[dng]

I knew that having hope for this cycle was dangerous. I was crushed today when AF showed. I then called my RE to ask about my LP being so short (10 days, I think). I had to leave a message, and when they returned my call, they ignored my question and just said that my labs were not back. They closed early so I could not call back. So all day at my new job, I was so upset.

I cried all the way home from work (40 min). Then for about 2 hours when I got home. Then I took a nap and cried again when I woke up. Now I just feel numb. It's all broken- my will power, my faith, my heart, and apparently my uterus. I don't know if I can keep doing this. Any of it. The boards, TTC, the waiting every month to only be disappointed. It's just too hard. I would love to consider adoption, but right now (financially) that is not an option. You guys that have done this for a while are so tough. I have had about 14 months of this and I feel so drained.

[sethsgirl]

I'm so sorry hun I hope you feel better soon, and I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

[wishingxxx]

Its awful that you are feeling this way sweetheart,I think I'm going to be feeling exactly the same at the end of next cycle,that will have been a year TTC.
I dont blame you at all,its not easy getting back up after a kick like this.I know you will though,youre a fighter and youve come this far,it would be crazy to just stop.
You'll need time out,time to yourself and time for DH,then maybe after a wee while,youll feel the want to get back to it.
Feel better soon xxxxxxxxxxx

[caseyb]

I understand how you feel- I am still recovering from AF arriving 3 days ago and being very upset about it. I felt like a zombie for a couple of days. 14 months IS a long time, but it's also a testiment to how badly you want a child, so I'm not sure you should give up yet.
I'm sorry this month has been a hard one for you, but you are in good company! Hope things start looking better for you real soon!

[~Andrea~]

Oh hun...it stinks that this journey is so frustrating! It should be something fun and exciting...but its not. The one thing I do know though, is that all the struggles, all the tears, all the heartache, will be worth it in the end. Stay strong girl!

[Chatterbox]

I hope you don't mind me popping in here, but I wanted to say that I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I think the whole fertility issue just sucks. All this technology where we can send people to live in space, and we can't seem to get a handle on the woman's reproductive system.

I know there aren't any magic words to make things better or I would say them to you. I know it is extremely frustrating when your doctor doesn't listen to you. When you call them back on Monday, make them answer your question. Keep asking them. So what if they get annoyed....you are paying them for a service to you and they should be more than willing to answer your questions.

Now, I have to admit that I moved out of here quicker than most ladies, but we did have to use MA for it and personally we went through quite a bit over the past year and a half since we started TTC that was out of our control. So, I do understand those feelings of giving up, of feeling like it's just never going to happen, frustration, anger, hurt, feeling broken, and feeling like we were never going to be able to afford to go with alternative routes. I know a lot of people probably don't remember me from TTC #1 or even WTTC when I was on the required break because I had to step away from JM. I just needed a break.

We will completely understand if you need to step away. Just please know that we are all here for you when you are ready. I sincerely hope that you can make your doctors office play nice and that you get some answers hun. I also hope you get your spirit and faith back. You've always been so kind here on the boards, and I hate to see you hurt like you are. I truly hope that you get you BFP really soon.

Tami

[MamaAnna]

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. I hope that when your labs come back you get the answers you need to get your BFP.

[*becky*]

I agree with Tami - On Monday call your doctor's office and don't let them avoid your questions. You know your body and its common knowledge that a 10 day LP is too short. You are not paying them to ignore you.

I hope that you are able to relax and get your mind off of TTC for a few days. We will totally understand if you need a break...we are here when you need us.

((((hugs))))

[Lo_and_Behold]

(((((HUGS))))) I'm so sorry AF showed and you're feeling down. I think most of us get to that point at some time in this whole TTC journey . Hopefully your dr will listen to you & try to get you some help for lengthening your LP. Have your tried B6 and/or Vitex? I know this has helped other ladies. Feel better!! *hugs*

[dng]

Okay, so I called back today and told the nurse again about my short LP. She was like "What, you started already?" Yeah, that is what my message said of Friday. She said that I would probably have to chart for a couple months. My RE told me I would not have too from the beginning, and I told her that. She said she would look at my chart and call me back. Six hours later I finally called back. She said that they still did not have my progesterone levels and that the RE wanted to wait on them. I told her that I really did not want to do another post-coital and that I would like to try and IUI. She said she agrees because our insurance coverage is through this month. She also said that she is not as conservative as the RE. She said to call and schedule when we get a pos OPK. Then, if I needed progesterone, they would give me a script. So, yea!!!!! Here's hoping!!!!

Oh, then I called the place that drew my lab, and it turns out that they had the wrong fax #, so my results got sent finally. I did not get to ask what they were before I was cut off though.

[Jlynn]

I am so very sorry
It makes me sad to see you this down. I will be praying that you get an answer soon.
Try not to lose faith!

[courtneytcu98]

Diane, I hope you are feeling a smidge better with hope of an IUI in your future. You are a strong woman to go through 14 months of this. I hope you can find a spot of inner peace to make the right decision regarding TTC with your DH.

[snsgirl336]

[LisaD]

I'm so sorry! I am glad that you finally found out why your lab work wasn't back yet! I hope you get the answers you are looking for tomorrow.

[ShannonMVT]

((hugs)) I am so sorry you've been feeling down. I understand; there are some days when I just feel absolutely broken.

I'm glad to hear your Dr is taking you seriously and that you'll get to move on to doing IUI.