of the church until you are confirmed. That is usually done in junior high or high school. If you truly want your children to make the decision on their own, they would be able to do so before getting confirmed.

Baptism in the Catholic church is "transferrable" to other Christian religions - vice versa is true as well. If you're baptized as a Lutheran for example, the Catholic Church recognizes the baptism.

[caseyb]

Baptism in the Catholic church is "transferrable" to other Christian religions - vice versa is true as well. If you're baptized as a Lutheran for example, the Catholic Church recognizes the baptism.[/b]

Yes, I was never baptized as a baby, so when I decided to convert I went thru RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) and I was baptised, confirmed, and received first communion all in one mass.

Interesting story, there was a lady at my church last year that was baptized, confirmed, received first communion AND was married (to a member of our parish) all during one normal Sunday mass! 4 Sacraments in one hours time- might be a record! I wonder how much prep time went into that one morning, with RCIA and Engaged Encounters, etc

[Lo_and_Behold]

My DH is Catholic..went to all Catholic schools his whole life & the whole 9 yards. I'm not Catholic, not really anything. More spiritual than religious. I was Christened in a Methodist church, but that was the extent of my religious "training".
DH didn't care that I wasn't Catholic, but I was paranoid his parents would freak out when they found out. They're off the boat from Portugal & very religious. I remember talking with his mom once & she was just glad I'd been baptized. That was good enough for her, Catholic church or not.

DH & I have talked about this from time to time...how will we raise our children. He wants them to go to public school. We both have similar spiritual beliefs so I don't think it'll be a problem. He's not a strict Catholic. Although...when my friend got married this Jan & we were at the rehearsal, I went up to give him a hug & kiss in the church & he was beyond uncomfortable. I thought it was kind of cute lol.

I hope you can come to an agreement. That must be tough. DH & I have different family values (ie he wants to see his ALL the time & I'm content to have my own life) & we bicker about this. So I know it can put a strain on things to have different outlooks. Hopefully you two can find a compromise somewhere that makes you both happy.

[dng]

I was baptized into the catholic church at age 5 after my mother asked my permission. She tried to explain and let me decide for myself. I did first communion and catholic education classes under the same circumstances. Then, my mother stopped taking us to church (for whatever reason, my father had never gone so maybe that is it). When I started driving, I re-entered the catholic education classes. I also went to other church services, bible studies, ect with other family and friends. I decided to get confirmed and later married in the Catholic church. I think the most important thing is not the baptism or schooling, but that you both have open minds on what you can offer your children.

Christians have the same beliefs generally, they just tell their stories a little differently. Even if your children are raised catholic, you can use your Methodist beliefs to explore other religions with them. Part of teaching Christainity is teaching about being non-judgemental. I would not have chosen to be Catholic had it not been an educated decision. I ultimately believe that I am Christian above all else because even though I don't agree with every single Catholic principle, I do believe in the Lord.

[cazza]

my dh is catholic but doesnt force his beliefs on me. Phelix was baptized catholic but wont be baptising Noah as i really dont agree with some of their values. We have decided that we will raise our children with christian beliefs but not an actual faith (catholic etc)