I hate my body!

MamaAnna · #1 June 25th, 2008, 07:39 AM

I swear my body is trying to make me crazy! My last 5 cycles (not counting the one I'm on) have been 31, 38, 32, 30, and 36 days! It just can't make up its mind! I've had cycles as long as 39 days and as short as 29. Needless to say my O date wanders a bit! Charting has helped so much because at least I know when my cycles are going to be longer, but it's making me feel like my hormones are so out of whack that we'll never get a BFP. My cycles have self-regulated in the past, and those are the times I got pregnant while TTA. Now we're TTC and they're just out of control. I have a year and a half worth of cycle lengths and they've never been the same twice in a row. They tried putting me on Yaz at one point to regulate me, but it made things worse. I feel like it's all my fault that we aren't getting pregnant which is something DH wants just as much as I do and that makes it worse. I go to MIL's to hang out and she'll mention how much DH talks about us having more children and how much he wants to have one right away. Well we're on cycle 8 so obviously right away is no longer an option! I don't know what they can do to help though. My OB said that my reaction to Yaz was so abnormal from what it should've been that I'll probably never react well to a BCP. I know they won't try anything like that to regulate my cycles. I just don't know what to do anymore other than blame myself and assume it'll never happen for us.

Sorry for the rant, I just really needed to vent. I've been thinking about this since our first BFN and just needed to get it out before I blew up.

wishingxxx · #2 June 25th, 2008, 08:39 AM

Dont blame yourself!
Its really not your fault,its mother nature and her strange little ways.
You WILL get your

when its right for you,and i know youre going to be thinking "right now is right for me",I feel the same,but mother nature works in mysterious ways.
At least thats what im blaming today,i hope you catch that egg soon.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chatterbox · #3 June 25th, 2008, 08:58 AM

It's not your fault hun!!! Don't think like that.

My cycles vary ALL the time. Always have. I'm rooting for you and I really truly know you will get your BFP darlin! Hang in there and vent all you want. I know how frustrating it is not knowing what move your body will make next.

snsgirl336 · #4 June 25th, 2008, 10:09 AM

I just wish there were an easy way to figure out our bodies when they go wacko. I'm so sorry your body is driving you crazy! It's just not fair and it's not your fault that you aren't getting pregnant.
I am very sure that it will happen for you! I hope it is soon! My DH is always saying that it will happen when the time is right for us. I usually want to kill him whenever he starts that sentence, but I believe there is some truth to it. Hang in there! I hope that everything will find a way to work itself out for you and that you can get that BFP really soon!

MamaAnna · #5 June 25th, 2008, 11:17 AM

Oh I know that feeling. I just want to pinch DH every time he says it'll happen when the time is right. Doesn't he know how impatient a woman gets when she wants a baby?

*becky* · #6 June 25th, 2008, 12:39 PM

Have you tried yelling at your ovaries? "HEY, OVARIES! Get in line!!"

Seriously though...I had various cycle lengths after I had Bailey. Plus I O'd late (sometimes CD 21 or more)...so I know how the variables can make you go bonkers. I don't know if this is intentional or not - but since I've been on Femara, I have had a 30 day cycle and O on either CD 15 or 16 compared to CD 21, that's awesome for me!!

I would think there would be something besides BCP that could help regulate your cycles.